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The Final Conclusions About The Older Girl With Potty Troubles

Oct 07, 2014 - 1 comments
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For those of you who have been following the updates it's been several months of dedicated visits to a very very good psychologist.  A while back the psychologist told us to come inside the room with her and the little girl, the child who was once our neighbor but has now become our adopted daughter do to parental neglect in her own home.  I already knew the information about her father being arrested after robbing a bank and about her mother being an abusive alcoholic.  What I did not realize and what my wife never knew about, was that when her biological mother had a boyfriend he had done what no humanbeing should ever ever do, ever.  I will say only that "monsters" are real!  And during that time with a "monster" (her biological mother's boyfriend) the child at six years old had a toileting accident out of fear and it suddenly made her undesirable to the "monster".  So that is how the child developed a psychological need for being diapered.  She made herself a vow to never again use a toilet no matter how bad she was spanked!  The awful truth behind her bizarre behaviors is actually not bizarre at all, but heart crushingly sad.

Please, Please, Please, if you have an older child that soils themselves and does not clean up after doing so, Please have them see a very good psychologist and work out whether or not there is a "monster" in their life somewhere that is causing this bizarre behavior, there might be something you don't know and would never dream of causing the problems!

Mothers - Fathers!  "Monsters" are real!  And when you are a young child and terrified to say anything you may do things that go beyond all madness and insanity if it will keep the "monster" away!  This child now ten years old has been in counseling since age nine, last year.  It's taken more than six months with a truly great counselor who made herself a friend of the little girl.  Because we made so much progress with a child determined better off in a mental institution, of which we literally begged children's services to let us work with her in our home, because we have made so much progress our once neighbor, who became our foster daughter, was finally granted permission to become our adopted daughter!

My wife has been so patient and diligent and kind.  I still remember back when there was no children's services agents around.  Back when the child would just sit under the play house at the park in her medical diapers and not even ask to be changed.  Even I couldn't understand why my wife would actually wet herself just to get the child's attention!  But, it did work, since she was not our child, it was the only way a stranger could show her that, my wife was willing to endure ridicule with the child!  Yes, people "flamed" my wife and banned her accounts, even blocked her facebook!  The world said she was mad, more mad than the child!  I don't even know why she put it on the internet in the first place!  She reached an end to getting through to the child and sought for answers online.  A mistake in this day and age!

But what about today though?  My wife found the way inside the little child's heart, since she was eight years old my wife has been working the locks on her heart.  My wife became the fool of the neighborhood!  But that's just what the child needed to see at that time!  The little girl knew that someone truly loved her!  Someone was willing to get down into the filth with her and reach out and embrace her and in that indescribable friendship bound... my wife now has the little girl wearing pull-ups and using a toilet during the daytime at home only.

Even at ten years old she is terrified to go out the doors without a diaper on.  She still prefers to have a dirty soiled diaper on her.  But now we clearly understand why!  My wife may seem crazy to the whole world.  But she is the only one, through her work with the psychologist who has been able to get the little ten year old girl to try pull-ups at home during the daytime.  I always knew she wasn't crazy and that's why I got so upset at how people treated her when she looked for some answers online.  I do agree that her ideas on how she approached gaining the child's trust was unacceptable to myself, but "flaming" her over it seemed a bit inhuman to me.  Have people forgotten that names on the computer screen go directly back to actual humanbeings?  This isn't Looney Tunes or Tom and Jerry where you can just mindlessly attack some anonymous name on a computer screen and there won't be any emotional hurt because of it!  Every internet entry leads back to a humanbeing somewhere in this world!  I think we should take the human decency to get to know that humanbeing first, before jumping to predetermined conclusions.

