I'm proud to announce the launch of my new website, MyVirtualShrink.com.

This program is all about positive mental health.
I started working on this program for over three decades ago when I first committed myself to the ambitious goal of translating the wisdom of psychiatry into an educational program for everyone that is accurate, accessible and affordable.

Having conducted the mental health forum here on MedHelp for four years, I have found myself so often recommending psychotherapy to people struggling with the side effects of medications that were not even helping their anxiety and depression.  So many of these members were prescribed medications only because they could not afford the psychotherapy they needed, or because of the stigma that still exists that prevents primary care doctors from recommending psychotherapy.

I believe I have created a viable alternative for this large segment of our medical population.

I encourage anyone who is feeling distressed or is ready to face problems  to visit the site and build themselves a  free plan to grow and feel better. That in itself will be of some immediate benefit, and set the stage for more if more is desired at that time.

You will have an opportunity to exercise your "mind muscle" in real time with real problems, and simultaneously decrease the tension in your life. You may ask "how can this be?" Here's how it works.

You start the program because some aspect of your life is not working or you have symptoms like anxiety or depression.  The very first thing we do is help you find the source of your stress.

The unresolved problems that sit in our head cause tension. It could be work, family, relationships or just old self doubts or vague worries or things about yourself you vow to change but never do. In one way or another your mind works on these problems even after you have put them out of your mind temporarily. Until we put the problem to rest, in one form or another, it is tension producing.

The "Thinking" Muscle
We take you through what we call Guided Thinking Sessions to help you think through what you could do that you are not already doing, or doing enough. The key here is to think it through and continue to explore options in a systematic and thoughtful way, something that most people simply can't do on their own without getting lost along the way in the emotions that are aroused. Every time we take you through this step by step problem solving sequence, you will be exercising a very important mental muscle. You will be sorting out facts from what you want to believe. You will be deciding whether certain expectations are reasonable or unreasonable, whether you have reacted or over-reacted in a particular situation, and much more. You will be exercising the highest part of your intelligence in order to understand and modulate your emotional mind. This is how you take charge of yourself.

When you completed one of our guided sessions you will see written on the monitor several things you can do to resolve the problem. You now have moved the problem from the back of your head to the surface of your mind and are actually seeing your own intention to act, which in and by itself will give you some relief from stress. Your consciousness will have been upgraded. You will have practiced reality testing and self honesty. You will have answered hard questions that we have helped to formulate, the kind that I would have asked you in my office. In other words, you will have used the best part of your mind and you will feel good about yourself because in just twenty minutes or so you will have done the work you needed to do to take care of yourself.

The "Acting in the World" Muscle
The next point in the journey is to either act or decide not to act on the potential solutions you generated. The thinking work done during the guided session was preparation for action in the world. Thinking about it is not enough. You have to carry out some experiment in order to find the resting spot for whatever is bothering you.

Deciding to act is another part of the mind muscle. Action is public, generates a response from others, and sends a ripple through relationships. Since every action has some degree of risk, intending to act sends up worry flags in your brain and recruits old fears and self doubts which get mixed into and confused with real risk factors that have to be weighed and sorted out in order to make a good judgment about how, when, or even whether to act on any of the options generated in the thinking through session.

It's the old outdated fears and self doubts that usually make us fearful of taking appropriate and useful action. And it's that which we help you master.

We focus heavily on the action decision, particularly on the hesitancy to act on something that you know is in your best interest to do, like talking to someone about an important issue or changing a behavior habit or attitude that does not serve you well. This is where you practice a higher form of reality testing and come to know the imagery of your irrational fears occupying the theater of your own mind. This is where you challenge your own self doubts and expand the right to express or be yourself.

The "Insight" Muscle
When you carry out some of your options you may experience a completely successful outcome or you may have only moved yourself one step closer to the goal you are seeking. In either case you will have experienced a sense of mastery which will build self-confidence in the present as well as for future instances of similar problems. You will have learned more about yourself and the world you live in.

If the action you did simply did not work you will have learned something about yourself or the people you are engaged with.

Even if you decide not to act because after sleeping on it you decided it was not a good idea you will be building self confidence in your judgment. Deciding not to act for good reasons is just another way of being in charge.

