Oxykicker's Profile
Mar 16, 2008 10:07AM
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Post-Acute Withdrawal (PAWS)
There are two stages of withdrawal. The first stage is the acute stage, which usually lasts for a few weeks. During this stage, you may experience physical withdrawal symptoms. But every drug is different, and every person is different.
The second stage of withdrawal is called the Post Acute Withdrawal Syndrome (PAWS). During this stage you'll have fewer physical symptoms, but more emotional and psychological withdrawal symptoms.
Post-acute withdrawal occurs because your brain chemistry is gradually returning to normal. As your brain improves the levels of your brain chemicals fluctuate as they approach the new equilibrium causing post-acute withdrawal symptoms.
Most people experience some post-acute withdrawal symptoms. Whereas in the acute stage of withdrawal every person is different, in post-acute withdrawal most people have the same symptoms.
The Symptoms of Post-Acute Withdrawal
The most common post-acute withdrawal symptoms are:
Mood swings
Anxiety
Irritability
Tiredness
Variable energy
Low enthusiasm
Variable concentration
Disturbed sleep
Post-acute withdrawal feels like a rollercoaster of symptoms that come and go. In the beginning, your symptoms will change minute to minute and hour to hour. Later as you recovery further they will disappear for a few weeks or months only to return again. As you continue to recover the good stretches will get longer and longer. But the bad periods of post-acute withdrawal can be just as intense and last just as long.
Post-acute withdrawal usually lasts for 2 years. This is one of the most important things you need to remember. If you're up for to challenge you can get though this. But if you think that post-acute withdrawal will only last for a few months, then you'll get caught off guard, and when you're disappointed you're more likely to relapse.
Each post-acute withdrawal episode usually last for a few days. There is no obvious trigger for most episodes. You will wake up one day feeling irritable and have low energy. If you hang on for just a few days, it will lift just as quickly as it started. After a while you'll develop confidence that you can get through post-acute withdrawal, because you'll know that each episode is time limited.
How to Survive Post-Acute Withdrawal
Be patient. Two years can feel like a long time if you're in a rush to get through it. You can't hurry recovery. But you can do it one day at a time.
If you try to rush your recovery, or resent post-acute withdrawal, or try to bulldoze your way through, you'll become exhausted. And when you're exhausted you'll think of using to escape.
Post-acute withdrawal symptoms are a sign that your brain is recovering. They are the result of your brain chemistry gradually going back to normal. Therefore don't resent them. But remember, even after one year, you are still only half way there.
Go with the flow. Withdrawal symptoms are uncomfortable. But the more you resent them the worse they'll seem. You'll have lots of good days over the next two years. Enjoy them. You'll also have lots of bad days. On those days, don't try to do too much. Take care of yourself, focus on your recovery, and you'll get through this.
Practice self-care. Give yourself lots of little breaks over the next two years. Tell yourself "what I am doing is enough." Be good to yourself. That is what most addicts can't do, and that's what you must learn in recovery. Recovery is the opposite of addiction.
Sometimes you'll have little energy or enthusiasm for anything. Understand this and don't over book your life. Give yourself permission to focus on your recovery.
Post-acute withdrawal can be a trigger for relapse. You'll go for weeks without any withdrawal symptoms, and then one day you'll wake up and your withdrawal will hit you like a ton of bricks. You'll have slept badly. You'll be in a bad mood. Your energy will be low. And if you're not prepared for it, if you think that post-acute withdrawal only lasts for a few months, or if you think that you'll be different and it won't be as bad for you, then you'll get caught off guard. If you know what to expect you can do this.
Remember, every relapse, no matter how small undoes the gains your brain has made during recovery. Without abstinence everything will fall apart. With abstinence everything is possible.
Recovery and Relapse Prevention Strategies
For more techniques on how to get through withdrawal and post-acute withdrawal look at the pages on recovery skills and relapse prevention strategies. You can recover from addiction.
There are two stages of withdrawal. The first stage is the acute stage, which usually lasts for a few weeks. During this stage, you may experience physical withdrawal symptoms. But every drug is different, and every person is different.
The second stage of withdrawal is called the Post Acute Withdrawal Syndrome (PAWS). During this stage you'll have fewer physical symptoms, but more emotional and psychological withdrawal symptoms.
Post-acute withdrawal occurs because your brain chemistry is gradually returning to normal. As your brain improves the levels of your brain chemicals fluctuate as they approach the new equilibrium causing post-acute withdrawal symptoms.
Most people experience some post-acute withdrawal symptoms. Whereas in the acute stage of withdrawal every person is different, in post-acute withdrawal most people have the same symptoms.
The Symptoms of Post-Acute Withdrawal
The most common post-acute withdrawal symptoms are:
Mood swings
Anxiety
Irritability
Tiredness
Variable energy
Low enthusiasm
Variable concentration
Disturbed sleep
Post-acute withdrawal feels like a rollercoaster of symptoms that come and go. In the beginning, your symptoms will change minute to minute and hour to hour. Later as you recovery further they will disappear for a few weeks or months only to return again. As you continue to recover the good stretches will get longer and longer. But the bad periods of post-acute withdrawal can be just as intense and last just as long.
