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One Year

Sep 05, 2012 - 0 comments

The reason today was so terrible...the weather patterns are the same as they were last year and they are reminding me of my ex, and me and him would have been together one year today if we had not broken up. So yeah, I was a little sad, and I called my mom and told her how much life sucked and everything and how much I didn't care about living or dying. Thankfully the day got way better thanks to my mother actually lending a listening ear and understanding me, and I'm pretty sure we understand each other a little better now.

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Ugh

Jul 04, 2012 - 0 comments

Depressive episode instigated by a shithead co-worker. My co-worker has been treating me like crap the past 2 days, and today it reached a point when she told me she wanted to hit me over the head with a keyboard after I did nothing wrong. I nearly quit my job and went home and killed myself. NOW I'm slowly discovering that the plans that I have made with more than 1 person in going to this city this weekend is going out the window, and I can't find any other friends to hang out. I will probably end up staying home doing nothing all day, isolating myself in my room, because hey, I guess that's where I belong...

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Zoloft Medication success?

Jun 25, 2012 - 2 comments
Tags:

Zoloft

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medication

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success

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story

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100mg

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50mg

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Anti-Depressant

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pills

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Work



I think I might have really hit a huge bump with the Zoloft. I used to be on Zoloft as a kid for a long time, and 100mg was just right for me then, but they're too much now. I stopped taking the 100mg because it was making me sweat too much. Looks like my adult dosage is right at being 50mg. I also seem less dizzy on less of it. But the dizziness is also coming from what I think is a severe Xanax withdrawal, which is something I DID NOT see myself quitting doing, EVER. I can't believe I have made it this far. Xanax withdrawals are scary, I will tell you that much. When you're off of it, you might hallucinate like I did. Here's an example of one of my hallucinations: I thought I saw the clouds melting 5 or so days ago.

I was becoming a real mess on the Xanax. I probably needed to increase my dose, but I refused. Then I started reading up on things and I discovered I was becoming addicted to Xanax. Not enough of the medication was doing it for me anymore, and life was always depressing.

Now it's actually to a point where it is good again. It's also nice that finally, after nearly 8 months of being put on more than 5 anti-depressants, I think I might have finally found one that works. But I don't want to be on this pill for too long, I'm thinking 1 or 2 months only. I need to set an end date to this. But I don't want to withdraw either or enjoy life less

I would figure the pills aren't meant for long-term use and that the beneficial effects would stick around, but I could be wrong about that too. I have been taking Zoloft for just a little over 2 and a half weeks now.


Work is going good, I'm glad to have my job back and some satisfaction in enjoying what I am good at doing. But I really would rather design meaningless **** all day, so I'm wondering if it's time I went to school for graphic arts so I can a graphic designer.

Could college really come this year??? WATCH OUT WORLD!!! hahaha xD

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January 11th, 2012

Jan 11, 2012 - 0 comments

Crippling depression attack today (or mood swing, whatever the hell you call them), went up and down constantly for an hour following 8 hours of taking of Cymbalta.

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