i think im depressed.
my dad no longer lives at home.
my mom kicked him out.
i love my dad. and miss him so much.
me and my boyfriend broke up but are still friends and hes helping through all this.
i feel like picking my skin till i bleeed.
i want things to go back to normal.
probably gunna try a xanax tonight.

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yesterday had a BAD panic attack while entering a mall.
has a wave of nausea then BAM panic attack.
has about 5 more lastnight.
slight derealization today and high anxiety.

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went yesterday,
and i have a slight infection.
suckkks.
my left tonsil is a bit swollen, and my left ear is infected.
i feel a bit better today, should give myself atleast 48 hours to let the anti biotics kick it.
but other than that im ok.
my anxiety was a bit high today, but that tends to happen when i get sick or runned down.
im feelin okay.
so all is good:)

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i forgot to update about aarons party last weekend.
it went great ! i love being surrounded by family. :)
my anxiety was very good, but about in the middle of the day around 6 or 7, i felt a bit overwhelmed, so i took a clonozapam and everything was okay :)
everythigs been good since then, except for the last three days ive been nausous, and no appitite, and i feel a wierd feeling in my throat, like im about to get a sore throat, so i could be coming down with something, or my period just ended and i usually dont feel so good when that happends.'
yesterday i went to my first phyciatrist appointment in 3 years. it went well, the doc was very nice, asked alot of questions and i described to him what ive been feelling latley and the past years of anxiety. he then diagnosed me with agoraphobia. never kneew it. but i had a feeling. it kinda all makes sense now.
i have a docs appointment today to update on the effects of the new anti depressent ive been on for about a month now and how thats going.
and thats pretty much it.
ill update as soon as possible .
:)

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