Post-acute withdrawal usually lasts for 2 years. This is one of the most important things you need to remember. If you're up for to challenge you can get though this. But if you think that post-acute withdrawal will only last for a few months, then you'll get caught off guard, and when you're disappointed you're more likely to relapse.
Each post-acute withdrawal episode usually last for a few days. There is no obvious trigger for most episodes. You will wake up one day feeling irritable and have low energy. If you hang on for just a few days, it will lift just as quickly as it started. After a while you'll develop confidence that you can get through post-acute withdrawal, because you'll know that each episode is time limited.
How to Survive Post-Acute Withdrawal
Be patient. Two years can feel like a long time if you're in a rush to get through it. You can't hurry recovery. But you can do it one day at a time.
If you try to rush your recovery, or resent post-acute withdrawal, or try to bulldoze your way through, you'll become exhausted. And when you're exhausted you'll think of using to escape.
Post-acute withdrawal symptoms are a sign that your brain is recovering. They are the result of your brain chemistry gradually going back to normal. Therefore don't resent them. But remember, even after one year, you are still only half way there.
Go with the flow. Withdrawal symptoms are uncomfortable. But the more you resent them the worse they'll seem. You'll have lots of good days over the next two years. Enjoy them. You'll also have lots of bad days. On those days, don't try to do too much. Take care of yourself, focus on your recovery, and you'll get through this.
Practice self-care. Give yourself lots of little breaks over the next two years. Tell yourself "what I am doing is enough." Be good to yourself. That is what most addicts can't do, and that's what you must learn in recovery. Recovery is the opposite of addiction.
Sometimes you'll have little energy or enthusiasm for anything. Understand this and don't over book your life. Give yourself permission to focus on your recovery.
Post-acute withdrawal can be a trigger for relapse. You'll go for weeks without any withdrawal symptoms, and then one day you'll wake up and your withdrawal will hit you like a ton of bricks. You'll have slept badly. You'll be in a bad mood. Your energy will be low. And if you're not prepared for it, if you think that post-acute withdrawal only lasts for a few months, or if you think that you'll be different and it won't be as bad for you, then you'll get caught off guard. If you know what to expect you can do this.
Remember, every relapse, no matter how small undoes the gains your brain has made during recovery. Without abstinence everything will fall apart. With abstinence everything is possible.
Recovery and Relapse Prevention Strategies
For more techniques on how to get through withdrawal and post-acute withdrawal look at the pages on recovery skills and relapse prevention strategies. You can recover from addiction.
Feb 25, 2008 09:15PM
- 7 comments
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MY PERSONAL DIARY OF OXYCONTIN WITHDRAWAL.
May I briefly fill in a little background.I am David aged 55 and employed as a postman/driver/sorter, well up until 38 months ago I had never been into hospital,well boy was that about to change. I went to my GP complaning of no sense of smell, saw a surgeon and surgery was recomended, I was given a prescription for Prednisone, a steroid, this gave me some sense of smell, and here's the but, I had the operation and still could not smell, so more Prednisone, well the upshot is that the steroids have caused my Osteo-Necrosis, this is when the heads of the long bones die, so have now had core decompression on one hip and the other totally replaced.
Oxycontin.- While awaiting the scan results I was given oxycontin for pain relief, this seemed to do the trick for 2 weeks, 10mg 2x a day, then things hurt again so up the dose went 20mg 2x a day, then 40mg 2x a day, then 80mg 2x a day and up to 120mg 2x a day, recognise the scenereo anyone??..
Well after the operation I thought I'd better cut down as constipation was real bad issue, up to 45mins to pass what seemed like an Elephant, I even ruptured a nose blood vessel with the straining at one time, and as a friend who had had the same operation was off painkillers after 3 weeks I thought now's the time. ( 05/12/07 ) So taking the bull by the horns I cut down to 40mg 2x a day, and never expected what happens next.
Just after Christmas 07 my 40mg 2x a day started, then I caught a virus, and was very ill, and it just would not go away, nausea, aches and pains all over, I blamed it all on this virus, never really suspecting the real culprit, yes you know don't you, it was because I had cut down on the oxycontin, and my body was craving it, this went on for 7 weeks, until one day it dawned on me what it was, by this time I had become tired all the time, getting up early and doing nothing, then backwards and forwards to bed, never hardly going out or doing anything, it was such an effort just to have a bath once a week, and the constant yawning, and coughing in the morning was a real drag,Oh and when I told my GP about cutting down she said, and I quote, ' why would you want to do that ?. Eh AMAZED.
So Thursday 21/02/08 16:00 I got all the tablets I had, over 300, put them all in a bag and returned them to the chemist, and that was the start of my journey into the bowels of HELL!!!!! Below you will find my journey to reality ( Please remember I was suffering greatly when writing, so at times it may seem a bit emotional........And it was.
