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Day 4

Jun 04, 2012 - 0 comments
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Addiction



Day 4. God, I wish I could wake up and it be 4 years ago. A time before I let opiates take over my life. Granted, I have been taking pain pills for 14 years. But the first decade I was on a relatively small dosage. My script allowed 6 Lortab a day. Most days I wouldn't take even half that. Then I found a diff Dr.  He changed and increased my meds, and my life rapidly spun out of control. It feels like everything I do, everyday, revolves around me snorting 30's up my nose. I am so ashamed. This isn't me.  I want to be healed. I want to kick this ugly ****** habit so bad. I'm scared too, though. I am  scared of the pain and debilitating exhaustion that I will be left with after the narcotics have left my body. God, please help me with this. Please ease my suffering. Please miraculously cure me.

day 0

May 17, 2012 - 0 comments

I want to quit so badly. Last time I quit was horrible. Even after the withdrawls. My body ached, hurt SO BAD. Even after 2 months, I was still in agony and SO FATIGUED. That was 2 years ago, and now I take more oxy than I did then. My addiction has hurt my relationship with my husband and it has turned me into a lazy, lying, manipulative person. I don't recongnize the person I used to be nor the person I've become. How do I quit?