Turns out I'm positive for anti beta 2gp1 antibodies which could be affecting the implantation process etc. For my FET I'm taking baby aspirin and Lovenox, as well as estrogen and progesterone. I'm hoping that this'll make the difference.

Yesterday I saw my gynecologist... she confirmed my miscarriage on 28/03/12... I was 9 weeks pregnant but as I was told a few weeks ago I'd miscarry (I think this is called a missed miscarriage)... my beta hcg was 15 yesterday. I don't really know at what stage the embryo stopped growing... I expect it stopped pretty early on or was only partially growing due to my very low beta hcg level which only rose slightly between blood tests. The pains were awful, they felt more like contractions (although I'm not sure as I've never had a baby) and lasted maybe 10 to 20 seconds each time they came... every 5 - 10 minutes. And the back pain was horrendous. The worst was the night before I miscarried and then the morning of the 28th (I passed the pregnancy tissue shorlty after around midday... at home, alone). After this happened the pains seemed to lessen a little, but still thay were like bad period cramp. After this it's like I've had a really heavy period, losing lots of blood. It's very draining. My doctor said it's better that this happens as it means everything should be expelled. I will have another beta hcg test next week to check my level is negative and then a scan in a few weeks to check all is ok.

Today (2 days since my m/c) I just feel tired, drained and a little sick (I think it's the grief that's causing the sickness). The physical pain is bearable, the emotional pain less so. I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy.

My beta only ever went up to 151, then last week my beta started dropping and I started to have light brown spotting which lasted from Wednesday to Sunday... then as of Monday I started to get more reddish blood, mixed with cervical type clear mucus. Last night (Tuesday) the cramps from HELL arrived... I get painful periods but these are nothing compared to these cramps! Bleeding got heavier, and horrendous back pain too. I took pain killers and went to bed early. Then this morning it started again, terrible pains which are followed by blood clots and whitish grey stringy tissue being passed... I believe this is the miscarriage. I would have be 8½ weeks pregnant... although my beta levels were so low the embryo must have died several weeks ago. Nothing prepared me for the pain... the emotional pain has been hard to cope with, but now the physical pain too is awful. I am home alone, hubby is at work and I don't live near my family/good friends who know about this. I see my gynecologist tomorrow...

My beta today is 59?! So in two days it's gone from 48 to 59... the hospital called and said I had to go in. Dr gave me a scan today but saw nothing... she said I was still pregnant but the hcg was totally abnormal and I am going to miscarry. I am so sad. I knew that but was hoping all the same for a miracle. I asked when should I expect to see sign of miscarriage and she was so rude to me, said "I don't know that but if it pleases you I could give you a date but it probably won't be then." I asked how long I would have to wait after miscarrying before we could try IVF again, this was her response in a haughty voice "you haven't even miscarried with this pregnancy yet so we can't possibly take about what will happen afterwards"... except she'd just told me I will have a miscarriage. All this and more in a matter of fact tone of voice and then she had to dash off in an emergency and left me to get dressed and digest everything she'd just thrown in my face. I started to cry... I had to come out of the office and walk across a packed waiting room with tears rolling down my face, people were staring at me... I really don't think she has an ounce of compassion. I was so upset and so angry. I have to have another beta fri... and just get on with it. I still have pregnancy symptoms (sore breasts) and no bleeding. I feel so alone.