Guess what: the world isn't all black and white, what you think you know about something could be something entirely different than you would ever imagine to guess!  No, the little girl does not have a fetish problem, No, my wife isn't one either!  The little girl has a phobia of things we can never talk about, and my wife has so much love in her, that when everyone givesup, she will do the unthinkable to show a lost hurt child that she wants to love that poor lost abused little child!  I'm just sorry she mentioned on the internet and on her deleted account that was once on here.  The world isn't all black and white: it would be my advice to try to talk to someone before just flaming them on the internet.  Everyone has motivations for what they do.  Talk to someone and find out from their own words who they really are.  Secrets cannot be hidden in many words, the more a person talks through a keyboard the more they open up in ways they would not in person!  Talk to people and find out their motives from them personally.  My wife could have explained that no doctors were getting anywhere with the child.  Nobody could talk to her.  She would not even speak a word!  She was scheduled to be picked up and put into a child's insane asylum, today they call it a mental health ward, but it's not much different from the old fifties asylums.  If given the opportunity my wife would have told how the only way to break the silence was through a very long conversation with the child.  It was when the child finally snapped, "You'd never understand!"  That was when my wife took the steps to show the child she was willing to sit in the same "place" as the child.  Sure it was stupid, and the whole neighborhood hates us because of it and no one talks to us anymore because of it!  But: saving one child is worth losing the whole world for!  We have our adopted little girl now and it's because my wife was willing to step into her shoes that the child is willing to try out my wife's shoes - it's through a bound that my wife is gently and cautiously leading the child out of the hopelessness of medical diapers and into the bright possibilities with pull-ups today!

Our great hope is that the child will be fully toilet trained some day and grow up to be a beautiful young woman, free from the "monsters" of her past!  But, I will not give anymore updates.  I have said enough now.  Have such children who exhibit similar behaviors taken to see a very good psychologist who can crack the hidden motives behind why older children don't use a toilet: there maybe a "monster" you don't know about in their lives!  I would not recommend my wife's actions, lol.  But she is a different person to marry a person with Autism Syndrome Disability, and end up with three children on the Autism Spectrum, all of them mentally delayed.  It takes an unusual person to put up with things like that.  But she is very very good at getting ahold of stunted heart and leading that heart to do things it thinks can't be done!  She is the very reason that I am in the United States Navy!  As an enlisted officer we have a very good life, thanks to my unusual wife and I love her with all my heart!  My closing thoughts:  Pray for all the little children in this world, they need it more than we will ever know! -and- Thank You to Friends who have stuck by us.  Now we all know, the rest of the story. - (a Paul Harvey quote).

May I Get Some Prayers From Friends?

