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Sleep an Issue

Apr 11, 2012 - 0 comments

I've just run out of my Neurontin & it's too early to approach doc about a refill. I still can't sleep without it!! And, for some reason - I've been all hyper for the last few days. It's just a case of waiing for the crash...

Ups and Downs

Apr 09, 2012 - 0 comments
Tags:

Addiction

,

painkillers

,

Depression



I haven't disappeared - just trying to keep busy! Joined a creative writing group today. (Now need to actually do some creative writing!!) Looking to join book groups too. Am still exercising & eating healthily. Still just feel really crap sometimes. Self-esteem plummets. I get irritable. And depressed. But - busy is good. I'm alternating between manic & what I call "crashing". A lot.

Doing So-So

Apr 05, 2012 - 1 comments
Tags:

Addiction

,

painkillers

,

withdrawal

,

temptation



Anger at the world & everyone in it seems to be back with a vengeance. Today I sent a complaining letter to my bank. Doubt it'll do any good, but it felt good to actually be angry at someone deserving of it!

Still exercising regularly, trying to watch my diet & I've been attending evening church services all week. I'm also trying to avoid people who make me question my self-worth r who will make me feel jealous & irritated.

Some days I don't feel like I'm doing great, then others I do feel great. Well, Rome wasn't built in a day...

Friends - Time to Cut My Losses?

Apr 01, 2012 - 0 comments
Tags:

Addiction

,

isolation

,

Depression

,

painkillers



And, once again my friends - sorry, make that "friends" - prove to me how little I mean to them. I already went into it in a post, so I won't relay the whole sorry tale again.And I get it - I let them down time and time again, so I shouldn't expect them to jump for joy with opn arms just because I'm clean, but it still hurts. It makes my whole effort seem rather worthless.

And ll I want is a magic pill to take away the pain. Oh, O know it's not physical pain - but, I always found emotioal pain harder to deal with... I want numbed.