MY JOURNEY THROUGH WITHDRAWAL.
Thursday 4pm. Last of the Oxy ( This is how I will refer to the drug from now on.) Nauseaus through the night.
Friday 6am. Pain in legs and arms a bit of nausea, ache all over, no appitite.
Friday 10pm. Bed-No sleep at all ( up and down all night ), legs arms crazy could not rest or stay still, kicking quilt off then on , the standing up sitting, oh my arms and legs were a nightmare ( worst night I have ever experienced ).
Saturday am. had about 20 mins broken sleep, feel sick and ache all over, nausea, sweats hot/cold, have tried to sleep again - no success. Decide there and then to return the pills ( Oxy ) I am very very weepy and crying, I have lost 18 months of my life to those ******* tablets ( angry now, and more determined than ever to get my life back ).
Saturday 14:30 Started writing this diary.
Saturday 14:45 Tried to sleep again but arms and legs were going crazy, the pits.
Saturday 16:00 Went for 3 mile walk, very emotional, crying lots to myself at memories past occasions, legs hurt, arms hurt.
Saturday 17;30 Watch telly and chat with Terri, then on the computer to read more oxy horror stories, start to get shivers and feel wooly headed and sick, legs hurt and feel nauseas.
18;00 Collect curry, feel real bad, pint of Guiness was awful, felt really bad on way home, sick when stopped car/have meal/bed/cannot sleep up about 10 times, pains in legs arms and now shoulder.
11:00pm Yawning real bad and shoulders ache like crazy, eyes watering real bad legs hurt stomach feels on fire, this yawning is driving me mad, and hot/cold shivers, ( must stick at it )
Sunday 01;00am Weeping has calmed, but keep wanting to be sick to rid my body of the food, runny nose/sniffles and real bad wind,feel sick now, stomach aches.
Sunday 01:30am back to bed, went for a drive, could not stand crazy arms and legs any longer.
Sunday 02;45 back to bed no sleep crazy arms/legs/sweating real real bad hot/cold coughing/sneezing, and EXTREME CRAZY ARMS/LEGS.
Sunday 04;30 On computer, 60 hrs now feel clammy and sweaty and ache all over, have you heard of RESTLESS LEG SYNDROME, well think of that 10 times worse ( CRAZY LEGS/ARMS. )
To be Cont.......................................
Sunday 1 hours sleep, really sore, and strange dreams, am now really suffering from lack of sleep, try sleeping again breathing very hard, next thing thse cat wakes me, damm. will get up now, it's 09:45, legs really ache, but slept for an hour, legs hurt when sitting now, real pain or W/D symtoms??.64 hrs now, feel real sick and sweating.
Sunday 11:00am Went to see friend, felt a bit better and mind more focused on quitting, so cleaned car, went home ate some food, ( forced down ) Felt sicky. Then for a 3 mile walk, then to shop for Radox, then home 71hrs now, going to have a long bath.Tried to sleep, no joy so went for another 3 mile walk, pain in legs gets bad.
Sunday 18;30 Had to take Terri to hospital, ( bad cut to finger ). Home at 21;00 had some food, bed at 22:00, ARMS AND LEGS DRIVING ME CRAZY,REAL BAD,got up at 23:00 went on computer, then went for a drive, home at 01:30, back to bed, and after a lot of thrashing about, holy of holies I sleep for 3 hrs, wake up and dressing gown is drenched in sweat, back to bed get another 1hrs sleep, then up at 07:30. It's now Monday.
Monday 0945.Am feeling a bit better now, go see boss at work to explain ( goes ok ). then have a drive round, I find I am noticing things I took for granted before, things are in much sharper focus. Although I had real bad stomach cramps, the Flu like symtoms have all but gone. Did a 3 mile walk, then cooked my dinner, watched some TV, went to bed at 22:00 no sleep, mild crazy legs/arms. up, then back to bed, slept for an hour, then legs wake me 03:67 and writing this diary update.
Tuesday 08:15 got about 2 hrs sleep, those dreams are real strange, every time I get to a good bit the bloody legs wake me up.I am feeling the effects of sleep deprivation now, and am having trouble typing this, very sluggish and the legs are crawling at the moment, also started sneezing real bad, eyes so sore.Shoulders and back also a bit painful..
Tuesday 12:00 Am feeling quite ok, haircut/shave, look almost human lol, sister tells me my eyes look clearer than for a long time, nice to hear a positive comment, had a nice day.
Tuesday 15;45 tried to sleep with the help of a sleeping pill, 45 mins later got woken up. Got up went to see Dr, gave me a prescription for Zimovane, ( a sleeping pill ), but I went to the chemist and got some Kalms and Zinc Capsuals instead, my trust of tablets of any kind is at an all time low ( now why would that be ??.. ).