Jan 02, 2014 - 1 comments
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This is about my foster daughter.  She is very very sick in the hospital.  To explain briefly, she is the little girl who used to live next door to us, her father left her, her mother became an abusive alcoholic; and with all that going on the daughter flat out quit using toilets!  The school board forced her to be put into incontinence diapers by doctor prescription and she was forced to do regular school work in a special needs class room.  Right before the mother went totally loopy, my wife and I had got her to make the arrangements to have the little child legally signed over to us.  The state however, refused to comply and insisted she be placed into an institution.  We fought against it all and got her as a foster daughter indefinitely.  But she's free from institutions.  This is what happened the other night. - Trying to celebrate the New Year, yet terrified about our little girl's future.  Well, quick recap, a week ago she spiked a bad fever.  It seemed to go up and down a little.  The other day she was doing very poorly couldn't even drink liquids.  Last night her fever shot up to 110 - we dashed her to the emergency room, her temperature continued to go to 112 when they brought slowly back down!  We're still waiting for definitive diagnosis but doctor thinks it's just a really bad flu case.  Getting back to last night.  The nurse came into to change the little girl's incontinent diaper and suddenly she snapped awake and her glassy confused stare she said half muffled; "No! Daddy, find, stinker, find, I'm...."  She just mumbled after that.  While the nurse took care of her me and my wife went into the hallway and we began to spill on about the same memory.  If you want to understand the situation that was once posted on here - finally!  Read this:  The last time the little girl saw her father she was five years old at her fifth birthday.  The girl soiled herself and her mother realized when she set the cake down.  The mother threw a small fit over it.  Her father however rushed right over to her, scooped her into his arms and said right to her face: "You leave her alone!  She's my little stinker!  You don't have to be anything anyone else wants you to be!  You're my little stinker!"  The father then turned around to everyone else there and said; "If you don't like my little girl just how she is, then you can get the (expletive) out my (expletive) house!"  I removed his 'choice' words there.  To bring all this forward now.  The little girl was never told what happened to her father.  I have no idea what she was told or what she thinks.  My wife and I need to have a long talk with her when she's better and back at home.  Her father went out with his friends and robbed a bank!  He was a very 'colorful' person.  The local SWAT unit surrounded his house and took him down right on his front yard!  My wife called me that day terrified, I told her to take everyone and hide in the back bathroom.  If they knock she would have to answer, or they may break our door or something.  They never came near our house.  So the little girl's father is in federal prison now!  Rather than handling the situation her mother became a raving abusive drunk!  She drunk away all the money they had left.  At age eight the little girl started soiling herself and just instantly "quit" using toilets altogether!  She is now ten years old, still wearing medical diapers.  And she will fight if anyone tries to take her filthy diapers off her!  No struggle over the wet ones.  But my wife has to battle her just to try and keep her rash free for Pete's Sake!  We've been the only people in the whole world fighting for her, refusing to put her into an institution.  The state now thinks we are just as mad for going through all of this with three Autistic Children of our own!  The whole point is, most of the time the little girl is super calm and super nice and often when I'm home we sit on the couch and watch Disney movies together.  Now I have struggled with everything!  We stabilized her home life.  We got her completely away from computers to crush any possibility of a fetish coming up.  At one point I hired a Nanny to go with everywhere and make certain at no point she was being exposed "any" fetish!  No children or internet like that.  After two weeks straight I had to call off the Nanny, that was all I could budget for.  We found out the 'while the Nanny was there' the school was taking very good care of her.  The principal still welcomed her and often commented on how pretty her beautiful blonde hair is, and she would compliment her nice outfits.  The principal trying to get her see her beauty and convince the little girl to give up the nasty diapers.  Well, I kept telling my wife when she would talk about it all, it has to be something inside the child's soul!  It's not physical, it's not mental, it's not even a fetish; which is obvious because she doesn't "enjoy" it.  Well, now I know exactly what it is!  Sometime at age seven and eight she created a fabricated fairytale inside herself that told her if she would be a "stinker" than her father would come back to her!  So we fully understand why!  That is why she went so far, in front of friends, at school, everywhere!  Before she was placed into diapers, she was just going, and the school board got onto her mother and made something get done, because she making places all over the school unsanitary and unsafe for other children!  I now believe that she has a mental psychosis; she loved her father more than anything and he loved her more than the world!  Those two together were a picture of family love!  Now I understand why she is so broken up and I have no idea what her mother told her or what her mother did to her during 7 and 8 yrs old.  But I'm going to explain everything to the Best Psychiatrist I can afford and begin working with this wonderful little girl to pull her back from her mental five year old block and help her to see that she is now a very very beautiful ten year old young Lady!  Please Pray that we resolve all of this.  I'm thinking of working with the professional to explain to her about her father and then when she's dry and clean; taking her in the most beautiful dress to go see her father!  If I tell her that he's still here, and how much he would love to see a grown up young Lady, I think my wife and I and a professional can finally end this nightmare once and for all!  Thank you everyone for your cares!  I know my wife was quite abrasive and went after the wrong path to try to solve things on here; but she cares a heap of a lot and she cares so much she gets frustrated.  The little girl and my wife have had a special bond since the child was two yrs old!  At 2 she ran across the lawns and dove into my wife's lap and cuddled herself right up there!  Once you pull away all the bad stuff, she's an absolutely wonderful, adorable person, very smart and very very talented!  That's why we've done everything to keep her out of institutions.  All she needs is LOVE!  Thank you everyone who cared about her and wrote us letters on here - Thank You All.

You Can Overcome Autism Syndrome Disorder!