In all cases you will learn something when you work through the decision to act. We help you capture and reinforce what you learned so you can review and remember the valuable insights generated by your experience. You will actually learn the most when you explore the hesitancy to act when you know what you intend to do is clearly the right thing to do.

You'll be able to see on the screen the words that represent the fears in the back of your mind. You'll see the insights you need to remember in order to dismantle those irrational fears in future situations. Each time we help you identify them you will be clearing your head of old cobwebs, making room for a healthier and more expansive engagement with your own life.

Conclusion
I've tried to illustrate both what we do and how it will help you as we guide you through the journey from stress to stress-reducing problem resolution. At each step of the way we help you build your confidence and your skills and your ability to take charge of yourself and your life. The more you do this, the healthier you become.

This is what we psychiatrists do in our office…we help people have conversations with themselves, about themselves, and about how their mind really works. I have tried to create an online experience that does the same thing, but with a “virtual” psychiatrist. I like to think that after thirty years of practice I know, and can offer, the right questions. That’s my part. Your part is to “listen” to yourself answer. That’s how you can have an honest conversation with yourself..the only pathway to real mental health.

This program is hard work sometimes, but remember, it's about you, and your mind muscles....and about living a much fuller and more satisfying life.

I hope you’ll visit the site whenever you are in need of help.

Many people worry that they are too old to lose weight. Their health might be suffering and even a slight drop in weight can make a huge difference but they argue that "you can't teach an old dog new tricks." I have had patients in my practice and members of my online program succeed at losing weight even when they're in their sixties and seventies because they finally got the right information to lose the weight.

If diets have failed you in the past, you probably haven't had the right information. Diets alone don't work. What works is understanding emotional eating. Emotionally eating means all the aspects of using food for comfort, reward or as a form of self-medication.

People worry that their overeating pattern is so ingrained that it can never be changed. People worry that if they do lose the weight that their skin will hang and the world will know that they were once fat. People worry that they just won’t be able to bear another failure.

It is NEVER too late.

In the best stories, in the eleventh hour someone shows up and no matter how many times they failed before, we cheer. It’s just that the person you’re waiting to show up for you, is you.

It’s NEVER too late to show up for yourself. With the right information you can lose the weight.

Begin to become aware of the ways that you have been using food to deal with feelings. If you can see your pattern you can stop it. Observing yourself is a great way to start making a change, no matter what your age. If your observation of yourself leads you to understand that you've been using food to numb yourself, you can come to my website www.shrinkyourself to read more about how to master your relationship to food.  The health benefits from losing even a little bit of weight are vast. Don't waste another day. Get the right information to make a change.

Binge eating is just one type of emotional eating. In other words, it’s using food in a compulsive way to deal with uncomfortable feelings. Binge eating affects millions of people and is more common than both anorexia and bulimia combined. Binge eating is often used to quell anxiety or fill a gnawing emptiness inside. However, no matter how much food gets stuffed in, binging simply can’t deal with the feelings, whatever those feelings might be.

What the cycle of binge eating does do successfully, however, which is why you keep relying on it as a coping mechanism, is that it changes your mind’s path. For example, if your mental train is on a particular track of thinking, binge eating has you switch tracks and go in a different direction. If you were thinking about something troubling (your job or a relationship or an insecurity), binging stops those thoughts for a few moments, puts you in what I call a food trance, and then redirects your thoughts to ones of guilt and regret about what you ate. These thoughts might not be pleasant but often they’re more acceptable than what you were originally thinking about. Not to mention that the foods that are typically binge foods (peanut butter, cheese, ice-cream, chips, baked goods) alter your brain chemistry in a way that gives you a surge of calm feelings.

No matter how much you are binging you can take certain steps to preventing your next binge:

1.Keep Things Organized

Many people report binging when they get overwhelmed with chores and responsibilities. If you stay on top of things you’re less likely to use a binge to procrastinate or escape. Create systems, pay your bills, ask for help and don’t put off till tomorrow what you can do today.

2. Chill Out

Knowing how to manage your own anxiety is a critical factor in avoiding binges. Whether you use walking, reading, meditating, or sports, to calm yourself down, knowing what particularly works for you is key. Experiment with different things until you find things that reduce your level of anxiety.