It's now 17:30 have one or two minor flushes, back aches a bit across shoulders, maybe being hunched over this darn computer, hey!!!! I said something funny, I must be on the mend a bit.
To be Cont........................
Tuesday 21'45.Went to bed, have taken some Zinc tablets ( taste great ) Kalms herbal pills and two sleeping pills, tried to watch telly, woke up switched it off, legs felt a bit zingy, but Mother of God I wake up at 06:45 on Wednesday, sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeept for almost 8hrs yeeeeeeeeeeeeeees.Legs feel stiff, but thats expected, back a bit achey, but thats to be expected also, as for the last 30 years I have been out of bed then walking over 6 miles every day( some over 12 ) and getting by on about 5/6 hrs sleep most days, then for the past 5 months doing hardly nothing.
Wednesday 07:16 well apart from the aches described above and a few sneezes, things look brighter, ( I might even open my Birthday cards and presents, birthday 24/02/08 lol ).
Wednesday 10:00 Had a real hot bath.
Wednesday 11:00 Very very bad sweating, real bad even footprints on patio slabs, feeel real sweaty now and have a chill running through me, arms really hurt, now yawning bad and sneezing ( I have read of day 6 being bad. 14:00 Feel real flu like symtoms and stomach cramps, ( but they have subsided in intensity.
Wednesday 14:30 went to bed, think I slept for an hour, wierd dreams hot, and a real bad temper mood, ( this maybe my daughters fault ). 16:30. Mood ( temper?? ) was real bad, feel a bit sweaty, stomach turning overand the chills, legs were crawling, but can walk that off.My energy levels seem to need a boost Hmmmm, Lucozade drink maybe ??..
Wednesday 17:00- 20:00 a bit shivery, 21:00 flu like symtoms return and am very tired, cold and shivers,also having bad mood swings. 21:30 take 2 sleeping pills and awake at 05:45.
7 DAYS 2 hrs NOW. ( CLEAN ).
Thursday 06:22 Think I must have slept for over 7hrs last night, feel a bit fluy and head a bit wooly, arms and legs ache a bit, energy low, but after the last week what can I expect, the birds a making a lovely racket this morning ( chorus anyone ).And blimey even a small thing like having a good old stretch is so pleasurable
7 DAYS 2 hrs NOW. ( CLEAN ).
Thursday 06:22 Think I must have slept for over 7hrs last night, feel a bit fluy and head a bit wooly, arms and legs ache a bit, energy low, but after the last week what can I expect, the birds a making a lovely racket this morning ( chorus anyone ).
Thursday 18:30 all the flu like symtoms have returned, feel hot, dizzy and headaches, dam, I thought that part was over, tried to have a nap an hour ago, bloody legs were bad, bit in the arms as well, didn't expect this, goes to show you've to keep your guard up at all times, very bad tempered at the moment.
WEEK TWO.
Friday 07:00 Legs were a bit crawly but slept until 06:00, sweats not to bad, although those bloody wierd dreams are very strange. My legs ache and arms are heavy. Unable to gauge my mood, seems you are never sure if it's you or the oxycraptin, I have read that it can take a year to really be out of your system and that it can damage thre neuro-transmitters.
Friday 14:30 legs and arms not to bad, have been for a long drive and a couple of walks, a funny low emotional feeling sometimes sweeps over me when I visit the past. I then have to keep busy and not dwell ( this helps ). Still not got much of an appitite though, I am taking lots of vitamins, and loads of water, smoking slashed in half..
I have just recieved this post and it is a bit of a worry.
Hey, I've been clean for 3 weeks, and I just want to share what's going on, kind of to forwarn....I hope this doesn't happen to you...I started sleeping fine. after the initial withdrawls passed-after a week or so...then I started to have panic attacks and felt depressed at about 4 pm-6 pm every day. I'd get anxiety about social gatherings etc. Now, for the past 3-4 days I can't fall asleep, I have horrible dreams about doctors forcing narcotics on me, I wake up in the middle of the night, and I cried all day long yesterday. I feel full blown depression coming on. I've never been depressed, I mean truly depressed in my life. I'm not trying to scare you at all....I just want you to be aware that just because the physicals seem over, doesn't mean it's over. My counselor just called and said I'm going through secondary withdrawls and this could last for months....I've heard people say this, but in disbelief. Now I believe. She said this drug has damaged our neurotransmitters. and it may take up to a year for it to correct and possibly need help with antidepressents. I just wanted to tell you the reality. Because I thought the worst was over....and it isn't, at least for me. I know how horrible the emotions are. To hear and see a grown man to his knees tells me I'm not just overreacting as a crazy woman....this is real.....be safe....you are not alone.
Oh dear!!!! I hope I miss that bit, just when things seem to be getting better.
Saturday09:00 Not feeling to bad, but seem to feel very low at the moment, seems like I'm a bit fogged up, still a bit shivery, and get chills occasionly, and sneexing, and that awful taste and smell YUK! Went out Saturday night with some friends but although enjoyable I had the wierdest feeling of not wanting to be there.
