Oct 17, 2016
The day is not really important because I could go by the calendar- which would logically make sense. However, my calendar does not run like that nor does a lot of peoples calendars. I am not in a weekly or monthly or yearly calendar. Only my finances are. My calendar runs in different cycles. I do not have a job or a routine that would allow me to simply say that it matters that today is Oct the something...
Today is the beginning of my weekend. I decided to stay at home and not "work" today. Once you see something or know something it is impossible to un-see it or un-know it. For this reason I am compelled to leave the house most days and do the most "good" I can do. Mostly unappreciated "work" that is a band aid to the problems that I am assisting with. I have a good friend that is elderly who himself takes care of an elderly, handicapped lady. I go there most every day to feed his animals, clean the house, and basically tend to whatever arises that he cannot take care of.
It is not that I do not get anything out of it. There are perks and the biggest one above all others is that I get to feels selfless in my actions and it makes it easier to sleep at night.
But this being my weekend, I felt like staying home for a bit. This bit may indeed stretch longer than usual because I am just wore out and fed up and the problem isn't entirely with others. Other people are the way they are and I although I would change some of their thought patterns if I could I mostly let other people be themselves.
The real problem lies in the fact that most people I encounter at my "job" have stopped "writing their book."
What I mean by this is simple in principle yet since I am a write I generally like to use literary themes in my analogies. I write. I write and write and write. Not only literally but also metaphorically. I am constantly refining my character and learning and growing into a personality that I am pleased with. Balancing out the good and bad, the realistic and mystical. I have wrote several times on here and other places boasting "I am a writer" or "I am Bubby". I am a veteran, I am a martial artist. I am the product of several different experiences and a handful of personalities. Basically we all are. Somewhere along the line we finally settle into a personality and most of the time that is it. There are no more changes we just stop learning, pause changing, and regurgitate the words and sentences that become automatic. The bad part is often when we settle, if we settle, there is still a lot of ignorance that we have about the world. Being here in Kentucky, as I am sure it is in a lot of places, I am surrounded by and hit with a lot of ignorance, sometimes on a daily basis...
Neil Degrasse Tyson said it once that he is ok with people believing what they want to believe. I am as well. The problem lies when you try to change the beliefs of other people. I offer a challenge to anything I here when it is welcome. I challenge myself and I challenge other people to re-think what they have learned. I am getting exhausted however when I am faced with these thoughts that seem to be non-stop that most of the things that I hear are not true. I have a tolerance for the amount that I can take and when that tolerance is reached I must confine myself again. To calm, to find peace, and to build up more tolerance.
Anyway I am just rambling. I don't have really any negative thoughts towards my friends and family. I just get tired of riding the waves of their negativity and emotional distress. There is no problem that we cannot work on together. It just requires opening the book back up and doing some editing on what we think we know. Then we must start writing a new chapter. It could be titled "What I thought I knew."
If anyone reads this I hope it is not looked at as negative and I would love to have a discussion on it if someone shares the same belief or disapproves of it. Either way.