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fetty wap

Aug 02, 2015 - 2 comments

aw, wake up Meegy I think i got a couple things to say to you

omg Power is doing this oldies riff and they're playing "Shorty"  this is such a good song

i've spent a good deal of the morning perseverating about Trap Queen and its 'meanings'

im confused.  i thought a trap queen was a good thing????? its a bich who is down for her man no matter what and loves ... well, you know ::blushing::  rappers make me blush ... ha ha ha!  um.  'showed her how to whip it introduce her to my stove"  urban claims 'stove' means d*ck.  not!  i think its about cooking coke.  anyway who knows?  clearly this is a worthwhile use of my time

so some sources say a trap queen holds you back in a bad way.  some say she holds you down like she's down for you


IDK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



i just know i love Fetty Wap he is SO sexy and handsome and i love the 'flaw' of his glaucoma eye (which i heretofore will call his 'glock eye'  ha!)   i love his body too  OH!  and i love his song

seriously though i first got into him b/c of his voice.  i kept hearing that song and his voice and like "who IS that?  i love that voice'  then i look it up and its hot azz Fetty Wap!  omg im so down


um.  so one of my favit lines in the song besides "she aint wantin for nothing b/c i got her everything!"  which i LOVE to mimic it is so dope ... literally ... is the line

"i'll run in your house
and ill f*ck your ho"

i've never been clear on ht spell ho.  hoe?  is it like the garden tool

oh spit man


I LOVE how Fetty takes the off beat on 'ill fukk your ho'  and sings it off the beat that is SO COOOL!


i have to work out

its Sunday

I don't get to eat a big breakfast no more b/c

i dont got no one to cook for me

um


hi.  My name is Meegy and i am ready for you to cook me breakfast.

ok don't be nasty mh, not like that!!!

but that will do, too.

Im CLEAN!


imagine what i'd be like high ....!!!!!


good morning medhelp

love,

yor

Meegy

anti-mindful

Aug 01, 2015 - 0 comments

you know what i like about popcorn?

no, what Meegy?

besides the fact that its not dirt-grown (or whatever), derived from kale, or eaten from a freakin MASON JAR???

actually i think it could be dirt grown

but only if its organic ... and i DONT buy organic popcorn

why?

bc im poor thats why

oh.  so what do you like about it?

well.  i forgot to say want to know what i like BEST about it?

no Meegy.  tell us (they cried)

ok, here it is----   I like that its meant to be SHOVED IN YOUR MOUTH and gobbled greedily not eaten freakin MINDFULLY!

ummmm, Meegy?

What?

are you ok?



i had a ok day but i'm still emotionally detoxing from the last day of skule, saying good bye to Frankie ...and everyone.  but most the students are coming back just not Frankie.    so ... ya

and i remembered the true origin of the fist bump from Frankie:  we were sitting with a few other kids at a picnic table outside where the kids usually eat lunch but on Field Day  / Carnival days we all eat out there .... and when my student wanted to ride the tricycle Frankie told her he'd make a video of her on her fone  ...

so he did.  and i am telling you mh i can think of only ONE time when Frankie got obnoxious in front of his friend with me and  he asked me if my hair looked like Luda's when i brush it out and flip upside down and then back up again ... you know from that old Luda fro video?   it was actually super funny in retrospect but at the time i felt dissed ... it was when i was first working there

anyway i have NEVER experienced Frankie being rude to me or anyone else ... besides that one time ... and at the end of the video he goes ... ostensibly to me, but since i am often half out of it i did not interpret it as addressing me ... he goes "is she a badazz?  she's a badazz!"  but it sounded VERY much like he was saying "fat-azz" and she is overweight, not a lot but some?  ya.  i just HOPED i had misheard him and when she listened to it she got upset (i dont blame her) ... they went into the classroom and i guess she kneed him in the groin (not too violently i assume since he hopped right back outside)

and i asked him a couple of times what he said .. then i said ... did you say "bad azz?"  and he said, 'Yeh" and i said "say it again so i can hear how it sounds"  and he said "naw, I'd get kneed"  and he said "are you going to chew me out now?"  and i said "yeah!"  and i held up both my fists as if i was boxing and that was when he fist bumped me.  HA HA HA!

i love Frankie.  sorry even if he was rude which i dont THINK he was being to the girl but theres a chance.  sometimes he does get sort of cocky but not often

i went to my AA meeting.  I took my chip ... the laydeez hadn't remember and it was summin else's 31 year bday but i upstaged her cuz everyone cheered and hooted when i put up my index finger real unassumingly like "i do"  (have nine months) and ALL the laydeez personally congratulate me in they shares ... they really love me and i can feel the love and i know its genuine and that is a big huge step for me

in the pass i would have thot they was all fakers and haters like 16

too bad, 16!