Nov 01, 2012 - 2 comments
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Seeing how this is a medical site I think I need to steer my journal more on the focus of my -medical- condition that I live with.  I was born with Autism Syndrome Disorder.  It is a mental disorder which has no treatments available at this time.  So many people wonder why Autism is climbing at record numbers.  I see it as the simple fact that they outlawed the word “retarded” and therefore they have clumped “everyone” who is remotely retarded into the class of Autism.  Just because you have a child that does not learn in school and they send them to special education classes; that does not mean that your child is stupid!  **Retarded does not mean stupid!!**  The true definition of retarded comes from a mechanical origin.  It simply means to slow something down.  Every time you apply the brakes on your car you make it retarded, because you are retarding (slowing) the acceleration of your car.  Your vehicle will still reach it’s top speed with the brakes slightly pressed down, but it will take it longer, thus retarding the vehicle’s accelerating speed; but eventually the momentum of the engine against the transmission will cancel out the brakes entirely if they are only slightly pressed down and the vehicle will reach it’s top speed at a slower rate of acceleration.  Please understand that retarded is NOT a bad word at all!  This will actually help you understand your mentally handicapped children.  Because today I see a lot of people acting out the notion that a child is born disabled and can only learn basics of things they are taught.  They stop encouraging growth when the child reaches a certain age.  Too many parents give up!  But the overall data serves to prove that most Autistic children are slow learners.  I argue exceedingly with the notion of giving up on potty-training when a child reaches an older age.  I was not fully toilet-trained until age sixteen!  It took that long for my brain to develop those skills!  However, at that same time I was secretly growing super intelligent in the area of studying human dynamics.  A unique talent that I have that enables me to understand social life in the human being like most people cannot even dream of knowing!  My Mother never gave up on me and she kept after me on the potty-training and it did come when I was sixteen years old!  At the same time I was failing every grade in school except for English, Music, and Art!  The school board actually reprimanded my Mother and said very very mean things to her because they thought she did not care about my education enough to teach me at home.  Where I grew up there was no Autism.  And if you didn’t learn and obey, then you were just lazy, worthless, and most likely you would grow up to be a criminal.  People like me were seen as evil waiting to happen.  A lazy child was a worthless child.

I also think this is why the syndrome has such a wide variety of levels to it.  But if you get back to the basics of life and remember the older centuries you will note that many retarded people were able to live and function within “normal” society.  I think this is why Autistic people are able to do so well even though most people think Autism is a curse and a life destroying illness.  You note that I said it is a mental disorder.  This is because the Autistic brain does not develop emotional constructs during its growth and therefore the Autistic person is unable to process social protocols naturally on their own.  However, because of this mental retardation inside the brain I have come to think that the brain uses the resources for other actions instead.  Mr. Albert Einstein was seen as an outcast and flunked his studies in school.  However, the moment he turned numbers into pictures inside his imagination he found he could instantly “see” numbers inside his imagination!  This then allowed him to calculate, not with numeric calculations and algorithms, but with visual imaginations within his mind to “see” super long number quadrants as streaming locomotive trains in which he could actively track, categorize, and calculate just as the conductor would log cargo and keep note of where every item aboard the train was stored!

You see Mr. Einstein failed school because they wanted him to do math with his logics processor alone using complex calculations derived from memory of the quotients and their sums when calculated together.  Mr. Einstein could not do that because he was mentally retarded with a super special gift!  He did not add or subtract numbers, he “saw” numbers!  With the vast imagination inside him he could restructure the numbers as easy as moving freight cars around a locomotive train!  He could then *invent* his own quadrants and quotients!  So just because you think someone is entirely retarded does not mean they are stupid: most Higher Functioning Autistics only excel in certain areas and no others; take Dr. Temple Grandin for example.

You see I went through the same things as Mr. Einstein.  Where I grew up those people were still living by the eighteenth century codes of life!  It took meeting my future Wife who believed I was more than a lazy worthless boy to change my inner view of myself.  My Wife comes from a broken home and she was always meddling to fix things and so the instant she saw me in high school the hugest failure in the whole world, overstated, she immediately wanted to help me!  We spent so much time together with her teaching me how to talk and how to socialize and how to use manors, even how to say “Hello” to someone.  From my harsh beginning I was so withdrawn and afraid of people that I would not even talk to them!  Well, my future Wife ended up falling in love with me and she taught me how to kiss and hold hands and then she gave me the greatest Gift ever, True Love!  She taught me how to unlock my heart and use the dormant emotions inside me that had collected dust my whole life!  As it turned out, my emotions were always there the whole time, I just didn’t mentally understand how to use them.  I simply needed to be taught how to use them.  I was just barely good at expressing my emotions at age eighteen!  You see, my future Wife spent three years every afternoon teaching me over and over and over and over.  We spent the whole first year rehearsing only the basics, a whole year!  But by age twenty I had fully developed my emotions, and so asked that meddling little girl if she would marry me and live together forever!  Because she had “fixed” me!  My Wife is the most amazing and wonderful person in the whole universe to me!  To this day she tries to put her past behind her by “fixing” everything around her; and I love her for that! :)

