So normally my cycles are anywhere from 30-39 days.  This month....I am on vacation going to my SIL's graduation from High School and guess what happens...AF.  27 day cycle!  WHAT THE **** IS THAT ALL ABOUT.  Okay, I am sorry but Kentucky (or atleast where I was) was nothing but STICKS.  I had to literally go to 4 gas stations just to get pads and tampons.  It was about 90 degrees and we're outside and it's muggy and sticky.  Then I have a 9 1/2 hour drive home today.  I have NEVER cramped this bad in a very long time.  It's not even a normal AF.   All I did yesterday was spot.  Today has been spotty and very light at times.  Thank God because we were in a car and traveling.  But really...hopefully this means that my body is back to normal or getting there.  I stopped charting b/c I forgot my thermometer.  Then I took it to Kentucky but didn't take my temp today.  But the same day it dropped I started.  Okay I Know that I am just going on and on I'm sorry....but I have been  cooped up with a 29 year old BIL my DH and 2 nephews 10 and 7.  It's been awhile since I have talked to other females.  Anyway....I just don't understand this 27 day  cycle....and this is unusual for me to spot first and then spot/light...who knows!

there is a cramp only in my right side.  I'm assuming it's from ovulation but it reminds me of the pain when I first found out that I had cyst on my ovaries at 14.

Ovulation Tracker

I know that I said that I was not going to be on here as much but I really just don't know what else to do.  I work and come home and hubby plays the 360 and I go to bed.  I love my life don't get me wrong.  We spend lots of time together and honestly it's not even about the dh at all.  It's all the drama in my life and I just want it to go away!  

First off,  I have been trying for a year ONE WHOLE YEAR!  I thought that it would happen wam bam...um...no that's not what happened.  I have been to two different doctors at different practices and NEITHER of them can tell me what's wrong with me.  How hard is it to run every kind of blood test to see if there is something not right instead of just saying it'll happen give it 2 more months.  So I start reading about PCOS since I have had cyst on my ovaries since I was 14.  I call the doctor and say hey...do I have this?   I get the response....You probably do it's like a 90% chance you do.  Then I proceed to ask...okay so what do I need to do about this?  The nurse tells me well....what do you want to do.  I told her I JUST WANT TO HAVE A BABY!  So now I am charting for the next 2 months my bbt and my ovulation.  They do not think that I am ovulating thanks to be being on the pill for 7 years and being so young.  Anywho, then I am told that I only have a 25-75% chance of getting preggers....yeah the way I am looking at the is that's great!  But in reality that's not....that's still low.  Or at least I think it is.  Anywho, then mothers day rolls around and I am torn to pieces.  Not because I possibly can't have kids but because everyone is bring up my m/c and telling me happy mother's day...or happy mother's day to be.  It hurts....bad.  I'm overly sensitive for some reason.  So now I'm just this mess that gets so emotional that I didn't even want to hold my new nephew on mother's day because he wasn't my child.  That's wrong.  Of course I held him because dh forced me too but I didn't really want to because I looked at him and was thinking...what if I can never have this?  It's painful.

So, I finally get over this ****...well not really over it but I moved on.  My best friend has been trying for months to trap her boyfriend.  She got preggers and had a m/c and now every time were together she compares us.  It's like it's a contest.  She's being completely different to me and I don't even like her anymore.  It's like it takes all I have to tolerate her.  It seems like my temper is getting shorter and shorter and that's not like me at all.  She is doing too many people wrong in her life and it needs to be in the open.  I can't stand it anymore.  

Work is driving me crazy b/c I have been working 2 jobs since September.  One job is just two days of the week that I cut back to one.  I love it because I get to see dh.  We have different days off and I feel that we don't see each other but for a couple hours a day and it's just not what I want.  Then I work at a childcare center M-F and I am beginning to HATE my job.  I have just turned into this sour person that I was never before.  What's happening to me?  I can't stand anyone I work with and the parents are getting to the point where I don't want to go to work in the morning.  

Next, we're moving....I'm completely lost on when or exactly where but we know around about where we want to live.  My life is to hectic and then I start doubting how good of a mother I will be.  I know I will give my child everything I can but at the same time I just don't feel that I can give it enough.  I know that I will fail in some areas and surpass in others.  It's part of parenting.  I don't know I feel that it's all happening at the same time.  It's like I am in a whirl wind and I'm just in it for the ride.  

Sorry it's so long but the only reason I have my sanity is because I come here and just look around.  Sorry to waste your time!

Hey Ladies...
I have enjoyed every minuet here and I WILL BE BACK!!  I just need to take a break for a little bit.  There is so much going on in my life right now and I need to put my priorities back together.  If you don't know I will be moving in June and this house is a wreck it seems.  Also, it's been a year and I am actually waiting on the doctor to call anytime today to tell me when to come have blood work for test and all.  I thought maybe if I just come around every few days then it'll be okay....I'll make time and I swear there is not enough time in the day.  I work too much and when I am not a work (1 day) then I'm at my mom's doing something.  I know I am just all over the place so just bear with me...I'm just confused right now.  I will check back maybe once a week or once every  2 weeks....something...just not everyday!  A lot of you ladies have taught me A LOT!!!!  I wish everyone loads of baby dust and happy pregnancies.
I do have myspace that I do check regularly or will begin to.  here is my link if you want to add me.
http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=22702466