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I cant let this ruin my life

Jul 19, 2011 - 0 comments

I wont let my test results ruin my life. Im more then aware that unprotected sex and lead to STD's or worse! But I refuse to believe in the worse case being my case. I've overloaded my brain with STD facts and horror stories over the past 4 days and ENOUGH! I wont live like this. If I have it I have it and I'll deal with it and what I've done I'll deal with it as well. I dont want to be that person always fearing always worrying always crying anymore. I refuse to believe that my life is statistic and I wont believe that my life is coming to a worlds end because of this.

July 18th / The Battle Starts here

Jul 18, 2011 - 0 comments
Tags:

high-risk HPV

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lowrisk hpv

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test

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STDs



As you know Im freaking out that my past partner has GW. I now know what it is and for the most part a little about the 4 "main" strains of it but Im shocked I didnt know this thing was 1. so common 2. cant be tested in men 3. Is the STI that can cause cervical cancer 4. Is like the annoying little brother whom you can send off to china and he will still by blood and papers be your little brother and can even travel back to you if it feels like it. HPV is serious in certain strains Im curious as to what I might have. Im wondering if Im the carrier of the HPV and gave it to him or vice versa. Im pretty sure I will know something more to the point by tomorrow after my doctors appointment But so far I don't have any visible warts and as suck *** I know there could be some on my cervix or vaginal walls and I have exposed as much of kitty as I could see fingers and all. I have had sex vag and oral with him recently and many times unprotected while he was active (little did I know) so why him and not me. Also have had one more partner recently (14th) of this month who Im not sure about their HIV/AID status even if they said they were clean and since then has returned to my old partner unprotected. I know trust me & no one has to beat me up for the simple reason I gave myself the emotional *** beating of my LIFE. I even made my partners aware of all this and trust me thats not an easy task to tell someone you could or could not be HIV positive due to a "questionable status freak out" Every day I plan on writing in my Journal just to relieve the load thats on my mind right now.  I cant express how much more I adore life now. I've started a vitamin attack! zinc, c, multi vitamin, and folic acid. I've stopped smoking since 17th (yesterday) and have not had a drink since 14th! I plan on keeping a positive mind now that I have had my freak out which my question will show evidence of lol but Im sure I'll have a longggggg road ahead of me. Im going to take whatever comes from this and Im hoping for a second chance at life. I hate the waiting game but what can you do about it when time affects the outcome. Well until tomorrow. Good luck and the best to everyone.