So you see, my growth and development was very very very slow.  That is what retarded means.  Please do not be ignorant to the truth and help of that word when used correctly!  I did not remain without talking and I don’t still wear diapers.  It simply took a slower process for me to develop mentally inside myself to be able to understand how to use the skills and abilities I was born with.  My brain was very very very slow to learn how to use its own self!  But eventually I did learn all those things and much much much more!  I would like to journal, when I can, about that amazing journey which lead me to becoming a high ranked US Military Officer!  I have posted my enlistment papers in a picture on here as proof - name withheld -.  As a matter of national security and the security of my own family I will *never* tell *anyone* online my name or my location or anything about myself that identifies me publicly.  I hope that you respect my wishes and we can still have a wonderful online friendship.  Simply call me “Autistic4Life”.  Because that is who I am and will always be forever and ever!  And I am proud to be Autistic, because Albert Einstein was, Thomas Edison was, and I even see enough proof in the details that King David of the Holy Bible was also!  Look extremely closely at how he fails in every area of social situations in his entire life.  He is found singing to God in a pasture of sheep, and his own Father does not even acknowledge him as his own son!  Read the full account, you’ll see, it’s all there!  On top of that, he never understands how to be a Father to his own children, he loses the kingdom several times in fits of civil unrest because he does not understand how to operate effectively in a social manor with others!  If you really study the life of King David in the Holy Bible you suddenly realize that here is an ancient account of a man displaying all of the hallmarks of Autism Syndrome Disorder, and yet he rises up to be King over all of Israel!  Because he excels at military tactics and strategies, all based upon the principals of pure logic!  He is driven not by emotions but pure logic!  In his mind there is no one greater than God, so logically Goliath must be destroyed no matter how huge he is; because David is driven by his own internal logics not fear!  So read the story again and see the account of a man who lives by his own internal logic and not emotions, and see the account of where it succeeds for him and where it fails for him!  Because I use this Bible account to help me see my own life and where I need to work harder to become more emotional and less logical in certain areas of my life.  Ultimately my own brain thrives on logic!  Ninety-five percent of all of my decisions are logic based.  And so is more than half of all the advice I give on this site.  I have a massive lack of emotions; yet a unique ability to see all of human society through the eyes of logic, as if looking down at us through a microscope!  I can “see” human social dynamic problems and quickly diagnose situations about eighty-five percent of the time.

So I’m going to make a journal on here, as time permits, focusing on the -medical- disorder (as this is a strictly medical content only community, to my understanding thus far) in my life and how I am able to overcome it!  Without overstating my personal details I will give you a look into my growth and development and how I was able to become more than *anyone* ever thought I could!  How I have overcome Autism Syndrome Disability, and you can too!  Free seminar lol, all you have to do is read! :)

Growing Pains - File 002

Oct 24, 2012 - 0 comments
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This follows my first journal entry I made.  This morning I woke up to get a shower and found my feet suddenly taking a bath!  I shut off the water and found a huge mess of my wife’s hair in the drain.  Just about the time I normally get angry and mutter about her being the one who says she’s on top of things- instead I thought back to the lesson from the last argument.  It’s about “US”.  And so I simply unclogged the hair trap and replaced it, without a word about it, simple as that!  Pausing I thought about what may have gone on with the children or other more important cleaning or maybe she was busy making that delicious dinner last night- There’s a whole list of other things that could’ve come up and she simply forgot to unclog the hair catcher after her shower.  I’m finding these simple words repeated and meditated on can spare much chaos inside a marriage!  It’s not your problem- it’s always “OUR” problem.  There is no me and you; only “US!”

That’s my journal entry for now.  My growing pains - and experiences - in my Autistic Life.