lol

uh


i talked to summin from AA on the fone later she said she'd call me and it was a very good convo. s he is super
(Josie)

i still felt somewhat sad all day and despite my really good feelings a lot of the day on many days i still get SO many feelings (help!  im having feelings) and i have been sad a lot lately over the ac, Ryan and my fokes not calling me or my sibs

i just remember calling them from the mental hop and my moms was like "DON"T YOU KNOW we're moving????"  and my dad said "how could you DO this to us?"

um



i sorted through a lot of my boxes ... im down to about 30 from 60 which is grate.  i cleared my 'living room' and i ony have ten boxes and they are stacked against the wall now so i can use my table to pile mail on again and books and notebooks

its ridic to think im not a writer ... im just not a published writer which i mean to change .. .and its ridic to say i have no stories bc sorting through these boxes i have SO MANY notebooks (where are my notebooks?  what about notebooks?  what is that line. ... i forget ... rr?)  (might as well rake em all over the coals this j meegy!  ok)  and stories, finished and unfinished its not even funny

of course i found a lot of really difficult things like my honeymoon pitchers, notes, love notes from him, cards, cards from my step daughter when she still loved me ...

and i started thinking again about how the ac cheated on me BEFORE we were married and conceived my step son.  really dum of me to marry him and everyone told me that too

(he cheated with his ex wife ... we were living together and engaged at the time ...)



eh


eh




i was sort of sad and really tired alls day but i feel better now its night.

i know a lot of places shred for a small fee (dude, let's shred!)  but the thing is i wanted to circumvent that step so i tore up a lot of old bills and personal info i no longer need (i have stacks and boxes of old papers)  (i used to meticulously record and save all my stubs from bills!)  and i took one big box out on the balcony and poured water on it, figuring it would blur all the numbers.  it didn't.  it just made everything wet.

ooh Tom (my boss) you're making me so wet!

oops.  sorry.  public forum right?

right Meegy


ya so in terms of MY emotional development .. i started using drugs when i was around twelve or thirteen ... and i have 9 mos clean ... i think i've advanced to the emotional maturity of a sixteen year old!

ok, fourteen!

leave me alone!



i gotta bounce.  i might come back in a little


ty for being so amazing to me, mh!!!! i am astonished!!!!!!

and i love you dearly

yor

Meegy

ice cream sunday!

Jul 31, 2015 - 5 comments

dear msd, jj, noni, spide, lesa, top jimmy, jada, bella, and breezy and EVERYONE on mh who supports me alls the time:

I LOVE YOU!!!!

ty for your incredible amazing and fannnnnnnnnnnnntabulous support!!!!


i love my AA laydeez but MH IS BETTER
i love tambam and nance but MH IS BETTER
i love my students but MH IS BETTER
i love my Group People but MH IS BETTER
i love my T's but MH IS BETTER

YAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


YAY MH!!!!!

(cept boo on haters who bust pure hate and make ppl fight for their right to parrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr TEE!)


you wake up late for skule and you dont wanna GO
you ask your mom PLEEZ but she still sez NO
miss two classes and no homework ...



your mom threw away your best porno mag!  (busted)

THA BEASTIES



ok that had nothing to really do with how great you are MH but i thought id throw that in and r.ip. Adam Y we love you baby


um hi


welp, so know how i tolded you i got on the scale and it had gone down?  wull ya i put on several pairs of pants and jeans that FIT!  i could tell right away that they went right over my BOOM BOOM hips!  a lot eeezier

YEAY baby!!!!!

thats what im talkin bout


so i will go back to my 45 cardio and 3x a week weights b/c i had not worked out 3 days in a rowski!

i know



today we wented on a feld trap to tha DAM

its this watering hole for the barrio and it is super rank

but we had a good time.  the kids were good and they loved going in the pool which is the weirdest pool you ever seen its like ... deep in tha middle and like wading at either side or something?  i shore dont get it. but the keds all been there like 1000x and they love it

and its been built into a nice place but its still ghetto sorry not trying to be rood

and like

alls i could remember was almost the ZACT spot i had been there with Lit years ago and i -- and we--  in the car ... ya


um



so ya!

anyway


your a dirty girl Meegy

YEA



thas me



mmm hm


so uh

what elset?


see.  the day was coolish but i still got super hot and was like a total sweaty mess by the time we got back to skule .  and of course those fukkers been making us stay til like 4 pm every day it is so evil  ... it aint right

but tomorry the LAST DAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


this morning as i told you a lil about Trayvon came into my room and plopped himself down in a seat.  well he didnt plop cuz he's this tall fine looking kid and he moves like nobody's bidness but still.   at first mh belee you me i was REALS temp TED to chew him out for not coming to class the WHOLE SUMMER and then try to walk in the penutimetttt dayski and like STROLL onto the feld trap!