3. Have a Solid Support System

Having people to go to when you need to vent, get advice or hear you out is important. Remembering that you’re not alone and having solid people in your life that you can honestly share your struggles with can make a huge difference. A therapist, online community,  or support group can also help.

4. Don’t Keep Binge Foods Around

Most people have certain foods that trigger their binges. If this applies to you, don’t keep those foods in your cupboards or go to places where you know you can’t avoid them. You don’t need treats for the kids, or for guests, or for anyone else. No reason to make things harder for yourself than they need to be until you have more control over what you eat.

5. Go to Bed

You’d be surprised how many afternoon and evening binges happen when you’re tired and don’t just put yourself to bed. Obviously, there will be times when going to sleep just isn’t possible, for example in the afternoon when you’re at work. However, if you stay on top of getting the rest you need, you’ll find yourself looking for food so much less.

It only takes avoiding a binge a few times to prove to yourself that you can. Also keep in mind that the mark of successfully ending a binge pattern happens one binge at a time. No one ever quits cold turkey. By using these five tools you’ll be proactive and aware which will help you start to avoid some binges. Even if you don’t avoid all binges at first, more time between binges, is a huge step on the road to success. Be sure to acknowledge all the small successes on your way. If you need help getting your binge eating under control visit my website www.shrinkyourself.com for more information.

You may not know this but emotional overeating is the reason that 95% of diets fail. You might already know you’re an emotional eater. Or you might not be sure and you may need a little bit more information to decide. The first step is to find out if you are emotionally hungry. Below are the twelve types of emotional hunger that trigger Emotional Eating. As you read through the list, ask yourself how many of these apply to you and your life. If you use food in any of the ways listed below, you'll know that Emotional Eating is the real reason you struggle with your weight.

Type 1. Food: My Adult Pacifier
If you get really hungry when you feel angry, depressed, anxious, bored, or lonely, you use food to dull the pain that these emotions cause.

Type 2. I Stick Up For Myself by Stuffing Myself Up
If you react by getting hungry when others talk down to you, take advantage of you, belittle you, or take you for granted, you eat to avoid confrontation.

Type 3. Food: My One Faithful Friend
If you crave food when you have tension in your close relationships, you eat to avoid feeling the pain of rejection or anger.

Type 4. When I’m Chewing I Can’t Hear My Inner Critic
If you tend to become hypercritical of yourself, if you label yourself "stupid," "lazy," or "a loser," you eat to stuff down self-hatred.

Type 5. I Don’t Have Love but I Have Food
If your hunger gets activated because your intimate relationships don't satisfy some basic need like trust or security, you use food to try to fill the gap.

Type 6. Food Can’t Fill Up the Missing Parts in My Past
If you eat to make up for the deprivation you experienced as a child, you eat to forget the past.

Type 7. Don’t Tell Me What to Eat
If you eat to assert your independence because you don't want anyone telling you what to do, you eat to rebel.

Type 8. I’m Too Busy Eating to Take a Risk
If your appetite kicks in when you're faced with new challenges — if you use food to avoid rising to the test, you eat to protect yourself from the fear of failure.

Type 9. Fall in Love? I’d Rather Fall in Chocolate.
If you stuff your face in order to avoid your sexuality — either to stay overweight so that nobody desires you or to hide from intimate encounters — you eat to protect yourself from getting too close.

Type 10. I Use My Body as a Battleground
Emotional eaters often eat to pay back those who have hurt them, often in the distant past. They use their bodies as battlegrounds for working out old resentments. If you do this, you eat to get revenge or control anger.

Type 11. I Won’t Grow Up
If you eat to make yourself feel carefree, like a child, you eat to keep yourself from facing the challenges of growing up.

Type 12. I’m Secretly Afraid of Being Thin
If you overeat because you fear getting thin, either consciously or unconsciously, you eat to avoid the fear of change.


Emotional hunger is real. It’s part of life for everyone. If you address the things that make you emotionally hungry, you’ll have a chance of having real satisfaction in your life. But if you eat each time you’re emotionally hungry, you’ll miss the opportunity of satisfaction, and your emotional hunger will continue to grow along with your waistline. No matter what the source of your emotional hunger you'll find a way to address it at www.shrinkyourself.com