oh ! oh !!! oh my!!!!
oh my, medhelp! the godhead has made tonight so magical! the godhead just reached into the sky and the world and the universe for me and made it magic!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
you don't know! you don't know all that happened to me tonight and made me see everything blessed that happened all day!
but I will tell you.
1. I decided, after planning the lessons for tomorrow, to go out to my fave vegan restaurant to have the tofu salad for dinner. mmmm!
2. my therapist, my old T, was sick and could not conference.
3. I brought my New notebook! I got two the other day at the Fancy Market when I got the parking garage guy, Roberto, the cake, for putting in my headlight. on my car!!! jeez. and um ... I got two notebooks for five bucks. this is always a great feeling, getting new notebooks.
4. I brought my new notebook with me to the vegan restaurant. as you may remember, Kevin, one of the owners, and I do not get on that well. He is not shy. I am shy. He does not relate too well with me. but he talks to ALL the other customers. He knows them. He calls all the women "my dear." he's Vietnamese I think
5. the sky was beautiful, with the sun going down
6. I wrote a story. I wrote a story in the vegan restaurant!!!! every time I do my home hike, and other times, by the big tree at the top of my home hike, that's where I say things ... like prayers ... for all of you .. by name. Even you, hustler. I pray that you can be human to be for just one moment. and I pray that you will be content, and happy. I pray last for myself, that I can stay clean, that I can value being clean for myself, that I can be happy and stay healthy and that my writing will come back to me. that I will write regularly and do it with dedication and start to send out and publish.
7. I love the story. I love the story! it is more of a long prose piece than a plot story
8. I ate my salad. it was real dope.
9. when I left, Kevin said, "are you done, my dear?' and he gave me a box bc I did not finish the salad. its big.
10. I saw all the wonderful things that had happened today:
Alexa told me in the morning, after me worrying that Liliana would report me again, that she will back me "100 perecent" with the director. As far as she is concerned, Im doing great, especially under the circumstances, and Lil is unreasonable.
the class went great. they were really into it. I planned the same as I always do but it went great. I was as underconfident as always but it went great. I made a lot of jokes and they laughed at them and we all laughed a lot. Liliana and I even laughed TOGETHER at Trouble Girl. (gently) I had told them I was dismissing them five minutes early cuz I had to go to an appointment, and TG was surfing the net about spas I guess and she blurted out, "you are going to spa?" Liliana looked at me and we burst out laughing. "No, I am not going to a spa, Zena!' I said
we talked about rap even tho Lil wasn't interested I talked about it with the Saudi boys and Zena who is closer to my age but loves Snoop. we joked about him and I said he was getting soft and all he ever does is smoke pot but I still love him. the boys are wild about talking about weed.
Alexa and I made plans for the morning in case I have to go to court via vm and email. and text. After I got done eating my salad I saw a vm from Alexa. she was so kind. I almost cried. She said that she hopes it all goes as smoothly as possible and she will help me in any way she can if she has to cover my class or whatever. she has been there for me more than Chula.
Lit emailed me. That boy is with me through thick and thin. He is 17 years younger than I am. he is with me like a faithful hound dog waiting at the door. I ignore his emails, I snap at him, he is still there. today with the, "i hope you are doing ok." and he calls me by my other nickname, which I love as well. he is golden, not sterling
Roberto, the parking garage guy, talks to me every morning .. he is so very kind. on the card I gave him with the cake I wrote that I was getting divorced, how I appreciate him helping me out ... he told me he thinks I have such a great attitude, even with it being hard right now. he knows I am a teacher, he talks to some of Alexa's students, the two boys who stayed after one time to talk to me. they are so sweet ... today Roberto told me sadly that he had to stop going to college. he is cool, nice to talk to every morning
I have a new job. I really want the books.
I got almost 200 dollars more in alimony each month than he had been paying, for three years, 1/2 of a big deal of his, and he will pay two of my bills he has been paying until the end of 2015
the night was beautiful. the sky was beautiful.
KCRW music is so amazing it is such a gift to listen to it
to be here on the planet
all the horrible things happening in the world, it is a gift to live this free and well every second
on the way upstairs to my apartment in the magical night I ran into Josh. I had been ticked at him bc I saw him about a month ago when I was coming down on a high and I was angry and I had food in my hand and I felt bad about it.
he was going into the elevator, his ear buds on,. he took them off. he said 'HEY Meegy how you doing? I never see you no more" I said 'ya ... I wrote a story!" Josh is my only writing community right now he's a screenwriter. he said "look at you!: " I was beaming. I touched his arm. and I squeezed his upper arm, I know huh! it was just so natural seeming ... he's kind of hot
he was happy. happy to see me and happy I was touching him.
he said ' I almost came over and knocked, Meegy, you never come out of your apartment! I bet you heard me last night up to my usual old ways!"
I heard him but I did not realize he was getting it on and I said "well good for you, playuh!"
we had a nice talk, I was telling him about my story.
I might get it typed tonite cuz I wrote it longhand maybe I could post it and re post the Raf story. if that ok with everyone ... aw weel c huh?
its all good
I love you!
I love you medhelp!