I'm sorry that I have not been visiting the forum on a regular basis. I further apologize for leaving you to wonder what was going on with me.

Life has been...well pretty tough, to say the least. ...As you may recall, I had an appt with my Cardiologist on April 29th...I am not sure what I had hoped to gain from this appt. but there were no "magic" answers or suggestions. At this point I am status quo with the Tikosyn. Since this is, the very last resort in the lines of medication, there is no other drug for me to consider. As for any further ablative procedures...He was not hopeful that going in for a 6th procedure would be of much benefit. Finally, he asked if I was willing  to give this medication a little longer before deciding to call it a day and go in for the full blown AV-Node ablation and pacemaker implant. I agreed and said that I didn't want to give up yet but my patience was extremely thin. So that was that. Following the appt. I sat in my car and just sobbed. I felt like I was finally reaching a point of despair with no hope, no plan, no nothing! I then did what I said I'd never do, I shut myself off to the forum, friends etc. I felt that if I was so filled with despair,  how on earth was I then going to be able to offer all of you here "the brighter side" of things...the silver lining so to speak?  

If things weren't already weighing me down, on May 10th (Mother's Day) an old friend of mine from nursing school, mother of 5 children (Michael 15, Shannon 12, Kelly 9, twins Morgan&Madison 7) was found early that morning, by her son Michael, stabbed to death in her bedroom!!!!:((( THis took place in Wolfeboro NH. She was a BEAUTIFUL woman inside and out! She lit up the darkest of rooms upon entering them! It is a TRAGIC, HORRIFIC LOSS for her children, her mother, sister&brother...as well as all of us, her dear friends! This event sent me into a tailspin for which I am now finally starting to come out of.

Just when I thought things were going to turn around, my daughter was diagnosed with Swine Flu! I know that they say God never burdens those with more than they can handle...Well, I truly feel that I have reached my quota and can be burdened with no more.

Just when I thought there was no hope for me to ever think of having any kind of quality in my life...I was given the name of a Dr. who might be the answer to my prayers....My silver lining! The following quote is his mission statement:

"I am dedicated to my profession. I believe it is my mission in life. I give all of myself to make sure my patient’s heart does what it’s supposed to do." ~Andrea Natale, M.D. <~~~This is the Dr. for me, my last ray of hope! Texas Cardiac Arrhythmia Institute here I come!

This Dr has been mentioned to me in the past...At the time, I was convinced that I was where I needed to be, that I would be "fixed" and seeking a cure elsewhere wasn't neccessary. I guess it came down to this...How many times do you get hauled into the EP lab, have catheters snaked into your heart looking for that "hot spot" only to find out, it ... didn't work. Med change after med change, none that do what they are supposed to do but make you feel like a walking zombie. I've lost count of the medications I've been given, not to mention the countless admissions through the ER, I've been cardioverted, been through the EP lab 6 times (I think they should name a revolving door after me!) I'm done playing around or letting them play around with me like I'm some kind of guinea pig! Time to pack up my toys and move on.

When my journey toward a cure started about 3 yrs ago, I never, ever, imagined that I'd still be here waiting for a miracle! This has impacted me and the lives of my family in ways that I never thought possible...Living with multiple arrhythmias has forced me to sit back and watch life go on for those around me...all the while, my life has been put on hold....it's much like somebody with TV remote in hand, points it at you and hits "PAUSE!" Now is the time for me to take control of the situation and do whatever I have to do to start living again!

Again, thank you to those who have continued to send notes and messages of encouragement...for the countless prayers all that I don't know what I'd do without. Today, my friends, is the first day of the rest of my life! I will keep you posted as this plan unfolds:)

~God Bless you all!
Adrienne

On Monday Oct. 20 my younger brother was critically injured on a jobsite at Logan Airport. He accidentally fell 40ft from an overpass to the pavement. He is currently on life support in the SICU at Boston Medical Center. His injuries are horrific and right now he is too unstable to have any type of surgery to start the process of putting his very broken body back together. The Dr's said it is an absolute miracle that he survived the fall and that he has made it this far. We all feel so helpless and are still reeling from the shock of it all. He has 3 young daughters ranging from 3-6 who don't understand why their daddy can't come home and why they can't see him. I am asking for you to keep him in your prayers as this seems to be the only thing we can do in hope for some kind of miracle to sustain him through this.  I am heartbroken!