Sunday 01:00 Took 2 sleepiing pills, the crazy arms/legs have returned tonight, nowhere near as severe, ( had two pints, that maybe ?? ).
Sunday 09:00 woke up feeling low, let's hope it passes.
Sunday 13;30 low feeling persists, but trying to think positive thoughts, bloody hard sometimes, at least the emotional weepy feelings of past times and places is getting better, for now!!!. Let's hope It's another of the feelings over with. I am rather tired, exhausted really, and energy levels seem real low, I suppose this might be a response to the W/D, hope so, pain in the lsft leg is the real thing ( will have to learn to live with it, at the moment it's on and off, but not severe, just niggly ) .
Sunday 14;00 went bed for a while, legs were ok, ache a bit and chills, coughing a bit now.
Sunday 20;45 Have been for a drive, watched sun go down over an old aifield, clouds and sun were great, me or the remains of the drug???? I seem to be more lucid at the moment, I am looking forward to going to bed, dare I try without the sleepers, I will keep you posted.
Sunday 01:00 Took 2 sleepiing pills, the crazy arms/legs have returned tonight, nowhere near as severe, ( had two pints, that maybe ?? ).
Sunday 09:00 woke up feeling low, let's hope it passes.
Sunday 13;30 low feeling persists, but trying to think positive thoughts, bloody hard sometimes, at least the emotional weepy feelings of past times and places is getting better, for now!!!. Let's hope It's another of the feelings over with. I am rather tired, exhausted really, and energy levels seem real low, I suppose this might be a response to the W/D, hope so, pain in the lsft leg is the real thing ( will have to learn to live with it, at the moment it's on and off, but not severe, just niggly ) .
Sunday 14;00 went bed for a while, legs were ok, ache a bit and chills, coughing a bit now.
Sunday 20;45 Have been for a drive, watched sun go down over an old aifield, clouds and sun were great, me or the remains of the drug???? I seem to be more lucid at the moment, I am looking forward to going to bed, dare I try without the sleepers, I will keep you posted.
Monday 05;30 Had quite a good nights sleep, although still feel tired, and have the chills. Throughout the day I had a few low periods and do not yet feel the drug is out of my system, and I am yearning to be my old self. Through some research I have learned that using sleeping pills is not the answer and have decided to stop using them. It takes time for the brains receptors to begin making it's own chemicals again natuarally and the taking of any kind of drug ( not natural ones ) can upset this process.
Tuesday 07;30 After trying hard to sleep without the pills I gave in and had just a half one ( from 2 on previous nights ) I slept but had vivid dreams that I wish would go away as they seem to exhaust me.
Tuesday 18;30 not a bad day, but am really exhausted, feel goose bumps crawling up my back and arms,thighs still very stiff, although when I walk a bit, it helps to disperse, just will have to keep active.
THREE WEEKS PLUS.
Sunday 16/03/08. Well 3 weeks and 3 days have passed, I have since returned to work. I find keeping occupied is the best thing, but the fatigue and the pain in arms and legs are real bad some days.
WARNING.
I had read that symtoms can return at anytime, well that seems to be the case, I ache all over today, ( same yesterday ) and my skin feels as if I have rolled in some stinging nettles, arms and legs in particular. A feeling of general unwellnesss all over, the only thing I seem to want to do is sleep, but that's not going to happen without sleeping pills, and I only take them at night ( another pill to stop asap ).
My mental problems from withdrawal are not yet over as I am not yet able to mix and socialise as I once did. I feel the need to be alone overpowering sometimes, maybe not a good thing, I will need to exercise more as that helps, but it's a merry go round, more exercise equals more tired, but then cannot sleep equals more fatigue, am at a loss.
At least I am not climbing the walls like the first few days, only minor sweats, a bit of coughing and bouts of sneezing, so I suppose it could be much worse, I have read on the forum about people thinking they are over the W/D only to be reminded they are not out of the blue.
May I briefly fill in a little background.I am David aged 55 and employed as a postman/driver/sorter, well up until 38 months ago I had never been into hospital,well boy was that about to change. I went to my GP complaning of no sense of smell, saw a surgeon and surgery was recomended, I was given a prescription for Prednisone, a steroid, this gave me some sense of smell, and here's the but, I had the operation and still could not smell, so more Prednisone, well the upshot is that the steroids have caused my Osteo-Necrosis, this is when the heads of the long bones die, so have now had core decompression on one hip and the other totally replaced.
Oxycontin.- While awaiting the scan results I was given oxycontin for pain relief, this seemed to do the trick for 2 weeks, 10mg 2x a day, then things hurt again so up the dose went 20mg 2x a day, then 40mg 2x a day, then 80mg 2x a day and up to 120mg 2x a day, recognise the scenereo anyone??..
Well after the operation I thought I'd better cut down as constipation was real bad issue, up to 45mins to pass what seemed like an Elephant, I even ruptured a nose blood vessel with the straining at one time, and as a friend who had had the same operation was off painkillers after 3 weeks I thought now's the time. ( 05/12/07 ) So taking the bull by the horns I cut down to 40mg 2x a day, and never expected what happens next.
