i cant wait until i can get the hell out of here. you dont know how sick i am of dealing with stupid *** bois in here. like its funny, the one boy sits up and asks for head and sex all the time, and the other day he actually followed me and i ignored him. so today he comes in with an attitude towards me lol. i mean arguing about **** that doesnt even matter! has nothing to do with him! even after the teacher says 4 him 2 stop he keeps going, and im just smiling to myself. i love making ignorant people get all pissed off about nothing. cuz 9/10 their gonna wanna voice their opinon ( like its worth anything) and i really cant wait for him to try and ask me to do something again. lol. its like everyone around me irritates me! even the ppl i was close 2. i cant stand them no more. specially these low life, stupid, good for nothing, dirty *** niggas down here. every man and boi in midland ( with the exception of a few MAYBE) are nothing but JACKASSES and its disgusting! they dont even have educations, but yet they INSIST on being right! like the lil dum *** that argued with me. hes not even allowed at the school i was talking about, but yet he had the nerve to argue with me about the rules thre! im like does it matter? lol. god haha such idiots i deal with. i guess i feel this way bcuz i kno its time for me to go, and meet NEW ppl who are on my LEVEL! cuz very few ppl actually are down here where i live. like i use to turn the guys down nicely. but now i kinda turn my nose up and look down on them like their something i stepped in. i kno tha sounds horrible but u cant possibly understand this unless uve lived in a small town full of dumb ***** and crack heads. ive actually learned the best way to deal with idiots who think they are right, is to laugh at them instead of arguing back, and instead of getting mad. just laugh. that way u dont end up embaressing urself, AND u **** them off that much more! everyone wins lol. i think ima work my *** off to finish these 2  classes so i wont gotta deal with these untrained animals in here. ( there is only like 2 guys who are actually decent). ahh well, i should prolly get back to my work, ill prolly be back to vent some more later. afterall this place is JUSt like a zoo.

Dear Jaslene, ( i kno u are a little girl, i can feel it )
Mommy still doesnt believe you are there, but yet im hoping very much, tha you will stick around long enough for me to be able to hold you in my arms. All of my other pregnancies have ended around 3 months, so its very hard for me to be "real" about you. But i am trying my very best to not do ANYTHING that would harm you. I am at school right now. (I had a HARD time waking up.) and i feel like i am about to SCREAM! mommy is having morning sickness AND a very bad case of fatigue. But its all worth it baby doll. Im sorry for all the "jostling around" you may have got last nite. But mommy has to have her "fun" wen she can. ( youll understand about that wen u are older). Not many pppl know about u yet, still. But there may be more than i really kno. A gurl named majesta just had a miscarriage  and apparently she is upset tht I am pregnant again. She went screaming thru the whole school about " If that ***** can get pregnant at the drop of a dime, then why cant i? she even wanted an abortion, her mom was gonna get the money for her she said so, why is it that ******* like her that dont even want there kids, get pregnant, but girls like me who actually want babies, cant ahve any?" No mind u, mommy is 18, a grown woman. That child is in the 10th grade and she is with a grown man. Alot of ppl got on her for putting my business out like that, so im also not realli worried about any rumos getting startted bcuz of her. She doesnt have good credibity ne ways. And in a way i cant blame her. But im not even sure if she was tel,ling the truth anyways about being pregnant. ANyways ima go now so i can get some work done. I love you soo much mija. <3

Dear Jaslene,
Mommy is afraid shes gonna loose you. Ive been having lite cramping and then all of a sudden i'll get this sharp pain down there. Im  really scared. i love you soo much already and i dont want to lose u. Mommy lost 2 of your siblings already. Last summer, and the time i miscarried before i could even get a hpt! I feel really sad. Its almost like im not good enough to carry a baby full term.  Ive been taking care of you, and myself like ive suppose to. At this point im still keeping you kind of a seccret. I dont want everyone getting excited, in case something should happen to you.
  I found out yesterday where ur father is: hes in jail an hs gonna b there for a whole year. SO if things go good, by the time his triflin butt  is out, youll be walking and talking. I still havent been to  a proper GYN yet. But your grandmother is makng me an appointment real soon. I need to check my hcg levels make sure theyre rising not falling. Well mommy is gonna go now, and ima come back later and finish my letter to you. Im falling aslep at the keyboard, and i need 2 get back to finishing my work.
i love you soo soo much,
mmm

Dear Jaslene,
Mommy is tryin her hardest not to fall asleep in school. Its not that i go to bed late. its all those crazy hormones that are working to make you! I am sooo excited and i cant wait to hold you in my arms. December seems like a looong way from now. I also told your grandmother about you. At first she wasnt to happy. She still isnt. But don worry baby it has nothing to do with you. Shes just upset that im having you so early. But dont worry, once she sees your tiny beautiful face she'll love you right a way. Ive been thinking of names for you, but for some reason i can only think of girl names. Maybe bcuz i kno that youre a little girl. I havent seen an ultrasound pic of you yet. But i just feel that you are a girl. And my favorite name from the list is; Jaslene Nevaeh.
Last nite i looked at the pregnancy bible (what to expect when you are expecting) and i found a few awnsers to the may quesions i have had. It even told me and showed me pics of what you look like right now! Your a tiny lil something. Im still getting over the fact that your here! Sometimes i really dont feel pregnant. But dont worry i'll still b careful. These cravings i have are nothing to joke about tho! Mommys been having the strongest cravings for Reeses peanut butter cups. Every day, i walk all the way down to either Rite Aid, or the gas station just to get them. I havent had any for today yet so im going down there after school 2 day. Well, mommy has alot of work to do and not much time to do it in. But i promise I will write another(better) letter when i have time honey. I love you soo soo much.
  Love,
Mommy