but it aint my decizzy if he go on the feld trap who me????? im just the teacher

and i was like telling myself "Dog, take it.  Let him on in"


then i am like ok IMA GET Trayvon and i  just pulled out ALL The stops.  Rolando came in to visit and he was playing that old song bright liked and me go "give a dam like WHAT WHAT???"  and i was singing along with it its by Prollem and like Tray just popped his eyes open at me like ?????????  and Rolando is like 'are you kidding Tray Miss Meegan KNOWS rap!"  and Tray was like sure right

and then they was talking about music and this girl in my class put on some dumb funky spit idk like little poppy girls and she go "can i make the music louder Miss Meegan?"  an i sed "ya but please make it hip hop or rap"  and i saw Tray raise his eyebrows but you know he wont look direk at me

then i ax him a couple question but he wont really talk to me but mumble and though im deaf i go close so i can hear him and he does answer me

i walk over to this huge stack of extra work i let the keds do for extra credit and Tray's empty journal and i said "If you want to pass the class and make up all the work Tray you can write in this entire journal and do all this work.  you can turn it in anytime."  

i was sort of kidding but i'd take it if he did it but he just mumble 'aite' and still dont look at me.  he slouching his long legs in the chair and got his music in his ears but one out he can hear me

Rolando and I talk about rap, Tray just cut his eyes sideways at us

but on the bus i sit alone, Rolando sit acrost and one seat down and behind him Tray.  and Tray keep on looking at me he loves showboating and being the center of attn i know this cuz i watched him that one time and he loves cars i know this cuz i listened to him on the yard and he start talkin about the car races in Compton every saturday or something and how many ppl go and how dope it is


but i just look, i can see Tray keep checking am i looking or listening and we make a little eye contact

Tray is so busy showing off to his friends that he dont eat the food and Miss Isolde is p'o'd she is a tough cookie and tell Tray he dont get to eat ... she wont open the box of chips for him and got no more chicken wraps

all the way on the bus back to skule Tray cutting sad eyes all over the place can i eat Miss Isolde and she is tough like 'NO NO NO!  Tray i aint opening no food for you! you shoulda ate before!"

and i know Tray should have and she right bc i see hes a cut up but i still like him


earlier in my class Hayden had been talking "would you eat a human Miss Meegan for money?"

i said no money is not that important to me

and Tray go "WHA?"  thats the first thing he said direk to me "Money is the most important thing in the world you cant have nothing without money!"

i said "what about love?"

he is like 'DOH!  you living in a fairy tale!"

i said "well its just that if you're so young and you have already had a lot of hard experiences in life, Tray  it makes you more cynical"

he aint say nothing



so laters we walking back onto the yard when we get off the bus after the trip and Isolde put the box of chips on the table that still has some left in it she say no one can have it its going back into the cupboard

but Tray and another boy i adore, the tall, stocky kid who said he missed having me as a teacher, come on our heels they just following the chips!  right into the skule kitchen "Miss Isolde can we have the chips"

NO NO NO she say

and i grab two and while she turned around i put one in Tray hands and one in the other boy's

they go out the boy who i know a lot says ty

and then Tray go out but he turn aroun and come back in and "Thank you, Miss Meegan!"


CHA CHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  score one for finally getting to Trayvon!!!!!!!!!!!!!  i see you in the Fall little fella





ya  that was good.  and Jessie sat by us and the Limbo kid talked my ear off the entire time


Jesse aint talk just sit there with his long blond hair in his little Nirvana shirt.  i told him long time ago i love that shirt.  its one with a pitcher of Krist Dave and Kurt you've seen it


then at Group ... well mh i had talked so much last week about Ryan you know they hate him sight unseen and thank he stupid

yeh



and then ... like ... ok so in group like ALLLS these guys gasped when i said i thought Ryan thought i was old, ugly and fat.  one guy who was not there last week was like 'WHAT????"

they is our age mh



and then one of the same guy who tell me how me baring my soul and my honesty in Group has help him SO much (they is all marry tho cept one guy he's a 30s guy and idk about him he is nice tho)  he say AGIN how much he like Meegy and he say "Meegy I see you as pretty, attractive, and Young!"  (he's oller)  and he say "and i'm pretty sure every man in here would say the same thing!"