UPDATE:  On Thurs we met with some of the Trauma Team Dr's who are caring for my brother John, we were briefed again about his injuries  starting with his arrival at the ER. I think that I was the only one who caught the Dr. say, "during our recessatation efforts, he was intubated..." I looked around the table to the family members present, I know that they may not have truly understood what that meant. As painfully gutwrenching that was for me knowing just how close we had come to losing him, part of me was relieved knowing that the Dr's  explanation slipped right by my mom and dad. I did see John for a short time, as we have been told that our visits need to be short in an effort not to overstimulate him. This was the first time he actually opened his eyes. He does have fractured bones around the  right eye and he may have injury to the eye itself. The look I saw in his eye has tormented me since. Being unable to speak, and having had both arms sustain massive compund fractures, he was locked inside his body unable to let us know just what was going on in his mind. All we could do was reassure him that we were there and have been since Mon. and that it wouln't be long before he could speak to us...we imagine he will have alot to say.  

As of yesterday he was upgraded  to critically stable which cleared him for his 1st of many surgeries. After putting in an IVC filter to ward off blood clots, he had his fractured pelvis repaired and had a rod placed  in his right femur. The surgery lasted hours becuase of the complexity of the fractures. The Dr's said that although he is not out of the woods, this was a step in the right direction. Early this morning, the Dr's decided to give him a trial run off the ventilator. We were told by the nurse that when he could finally muster up enough energy, he quietly asked if she were God? Can you imagine not knowing where you've been for 5 days and then thinking you've gone to heaven and you're face to face with God. He then became very aggitated and was having a difficult time breathing on his own. The Dr's said that having been on a ventilator for 5 days, this was not uncommon. If he continued to have difficulty they would have to reintubate. He finally seemed to be more comfortable and has been resting since. It will be some time next week before they can operate again. We were told that the shock to his body would be overwhelming after all that he has been through.

I wanted to take this time to also THANK all of you who have said a prayer, lit a candle, stated prayer chains etc. I do believe in the power of prayer and I belive that all those prayers have been answered when I see my brother, just 6 days later having surpassed all the Dr's expectations. Keep them coming!!! I will post updates when I can. GOD BLESS EACH AND EVERYONE OF YOU!!!!!!


UPDATE on my brother John: NOV 27
I have tried to post an update sooner, but as I sat here I seem to become emotionally overwhelmed by the past 6+ weeks. It has been quite a road for my dear brother. There have been many twists and turns along the way. As of Nov 1st, he had made it through 6 very lengthy surgeries to put his shattered limbs and pelvis back together. During this time he aslo developed pnemonia, which set him back a few days. In the coming days, he was so weak and lethargic. We wondered if he was just giving up. It was at this time, his wife brought 2 of their 3 daughters to visit "daddy" for the first time. All I can say is that this was the medicine he needed! I think that when he looked into the faces of those 2 little beauties, he saw what it was that he was fighting for. He showed remarkable improvement and on Nov 8th was cleared by the Trauma Surgery Service to be brought to the Spaulding Rehab in Boston.

During the 1st week in Rehab, It was very difficult for us to see him struggle, in sometimes unbearable pain, to perform very basic things...like sitting up (this he could't do alone) getting out of bed (with 2-3 people assisting) I could see the pain in his eyes, but that he tried to hide with a smile. At times, I had to turn away so he wouldn't see the tears rolling down my cheeks...me feeling so helpless, not knowing what to do for him. In the week or 2 that followed, he had his good days followed by very difficult days. We thought that he was moving right along. We couldn't have been more wrong.

I had been noticing that his right arm, worst injury of all, was looking infected. The incision that went from his sholder to just above the wrist, was definitely looking suspicious. On Mon he was taken back to Boston Medical Ctr for an appt with the ortho surgeon. At this point, they determined that he definitely had a very bad infection brewing. He was admitted and brought to the OR to open the incision and do a washout procedure. This was bad enough. Knowing how this would impact his recovery. It was later that they discovered how bad the infection is. He then had to have a Pic Line placed to have 6 weeks of potent antibiotics. He will go back to the OR again on Wed to have the same surgery repeated. As of tonight, we were told that he has now developed a MRSA infection! He is absolutely devistated and is getting more and more down with each passing day. He has now missed 2 of his kids b-days, Thanksgiving and was told that it would be a miracle if he's home before Christmas.

We, his family, are trying to keep our pain hidden from him. We continue to try and reassure him that this will soon be a very distant memory. We just keep praying and praying...what else is there to do when it's a miracle we're looking for.

For all of you that have continued to pray, who have supported me, sent notes, messages, and even those who have thought about John..... THANK YOU!!!! I can't even begin to tell you how deeply this has touched my heart. I don't know what I would have done without this support:)