Just after Christmas 07 my 40mg 2x a day started, then I caught a virus, and was very ill, and it just would not go away, nausea, aches and pains all over, I blamed it all on this virus, never really suspecting the real culprit, yes you know don't you, it was because I had cut down on the oxycontin, and my body was craving it, this went on for 7 weeks, until one day it dawned on me what it was, by this time I had become tired all the time, getting up early and doing nothing, then backwards and forwards to bed, never hardly going out or doing anything, it was such an effort just to have a bath once a week, and the constant yawning, and coughing in the morning was a real drag,Oh and when I told my GP about cutting down she said, and I quote, ' why would you want to do that ?. Eh AMAZED.
So Thursday 21/02/08 16:00 I got all the tablets I had, over 300, put them all in a bag and returned them to the chemist, and that was the start of my journey into the bowels of HELL!!!!! Below you will find my journey to reality ( Please remember I was suffering greatly when writing, so at times it may seem a bit emotional........And it was.
MY JOURNEY THROUGH WITHDRAWAL.
Thursday 4pm. Last of the Oxy ( This is how I will refer to the drug from now on.) Nauseaus through the night.
Friday 6am. Pain in legs and arms a bit of nausea, ache all over, no appitite.
Friday 10pm. Bed-No sleep at all ( up and down all night ), legs arms crazy could not rest or stay still, kicking quilt off then on , the standing up sitting, oh my arms and legs were a nightmare ( worst night I have ever experienced ).
Saturday am. had about 20 mins broken sleep, feel sick and ache all over, nausea, sweats hot/cold, have tried to sleep again - no success. Decide there and then to return the pills ( Oxy ) I am very very weepy and crying, I have lost 18 months of my life to those ******* tablets ( angry now, and more determined than ever to get my life back ).
Saturday 14:30 Started writing this diary.
Saturday 14:45 Tried to sleep again but arms and legs were going crazy, the pits.
Saturday 16:00 Went for 3 mile walk, very emotional, crying lots to myself at memories past occasions, legs hurt, arms hurt.
Saturday 17;30 Watch telly and chat with Terri, then on the computer to read more oxy horror stories, start to get shivers and feel wooly headed and sick, legs hurt and feel nauseas.
18;00 Collect curry, feel real bad, pint of Guiness was awful, felt really bad on way home, sick when stopped car/have meal/bed/cannot sleep up about 10 times, pains in legs arms and now shoulder.
11:00pm Yawning real bad and shoulders ache like crazy, eyes watering real bad legs hurt stomach feels on fire, this yawning is driving me mad, and hot/cold shivers, ( must stick at it )
Sunday 01;00am Weeping has calmed, but keep wanting to be sick to rid my body of the food, runny nose/sniffles and real bad wind,feel sick now, stomach aches.
Sunday 01:30am back to bed, went for a drive, could not stand crazy arms and legs any longer.
Sunday 02;45 back to bed no sleep crazy arms/legs/sweating real real bad hot/cold coughing/sneezing, and EXTREME CRAZY ARMS/LEGS.
Sunday 04;30 On computer, 60 hrs now feel clammy and sweaty and ache all over, have you heard of RESTLESS LEG SYNDROME, well think of that 10 times worse ( CRAZY LEGS/ARMS. )
To be Cont.......................................
Sunday 1 hours sleep, really sore, and strange dreams, am now really suffering from lack of sleep, try sleeping again breathing very hard, next thing thse cat wakes me, damm. will get up now, it's 09:45, legs really ache, but slept for an hour, legs hurt when sitting now, real pain or W/D symtoms??.64 hrs now, feel real sick and sweating.
Sunday 11:00am Went to see friend, felt a bit better and mind more focused on quitting, so cleaned car, went home ate some food, ( forced down ) Felt sicky. Then for a 3 mile walk, then to shop for Radox, then home 71hrs now, going to have a long bath.Tried to sleep, no joy so went for another 3 mile walk, pain in legs gets bad.
Sunday 18;30 Had to take Terri to hospital, ( bad cut to finger ). Home at 21;00 had some food, bed at 22:00, ARMS AND LEGS DRIVING ME CRAZY,REAL BAD,got up at 23:00 went on computer, then went for a drive, home at 01:30, back to bed, and after a lot of thrashing about, holy of holies I sleep for 3 hrs, wake up and dressing gown is drenched in sweat, back to bed get another 1hrs sleep, then up at 07:30. It's now Monday.
Monday 0945.Am feeling a bit better now, go see boss at work to explain ( goes ok ). then have a drive round, I find I am noticing things I took for granted before, things are in much sharper focus. Although I had real bad stomach cramps, the Flu like symtoms have all but gone. Did a 3 mile walk, then cooked my dinner, watched some TV, went to bed at 22:00 no sleep, mild crazy legs/arms. up, then back to bed, slept for an hour, then legs wake me 03:67 and writing this diary update.
