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I think the time has come to say goodbye

Mar 05, 2014 - 18 comments

Hello Ladies-
I want to start off by saying I am who I am today in part because of all the love and support I received from
this site and the wonderful women I met along the long and hard infertility road.
I often probably almost obesssively came to this site to pour my heart out, read the JOY of seeing another BFP amung my friends and just to feel not so alone.
You all were my friends when those here in the flesh didnt understand, want to understand or couldnt even begin to understand what I was going through. And for that I will forever be indebted to you all.

I loved sharing the news of my BFP, you were all there for me through the ups and downs of my Lil Pea and not knowing whether she was going to be or not. But WOW look at us now. Life is so full of love and happiness and a beyond amazing little miraculous DIVA lil Miss Q!!!

I have enjoyed sharing my journey through motherhood to date with you all. But sadly. I feel its not the same. I have distanced myself from the site lately and honestly. No one seemed to notice. Now I am not looking for Im sorry's WE/YOU have NO REASON to be sorry. You owe me and no body else on this site ANY explanation. Life happens, we have responsibilites, we are here when we can be to support one another. Thats all it should be.

No one owes me their time, their care. Their kind words. But I received that and so much more while here. And with that again I say THANK YOU.

Thank you all for everything. I wish you all the VERY VERY best. For those of us who became more than just a profile name and picture, you know where to find me.

Good Luck to those still on the road to motherhood. Your TIME IS SOON. You will forever be in my thoughts and prayers.

Love you All!!
Take Care

Hopeitworks and Miss Q :)

Some Input

Dec 04, 2013 - 9 comments

So DF recently switched companies within his career path. In going to this company he went on hoping to advance from assist mngr to mngr to district mngr and upwards rather quickly. On this app he indicated relocation was not a option for him.
He has recently met ALOT of the big wigs, people who havent come into his store or any stores for years. They are coming to meet and talk with him specifically. Yesterday he happened to meet with a VP of something. And he basically told DF straight out that his wants arent likely to happen given the growth in our area for the company is pretty well complete, they are however going to be opening 500 stores throughout the mid west and west coast etc within the next 2-5yrs, and they are looking at him for that. They state its easier to take someone from within and place them into the new store with experiece verses starting fresh makes sense.
He also stated that although DF maybe better qualified and have more experience than say someone else going for the position if the other applicant says they will relocate, well they are going to get the job over DF.
The VP said they understood its a family, and life changing decision not something to be taken lightly
Now DF has no family, he would up and leave tomorrow. Its my family that is here.

I want to support DF in his career and I know what he does is all for the good of the family. Its hard for me to think of moving more than a car ride away from my family
I always wanted Quinlan to have that once a week family dinner(which in reality we did for a while then it stopped), the holidays with one another(this is what airplanes are for), things like that

I guess Im nervous and its not something we have to decide today or tomorrow but in the next few months and the move would be in next couple of years at this point or at least thats our understanding.
I just want Quinlan to have the best possible life with all doors open for her. I want her to be happy,healthy, safe and know she is loved beyond words.
I dont want her to feel the void of not having family and loved ones around, I dont want DF busting his A$$ to provide for us and make a better life only to miss out on the joys of Quinlan.

DF has basically put this on me. If I think its best we stay put and raise Quinlan here we do, if I think its best and a better opportunity for the family to move we move.
Thats alot on someone's plate!!

I know in my heart the right thing to do is move when the offer presents itself. Its more $, which will help us put Quinlan through college and aide her in achieving her dreams in life. It will help us save more for retirement and be able to do the things we want to do once that time comes. Where now we live in a old money area. If we took our salaries now for example and moved down South we could have a "mansion" for less than we pay for what we have now

And thats not important to me its just an example of one of the benefits in setting ourselves up to be prepared for later in life.

I dont know. Not really sure what the point of this journal is other than to let it all out and I dont know what would you do? Move your "family" away from family to better yourselves or stay make it by your not well off your not struggling really either, and have family and loved ones close........

Oh also we would move/settle before Quinlan enters school.
I dont want her establishing those precious forever relationships and then ripping her heart out and making her be that ackward new kid.


**NOW Df's old company came back to him with a offer of more money, the understanding so they say of why he left and basically saying he loses nothing(opportunities, vacation etc) having left and he will start right back where he was

Funny Yahoo News Today SOOOO TRUE!!!!

Nov 20, 2013 - 5 comments

We do weird things like sing goofy songs to make our children smile in public places and wipe their faces with our spit. Or maybe that's just me. Either way, I often laugh at some of the things I do now as a parent that I never would've dreamed of in my pre-parent days. There are definitely plenty of things I thought were gross/weird/annoying before becoming a parent that I don't even bat an eyelash at now. Here are just a few:

1. Saying "you won't understand until you're a parent"

Hearing this used to make me frustrated beyond belief, and I remember feeling so patronized when parents would say it. I have a background in child development and have worked with children in a ton of different capacities during the almost 10 years before I became a parent. I had been surrounded by children for years, so obviously I could understand the plight of parents.

