All Journal Entries Journals
Sort By:  

"dh" vent!

Mar 27, 2014 - 5 comments

omg there is so much... but it all boils down to, I married a selfish boy.  I just want a man that man's up.  Your at a job you don't love?  man up there are bills to pay!  I married such a wuss.  I handle all problems, I deal with everything.  He whines, and complains.  I am so tired.  I am glad he is 3 hours away working.  I don't have to deal with his every mood.  but it comes down to, he isn't happy there and wants to quit his job... There are bills to pay sugar princess, man up.  I have worked since I was 15, round table, burgerville, target, boys and girls club, KFC, on and on until I finished college and went to work as a teacher.  15 years later am I happy everyday going to work?  hell no...  but you know what that is what adults do, they work, they support, and they don't complain because there are people that have a whole lot worse jobs.  Man up little princess... you are not a child...  

Depression

Oct 13, 2013 - 1 comments

I feel depression creeping over me again.  There is no trigger.  It starts slow and then speeds up. I had a three day weekend. I have to force myself to shower, to cook, to do anything.  It is a chore.  Went to the pumpkin patch faked my smiles, went to the movies faked my interest.  I only want to sleep,   I took 2 naps yesterday, long naps after sleeping 11 hours at night.  It takes over. Just wanting to sleep, to not participate in life.  But I want to I do it just takes to much effort.  I am on celexa 2 pills a day have been for a couple of years but now it is back, so much effort required to do any of it.  How to make it stop?  Life wasn't supposed to be this way....

Anniversary?

Aug 15, 2013 - 8 comments

So today is my 6th wedding anniversary.  *I am confused* So since our last big fight where I told him I didn't like him at all and didn't want to be with him.  And he said basically the same.  (this has never be said by both of us) Things have been calm.  I am just figuring we are waiting until Dec. for the separation.  Our Anniversary has been approaching.  I made no mention of it and just figured it would be another day.  We have never been big celebrators.  The first year we went to Cancoon more for a vacation than to celebrate.  The second year we happened to be in Peru visiting his parents and we went out to dinner and Karoeke.  Since then it has just been a dinner, movie whatever.  Like any other weekend.  So a couple days ago he called me from work and said I know what we can do the day after tomorrow (today) and I said what?  He said do you want me to tell you?  and I played dumb like I don't know should you tell me.  I didn't want to say for our anniversary if he was going to say we should go get that load of barkchips we talked about laying or something lame like that.  He said ok we will talk about it when I get home.  So he got home and we were watching the 1 tv show that we watch. and about an hour later I said so what were you going to tell me and he was like do you want me to tell you?  And I said I don't know what your talking about so I don't know if you should tell me or not.  Ok, I'll tell you because I need your input anyway.  I was thinking we should take that dinner boar cruise we have seen.  I was like yea?  when.  He said for our Anniversary. When else?  I said ya that would be cool. but inside am like wth?  Aren't we separating?  Why are we celebrating what is ending?  It is a trial separation so who knows wtf he is thinking.  So I guess we are going tonight.  He booked it.  Weird.  Men, and they say we are the hard ones to understand.

Question,Need help

Aug 07, 2013 - 11 comments

Ok got a question. "dh" flipped out last night for a reason I cannot understand wondering if you guys can help.  I sent my 3 kids to pizza with my oldests boyfriend tagging along.  When they got back Parissa had some of those toys from the quarter machines and dd said her boyfriend gave my youngest two 5 dollars to split on them.  I thought it was sweet so I told me dh.  He said very sternly that he didn't want people giving his daughter money.  I asked why?  Because I don't want my daughter handling money.  Why again?  He got increasing upset as I wanted to know why thinking I wasnt going to do what he had asked.  I just said I would like to know a reason because it doesn't make any sense.  Anyway the fight increased to me telling him he needed mental help haha.  But I still don't get it.  She is 5 and she got some quarters to spend on the machines what is the bug deal?  Am I missing something?  He is from south America is it a cultural thing?  Wth?