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slowly but surely

Jan 12, 2011 - 0 comments
Tags:

norco

,

quitting

,

Suboxone

,

Addiction



I was walking to the car today to go to work and I thought, it's not so bad after all.  I'm on day 10 without Norco and at first I felt extra good and extra happy.  Well that lasted about a day before I started looking at all my messes.  It's like f*!@ I don't even have the energy to fix all this.  But I do, it's just me being impatient as usual and wanting everything fixed right away, which I know isn't gonna happen.  So anyway financially I'm bad, but I'm trying to get as much overtime as possible and hopefully I can get caught back up and then one day I can get ahead.  We moved out into an extended stay hotel.  That even made me feel bad at first but then I had to look at it like, at least the kids don't have to see constant fighting and be uncomfortable.  I mean they're happy, my girls are so good, they don't ask for much and they're appreciative.  So I guess the plan for now is to stay in my little hotel room, which really is like a one bedroom apartment, save up money oh yeah and start going to meetings. Now i just posted about that, how quickly we forget.

counting down

Jan 02, 2011 - 1 comments
Tags:

withdrawal

,

pills



So today is supposed to be the last day I will be taking these pills.  I'm excited but nervous too just because of the withdrawal symptoms I know I'm going to feel.  Long term though it'll be well worth it all, actually short term it will be well worth it all.  I made a couple decisions about changes that I need to and am going to make.  The main one is these pills, but that'll stop with my appointment on Monday.  On Friday, when I get paid, I'm moving me and the girls to an extended stay hotel.   It's $200 a week, but it's better than staying with someone who makes me feel uncomfortable and who I feel really doesn't want me there.  We'll have our own space which is very important to me.  When I move out Friday I'm going to change all of our phone numbers so that theres no way we can have any contact.  Sometimes a person is just no longer good for you and I know that is the situation here.  This is long overdue.  I'm happy though. I finally feel like things are starting to come together, slowly but surely:)

I give up

Dec 04, 2010 - 4 comments
Tags:

pills

,

using

,

norco

,

Addiction

,

quit



still using, what a surprise and broke because I'm spending $100/day on pills

tired of pills..............but not tired enough

Nov 18, 2010 - 3 comments
Tags:

pills

,

cold turkey

,

Suboxone

,

help

,

CT

,

norco

,

TIRED

,

FED UP



So I have been going back and forth about the decision to finally stop the Norco's for awhile now.   I just don't understand why it is so hard for me to quit.  I have quit worse things than Norco before cold turkey.  I heard once that everytime you relapse and start again it's harder to quit..............maybe that's true.  I'm tired, tired of being a different person than I once was, tired of the financial drain it's putting on me, just tired. And all my problems relate to pills, like I can see a direct connection, it's crazy. And after saying all of that, why can't I just decide not to take anymore or at the very least taper off.  Last week I was looking up info on suboxone online and I found a website that said you can have an appointment within 72 hours. So I bought my pills for the weekend then figured I would have an appointment by Monday. Well I called and it's a 3 month wait.  It really pissed me off because they shouldn't say 72 hours if that isn't true.  The first appointment would be $500 and then weekly it would be $110.  That is so much cheaper than what I'm spending now.  I didn't schedule the appointment though.  We'll see, maybe I'll get tired enough next week to actually do something.