Tuesday 08:15 got about 2 hrs sleep, those dreams are real strange, every time I get to a good bit the bloody legs wake me up.I am feeling the effects of sleep deprivation now, and am having trouble typing this, very sluggish and the legs are crawling at the moment, also started sneezing real bad, eyes so sore.Shoulders and back also a bit painful..
Tuesday 12:00 Am feeling quite ok, haircut/shave, look almost human lol, sister tells me my eyes look clearer than for a long time, nice to hear a positive comment, had a nice day.
Tuesday 15;45 tried to sleep with the help of a sleeping pill, 45 mins later got woken up. Got up went to see Dr, gave me a prescription for Zimovane, ( a sleeping pill ), but I went to the chemist and got some Kalms and Zinc Capsuals instead, my trust of tablets of any kind is at an all time low ( now why would that be ??.. ).
It's now 17:30 have one or two minor flushes, back aches a bit across shoulders, maybe being hunched over this darn computer, hey!!!! I said something funny, I must be on the mend a bit.
To be Cont........................
Tuesday 21'45.Went to bed, have taken some Zinc tablets ( taste great ) Kalms herbal pills and two sleeping pills, tried to watch telly, woke up switched it off, legs felt a bit zingy, but Mother of God I wake up at 06:45 on Wednesday, sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeept for almost 8hrs yeeeeeeeeeeeeeees.Legs feel stiff, but thats expected, back a bit achey, but thats to be expected also, as for the last 30 years I have been out of bed then walking over 6 miles every day( some over 12 ) and getting by on about 5/6 hrs sleep most days, then for the past 5 months doing hardly nothing.
Wednesday 07:16 well apart from the aches described above and a few sneezes, things look brighter, ( I might even open my Birthday cards and presents, birthday 24/02/08 lol ).
Wednesday 10:00 Had a real hot bath.
Wednesday 11:00 Very very bad sweating, real bad even footprints on patio slabs, feeel real sweaty now and have a chill running through me, arms really hurt, now yawning bad and sneezing ( I have read of day 6 being bad. 14:00 Feel real flu like symtoms and stomach cramps, ( but they have subsided in intensity.
Wednesday 14:30 went to bed, think I slept for an hour, wierd dreams hot, and a real bad temper mood, ( this maybe my daughters fault ). 16:30. Mood ( temper?? ) was real bad, feel a bit sweaty, stomach turning overand the chills, legs were crawling, but can walk that off.My energy levels seem to need a boost Hmmmm, Lucozade drink maybe ??..
Wednesday 17:00- 20:00 a bit shivery, 21:00 flu like symtoms return and am very tired, cold and shivers,also having bad mood swings. 21:30 take 2 sleeping pills and awake at 05:45.
7 DAYS 2 hrs NOW. ( CLEAN ).
Thursday 06:22 Think I must have slept for over 7hrs last night, feel a bit fluy and head a bit wooly, arms and legs ache a bit, energy low, but after the last week what can I expect, the birds a making a lovely racket this morning ( chorus anyone ).And blimey even a small thing like having a good old stretch is so pleasurable
7 DAYS 2 hrs NOW. ( CLEAN ).
Thursday 06:22 Think I must have slept for over 7hrs last night, feel a bit fluy and head a bit wooly, arms and legs ache a bit, energy low, but after the last week what can I expect, the birds a making a lovely racket this morning ( chorus anyone ).
Thursday 18:30 all the flu like symtoms have returned, feel hot, dizzy and headaches, dam, I thought that part was over, tried to have a nap an hour ago, bloody legs were bad, bit in the arms as well, didn't expect this, goes to show you've to keep your guard up at all times, very bad tempered at the moment.
WEEK TWO.
Friday 07:00 Legs were a bit crawly but slept until 06:00, sweats not to bad, although those bloody wierd dreams are very strange. My legs ache and arms are heavy. Unable to gauge my mood, seems you are never sure if it's you or the oxycraptin, I have read that it can take a year to really be out of your system and that it can damage thre neuro-transmitters.
Friday 14:30 legs and arms not to bad, have been for a long drive and a couple of walks, a funny low emotional feeling sometimes sweeps over me when I visit the past. I then have to keep busy and not dwell ( this helps ). Still not got much of an appitite though, I am taking lots of vitamins, and loads of water, smoking slashed in half..
I have just recieved this post and it is a bit of a worry.