So, about that ... it's totally true. You just don't know until you're a parent. I realize now that most parents weren't trying to be patronizing, just speaking their truth. And it is the truth. No matter how much you've been around kids, things are totally different when you're dealing with your own kid 24/7. As in totally and completely different.

2. Posting 80 bajillion pictures of your kid on Instagram

In my pre-kid days, I just couldn't understand why parents felt the need to post non-stop kid spam in their photo stream? "Don't you people have anything better to take photos of?" Now that I'm a parent, I am totally guilty of this, but I get it now. Before I had a kid I was posting food or pet pictures, but now I have a real live human subject who does cute photo-worthy things. Even if no one else is into it, I am and that's what social media is all about anyway - sharing the things you love.

Related: 7 reasons why it's good to be a "mean mom"


3. Giving into feeding demands

I remember seeing parents giving in to their children's feeding demands and thinking it was super annoying. "If your kid gets hungry enough, they'll probably eat those green beans - just sayin'." These were my naive pre-parenting thoughts.

Now I know that when you're a parent, the food thing is really about picking your battles. Sometimes it's not worth fighting over a few veggies and if my kid really wants Mickey Mouse pancakes for breakfast, why not? I'll just try to squeeze in something a little healthier at lunch. It's about balance and avoiding a struggle when it's not totally necessary.

4. Wiping bodily fluids with your hands

"You just wiped your kids snot with your hand and then wiped it on your pants. Have you no self-respect?!" Now that I'm a parent, I know that the answer to that question is: nope. OK. That's not true. We have self-respect, but if you don't have a tissue you just do what you've gotta do - plus you birthed this creature so it's kind of like wiping your own snot.

5. Being THOSE parents at the restaurant

Before I had a child of my own, I remember glaring at "those parents" at restaurants. The ones who let their kid make a massive mess and throw food all over the floor. Now that I have a toddler, I know that sometimes your toddler just isn't going to let you help them when it comes to feeding time and if you try there will only be screaming which other diners obviously don't want to hear. Basically you're just going to have to let them make a mess by feeding themselves. I always try to pick up as much as I can before leaving though out of consideration for those who have to clean up after us.

6. Using wipes for everything

I remember seeing a friend wipe her counters with a baby wipe once and another friend wipe down the inside of her car and thinking it was the weirdest thing. Now I get it. Baby wipes are awesome, and I fully intend on using them long after my little is out of diapers.

7. Letting kids run like banshees in public

I remember seeing children running around like crazies and thinking "Why can't these parents just control their children?! When I have kids there's no way I will ever let them behave that way." Now I've been on the parent end of this kind of situation. For the most part, I try to avoid running errands when my daughter is having a rough day and if she's having a hard time in a particular situation I'll typically just leave before it gets out of hand, but sometimes it's just unavoidable.

Maybe our fridge is totally empty and I have to go to the grocery store right then, or we're at a doctor's appointment, or there is a similar situation. There are just some times when toddler tantrums just happen. As a parent I will do my best to avoid them and handle them, but sometimes I'm just overwhelmed and at a loss with an important task to finish. Now I get it a little more.

8. Always saying that you're "SO busy"

Pre-parenting, I understood that parents were busy ... just like the rest of us. We all have responsibilities, right? Well, sort of, but parenting is a 24/7 gig. No weekends, no holidays. It's exhausting in a completely different way than I've ever experienced. I thought I was busy before having my daughter and now I laugh at that notion. I had so much more free time. I also remember thinking stay-at-home moms had it made. Playing with a kid all day? Sign me up! Ha! Let's just say it's very different when you do it day in and day out though. Definitely worth it, but busy on another kind of level.



Please Help

Oct 07, 2013 - 5 comments

Ok so I wrote breifly on this last week however this is more about sleep than anything

Quinlan has been in her own bed for about 13 months now. I could put her down wide awake and she would be fine no fussing nothing and sleep til about 5:30-6am

Now the last 2weeks she cries when I put her in her crib and she wont fall alseep unless I am in her room. It started with her night waking so  Im thinking she had a bad dream

But now its at bed time and she is waking up anywhere between 2-4am and crying and wont go back to sleep

Im not sure what to do or how to handle. One night I went in after letting her cry for over haf hour and she was shaking. I felt awful Im not sure if it was being scared or from being upset from crying or a little of both.

Any advice or input about how to handle this. I dont want to go backwards here :(