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Sigh...

Feb 13, 2012 - 0 comments
Tags:

cutting

,

depressed

,

friends

,

butterfly



It bugs me that my best friend wants to cut and I'm a recovering cutter and I tell her I'm trying to keep from cutting but so many people keep mentioned that they want to cut (and don't even consider the fact that I'm trying to KEEP from cutting and all they're doing is condoning it) and she says "You have to be strong, you're always the strong one"
Well ****! I hate being the strong one for multiple people...why can't someone be the strong one for me. I want people to care about me yet I don't even feel like I can get that. I'm not asking for attention, just for someone to notice when I'm upset or depressed. I write a status on Facebook about how I'm feeling and barely even get one person to acknowledge how I might be feeling but when my friend does, she gets a lot of recognition. My other friend said she wanted to draw a butterfly on her arm for my friend who wanted to cut and for some reason that got me because I wish someone would say that for me...oh well, guess I'll just need to get over the fact that I won't really have someone who'll truly show how much they actually care.

Damn stomach...

Oct 17, 2011 - 0 comments
Tags:

scared

,

Stomach

,

Anxiety

,

sleep

,

night

,

body

,

pills

,

morning after pill

,

stomach problems



My stomach was killing me at 1 this morning. :/ I'm kinda guessing it was from the morning after pill I took friday afternoon. But idk...I'm sincerely hoping so >:/ My stomach is feeling better today but my anxiety is still the same. I literally felt like I was gonna die last night when trying to sleep. I almost started shaking and I was freezing, stomach was killing me and uggggg. I kept getting this weird feeling all over my body and it scared me @#$%less D;

Anxiety/Panic Tracker

Scared @#$%less D;

Oct 16, 2011 - 0 comments
Tags:

Anxiety

,

Depression

,

pregnant

,

pills

,

sex

,

Love

,

test



Me and my boyfriend had unprotected sex (we haven't had sex for a couple+ months) and i was freaking out today wondering if I could end up pregnant. So I went to planned parenthood to get the morning after pill. I also had a prego test but don't know the results yet :/ Afterwards, me and my boyfriend were heading to his house and we got into a fight. He made me feel like ****....said he felt like I didn't appreciate him and it sounded like he was hinting that I could care less about him which is total BS! I @#$%^& love him! I just have the hardest way of showing it because I can be a bit** at times. :/ I really hate the way I act towards him. My anxiety and depression is messing up my relationship so much and i don't know how to fix it. Things got better,of course. We're on good terms now. I'm gonna try my best to be better for him. I can already tell he's the one for me :)

Anxiety/Panic Tracker

Loud Noises

Oct 13, 2011 - 0 comments

While sleeping, kept hearing loud noises outside. I woke up and stared at my small window by my bed and out of nowhere, I could have sworn I saw a big flash...like a light went off or something. It scared me so bad that I jumped out of bed and looked out my bigger window behind my bed. I saw that the moon was bright and it was extremely windy. I checked my smaller window and saw no light except the one from the moon. I kept checking my bigger window to make sure nothing was going on. My anxiety was at its highest now. I was shaking, couldnt concentrate, my heart was racing...i was straight up scared ********. The wind is blowing really hard right now and my anxiety is going up again. Now that stupid pins and needles feeling is there. Great. And I have to wake up in 2 hrs to get ready for class. :/ I hate anxiety.

Anxiety/Panic Tracker