Well, after weeks of being exhausted and trying to get my house on the market, it has finally taken its toll.  I have some kind of virus or something that is making me quite ill.  It's all I can do to get thru the day of work & come home and go to bed.
At least I finally have the house listed and am praying that it will sell before Christmas.  
I am not looking forward to going to court next month, but know that it is the only way to resolve the property issues.  I was hoping to get thru without hiring a lawyer, but that is going to be extremely difficult.
I hate living in a small town because there are times when I don't want to be asked every day about where my husband is and why did we break up so suddenly when we seemed like the perfect couple.  It is embarassing and I don't want to explain what he did to everyone.  I am sick of talking about it and of having neighbours asking what else I am selling besides the house!
My step-daughter is coming home for a few days and it will be nice to see her.  I hope she doesn't have any more panic attacks and I hope her father goes to jail for what he did to her.  I am still angry about it all.  
Even tho I have been trying to take care of myself, meditate and handle things as they arise, I still got very ill.  I need a few days off just to rest and relax.  I will try to spend time doing that over the weekend.  Maybe by then I will feel better.
It cheeses me off that my husband is already out dating and stuff & I can't even think like that yet.  Why do men find it so easy to replace you with a younger model?  I am still a vibrant, talented woman, but I will never meet someone living in a town of 600 (mostly seniors).  I will have to move away after I sell my house.

I've spent the past several days battling a cold that has turned ugly.  I haven't had much time for self care with everything else that is
going on.  I guess that's what happens when you are physically, mentally and emotionally exhausted.
Getting this house ready to sell has been overwhelming.  Add into the mix, separation, lonliness, anger, frustration and a whole
host of other feelings on top of that & you have the sure recipe for some stressful risks.
My ex is asking for an awful lot & he has charges to deal with; my youngest daughter is trying to cope with the fact that her own
father sexually assaulted her;  my son has to go to court next week on minor drug charges & driving without a license; my oldest
daughter is having a tumour removed from her thyroid on Nov 1st; I am having financial difficulties...you name it.
When God gives me challenges...their almost always big ones.  I guess we hardly notice the little ones because a reasonable
amount of stress is always acceptable and a normal part of daily living.  I don't know how much more of this I can take.
I am working really hard a trying to stay positive, but it just keeps piling up.  I need a vacation...ha ha...like that is going to
happen.  I can't even afford a few days off work right now.  What'll I do?  Praying is not giving me any answers.  I've tried putting
it in God's hands...that doesn't seem to be helping a lot.  I am angry that I have to handle everything while my husband just
goes out and enjoys himself - already dating.  Boy...that's how they hurt you...first financially, then flaunting a new young thing in your
face!  I know it is said "what goes around, comes around", but both my ex-husbands have done way better than I have.  
The first one re-marrying as soon as the divorce was final & living the good life with a new wife & no responsibilities.  The second
already setting himself up with someone new.  I hope the judge throws the book at him!  I know I'd like to.
It is hard to deal with this anger, but I work at it every single day!

Thanksgiving is a time to reflect on all the things we are thankful for in our lives.
I am thankful for my children and grandchildren.
I am thankful for the beauty in nature that surrounds me.
I am thankful for the gifts and talents that the creator has given me.
I am thankful for all the opportunities that have been given and those yet to come.
I am thankful for mother earth and the bounties she supplies.
I am thankful that I have had the opportunity to love and be loved in this life.
I am thankful that I enjoy realtively good health.
I am thankful for the knowledge that I have received.
I am thankful for the opportunity to influence the lives of children and parents.
I am thankful for my community.
I am thankful for the many friends I have in my life.
Today, I am truly thankful to walk the earth and enjoy its beauty with respect and love.
Today, I am truly thankful that my son will come and spend the day with me.  It has been
a long time since we have spent time together and I have missed him.
I am truly thankful that I am never alone in this world. The creator is always with me.
I am thankful for my faith and my good heart.  
This thanksgiving, I am truly grateful.