Anxious_Manna's Profile

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Anxious_Manna is

Anxious....

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Female, 16, Algonquin - IL, member since Oct 2007

I'm Amanda, and I don't know what's wrong with me exactly.. I can explain the story, but no one seems to know for sure, and ... I have no idea personally, but I'm really egar to find out what's causing my issue, and when and how I can get it to go away.  I want my life... [More] back the way it used to be... I was so happy !!

Now, I wake up every day.... and I'm wondering when am I going to freak out .. when is this just going to go away.. why me?? Why me?? ... Hopefully someone will be able to help && make me understand what's wrong with meeh! :

My StorY:::

Well, my event that leading up to me having anxiety I should probably explain 1st.

Back in Febuary of 2007 this year I was dating a guy Ryan and he was a big pot head ... and so I had gotten him weed once through a friend of mine and we smoked up nothing really happend I just laughed alot and that was it.  Then, In Febuary I think it was on his 2oTH bday I was the house that he was living at which was his Grandma's and... his buddies all ended up comming over and they were like chyea wanna smoke... and not thinking I was like ok helll yeah why not.. Because I wanted to impress his friends.. At the time I remember feeling pretty nervous because Joe a friend of his said there was coke in the weed.. So, anyways we went in the back room and we all shared two bowl packs and then when they were cashed I remember feeling a SPLURGE of energy and jogging out of the room and I was like you guys want to go jogging? Then, I remember taking pictures and I wasn't taking pictures of anything, and I fell over and when I got up.. everything felt unreal and everything seemed really clear and ... I was like woah what the hell.. and so ... I told everyone things were 3D because thats what it seemed like as if they were closer then they were... and or further away it went back and forth so then... I started freaking out and everything seemed so fake... like almost I was dead my Boyfriend  at the time put his arms around me and I remember me saying I can't feel them somethings wrong call 911 and they all didn't know what to do so they started running around worrying me more so I grabbed Ty's phone and went outside into the snow with no shoes and no soxs on and... I couldn't feel anything I was on the phone with 911 and they said they were sending an ambulence ... so they did , and then I remember them taking me away and they gave me a IV and took my blood turns out the only thing in my system was Cannibus... which is marijuana.. and nothing else....

Ever sense that night I have been feeling anxious, and paranoid... like, but it just comes out of no where so I wasn't sure if it's PTSD... or... Panic Disorder.. I'm so confused... I just want the worrying and freaking out to go away when I have an anxiety attack it's like I"ll go back to that night except I'll sweat in my palms and then my mouth goes numb and throaht and then... I normally just feel like everything around me.. is fake and I'm dying.... and it eventually wares off normally after I write... I noticed when I drink alcohol it is worse.. I don't know what I have.... though as far as diagnosis and I don't know if caffine and smoking ciggs is worsening my symptoms... I just need to get help so I can get rid of this...

Does anyone have anxiety or PTSD or something because of drug use?  I don't get it.. && I'm confused.. and I feel alone and this is really depressing I used to be so happy && now I"m on edge someone please reply... I'd really appreciate it to hear from as many people as possible...

Oh and if I have a really really bad anxiety attack Everything will seem really clear and perception of space is off... ??? hmm.. I'm so confused on why this is happening...

And if I avoid an anxiety attack from gettting out of hand I normally get a really bad headache && worry about if it's going to come...

Thanks for your time everyone,
-Anxious_Manna [Less]

Interests:

Anxiety, PTSD, Panic Disorder, Love, Depression, Cure, Healing, Understanding

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Oct 12, 2007 06:51PM - 0 comments
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Anxiety

Well, I'm very anxious I don't know why, but I am... I was just sitting here listening to music && I thought wow the volume level sounds uneven &&& then all of a sudden I decided to take a drink && it was like I couldn't feel it in my mouth , but I felt it running down my throaht and it felt all weird, and then... My hands got sweaty && I was like **** and I just blinked and tried to ignore it .. but it's hard.. really it is... Maybe it's because I drink so much caffine and it causes me to tweak out.. Maybe.. dude I think I'm going to stop drinking caffine and start drinking water juices and gadorades and see if that helps me out any... Im just trying to make myself better && figure out if I have anxiety or PTSD I'm so confused... Thats' all for now.. basically I'm waiting for Brandon to get off work && come home and kiss me... Maybe that will make me feel better whenever we were with eachother every day I felt so... secure and occupied that I didn't think about freaking out at all... Nuts... well I'm gunna... update some other stuff on this site because I'm new..

Manna : ) <33

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Anxious Me.

Anxiety