Hey, I've been clean for 3 weeks, and I just want to share what's going on, kind of to forwarn....I hope this doesn't happen to you...I started sleeping fine. after the initial withdrawls passed-after a week or so...then I started to have panic attacks and felt depressed at about 4 pm-6 pm every day. I'd get anxiety about social gatherings etc. Now, for the past 3-4 days I can't fall asleep, I have horrible dreams about doctors forcing narcotics on me, I wake up in the middle of the night, and I cried all day long yesterday. I feel full blown depression coming on. I've never been depressed, I mean truly depressed in my life. I'm not trying to scare you at all....I just want you to be aware that just because the physicals seem over, doesn't mean it's over. My counselor just called and said I'm going through secondary withdrawls and this could last for months....I've heard people say this, but in disbelief. Now I believe. She said this drug has damaged our neurotransmitters. and it may take up to a year for it to correct and possibly need help with antidepressents. I just wanted to tell you the reality. Because I thought the worst was over....and it isn't, at least for me. I know how horrible the emotions are. To hear and see a grown man to his knees tells me I'm not just overreacting as a crazy woman....this is real.....be safe....you are not alone.
Oh dear!!!! I hope I miss that bit, just when things seem to be getting better.
Saturday09:00 Not feeling to bad, but seem to feel very low at the moment, seems like I'm a bit fogged up, still a bit shivery, and get chills occasionly, and sneexing, and that awful taste and smell YUK! Went out Saturday night with some friends but although enjoyable I had the wierdest feeling of not wanting to be there.
Sunday 01:00 Took 2 sleepiing pills, the crazy arms/legs have returned tonight, nowhere near as severe, ( had two pints, that maybe ?? ).
Sunday 09:00 woke up feeling low, let's hope it passes.
Sunday 13;30 low feeling persists, but trying to think positive thoughts, bloody hard sometimes, at least the emotional weepy feelings of past times and places is getting better, for now!!!. Let's hope It's another of the feelings over with. I am rather tired, exhausted really, and energy levels seem real low, I suppose this might be a response to the W/D, hope so, pain in the lsft leg is the real thing ( will have to learn to live with it, at the moment it's on and off, but not severe, just niggly ) .
Sunday 14;00 went bed for a while, legs were ok, ache a bit and chills, coughing a bit now.
Sunday 20;45 Have been for a drive, watched sun go down over an old aifield, clouds and sun were great, me or the remains of the drug???? I seem to be more lucid at the moment, I am looking forward to going to bed, dare I try without the sleepers, I will keep you posted.
Sunday 01:00 Took 2 sleepiing pills, the crazy arms/legs have returned tonight, nowhere near as severe, ( had two pints, that maybe ?? ).
Sunday 09:00 woke up feeling low, let's hope it passes.
Sunday 13;30 low feeling persists, but trying to think positive thoughts, bloody hard sometimes, at least the emotional weepy feelings of past times and places is getting better, for now!!!. Let's hope It's another of the feelings over with. I am rather tired, exhausted really, and energy levels seem real low, I suppose this might be a response to the W/D, hope so, pain in the lsft leg is the real thing ( will have to learn to live with it, at the moment it's on and off, but not severe, just niggly ) .
Sunday 14;00 went bed for a while, legs were ok, ache a bit and chills, coughing a bit now.
Sunday 20;45 Have been for a drive, watched sun go down over an old aifield, clouds and sun were great, me or the remains of the drug???? I seem to be more lucid at the moment, I am looking forward to going to bed, dare I try without the sleepers, I will keep you posted.
Monday 05;30 Had quite a good nights sleep, although still feel tired, and have the chills. Throughout the day I had a few low periods and do not yet feel the drug is out of my system, and I am yearning to be my old self. Through some research I have learned that using sleeping pills is not the answer and have decided to stop using them. It takes time for the brains receptors to begin making it's own chemicals again natuarally and the taking of any kind of drug ( not natural ones ) can upset this process.
Tuesday 07;30 After trying hard to sleep without the pills I gave in and had just a half one ( from 2 on previous nights ) I slept but had vivid dreams that I wish would go away as they seem to exhaust me.
Tuesday 18;30 not a bad day, but am really exhausted, feel goose bumps crawling up my back and arms,thighs still very stiff, although when I walk a bit, it helps to disperse, just will have to keep active.
THREE WEEKS PLUS.
Sunday 16/03/08. Well 3 weeks and 3 days have passed, I have since returned to work. I find keeping occupied is the best thing, but the fatigue and the pain in arms and legs are real bad some days.
WARNING.
I had read that symtoms can return at anytime, well that seems to be the case, I ache all over today, ( same yesterday ) and my skin feels as if I have rolled in some stinging nettles, arms and legs in particular. A feeling of general unwellnesss all over, the only thing I seem to want to do is sleep, but that's not going to happen without sleeping pills, and I only take them at night ( another pill to stop asap ).
My mental problems from withdrawal are not yet over as I am not yet able to mix and socialise as I once did. I feel the need to be alone overpowering sometimes, maybe not a good thing, I will need to exercise more as that helps, but it's a merry go round, more exercise equals more tired, but then cannot sleep equals more fatigue, am at a loss.
At least I am not climbing the walls like the first few days, only minor sweats, a bit of coughing and bouts of sneezing, so I suppose it could be much worse, I have read on the forum about people thinking they are over the W/D only to be reminded they are not out of the blue.