OMG mh!  i was so embarrass.  and the guys all kind of like grunted their assent and i try not to really hear it you know or defer the satisfaction i got from it but it real felted good and it was like, i mean it sounded like they meanted it!!!!! it was pretty dope



and i love my laydeez in there too



and THEN!

i call Tambam on the way home from Group and go "im sorry i was mean im not mad at you and i feels better"

and she say "come over and i will make you a ice cream sundae"
and i do
but just had 2 bites of sunnay cuz i want to keep this body!  bay bay


and we talk

and tambams two sons are there and even tho Tbam dont get along with the oller one who is hi function autistic (they bof is the two sons)  he is super smart and a lot of fun and his gf there and we all talk and have a good old time and tbams younger son who is 20 whom i know well hug on me a lot bc he is SO sweet and he likes when i come over and he say "are you ok?  come here, baby, give me some sugar" and he kiss me on top of my head!

and i saw Lola the dog

it was a good night


and i drove tbam to the store b/c she wasnt wearing any shoes and she wanted cigs and the guy who worked at the store was INCREDIBLY CUTE!  but Tbam said he was closer to 25 than 30 which is too young and he was a tall slender Middle Eastern guy omg so handsome and i flirted with him like a lot

he was quite charming


and


we might or might not go to Yosemite we're going to decide by tomorrow at midnight



and i am still sad that my folks and family don't ker about me nun and the ac dont but Tambam said let's focus on the people who love you like me and oh everyone

i said ok


i love you mh


goodnight!

i am ded beet tar!


yor

clean!

Meegy

almost 9 mos





car cookies

Jun 28, 2015 - 5 comments

do my journals do NOTHING anymore?  do my journals do nothing to Teach, to Inspire, to Entertain?   How can i go on knowing that these serve NO purpose other than to provide the mouthpiece for the pontificating, idealistic, rhetorical, pseudo-intellectual, left-wing, bleeding heart liberal, albeit sexy MEEGAN W PAW

??????????????????????????????????????????

aka Meegy
aka Meegy Wim
aka Meegan Wimble Lin
aka Meegan Wimbelin
???????????????


omg



Heat.  i have one more word for you medhelp and that is

Heat

ok many more words


1.  it's 123 degrees outside.  is there a little degree symbol. ?  where are special characters?  i hate pcs

don't be a hater, Meegy
stfu

2.  i cleaned the bathoom!

3.  NO!  the ENTIRE bathroom:  the toilet, the shower (yes i was developing spores ... i mean the tiles were!  gah medhelp im not THAT much of a dirty girl!  back off!), the vanity, the sink the EVERYTHING it looks GRATE

4.  i went through ONE HUGE box

5.  and put a bunch of clothes in plastic bags to give away:  a million tiny pairs of pants that i once thought i would get into again.  HA HA HA!  your funny Meegy

6.  ty

7.  i gave away a bunch of bears.  i just had SO many.  but i kept four that i had had in storage.  ill take a pitcher mh esp for nn

8.  i took the huge box and broke it down and put it in the dumpster

9.  i said Dumpster

10.  i did laundry (again)

11.  idk i just have a lot of dirty clothes b/c i work out alls the time

12.  and im a dirty girl

13.  you Are, Meegy

14.  ty

15.  i made a killer bean and cheese burrito for lunch (home made!)

16.  there were exactly three (3) texts betwen me and Ryan yesterday.  one was initiated by him in the a.m. it said "happy weekend im taking a nap"  ( or something; i told you this already) and i replied "im about to work out, have a good nap you know where to find me"  and then at midnight i texted him goodnight with a pitcher of a tent and the stars from pc's old emoticon symbols liberry (i figured the pitch a tent thing would be like subliminal seduction) (nothing about your seduction practices is subliminal Meegy)  (shut up! )

17.  Ryan did not text me back goodnight or good morning

18.  in stead, i just got a text from him.  its 4pm here (and 123 degrees out).  it said "Did i send you the elephant story?"

19.  yes.  this is one of my current 'love interests'

20.  i have been praying to God for acceptance about Ryan alls day

21.  do you think it is possible to have a hart attak from a tight bra strap b/c i know the doctor told me i am not at risk for a stroke or a heart attack but ive been having pain right where my bra underwire is for two days and i think maybe i am about to drop dead

22.  maybe your bra is too tight Meegy

23.  naw.  im dying

24.  we're all dying, Meegy




SO< the new name of the game in ellay woopay is ICE!


ice, ice baby



you MUST treat the heat with ICE

its SO hot out


i am keeping my cookies in the car (i know it sounds dirty but its not !!!!)  so i dont binge on sugar and when i went out to put the clothes in the trunk to give away i tried to get a cookie but the plastic was melted shut on the ziploc bag


I did manage to get out a cookie though

Ill bet you did, Meegy

Hey, stop looking at my cookie!!!!

okay it was 2

and I ate them already!

so you cant have em!

you cant either Ryan!

too bad Meegy


love,

yor

Meegy