I get tired of dealing with loss...then again who doesn't?! It all happens at the same time though!!!!! WHY?? Maybe to distract us.
I am so upset about losing my dog. He was like Family, my best friend. I don't know how to deal with this so I keep putting it off and that's not good. I am so angry about it I can't even cry. I know it will get better I just hate this part.
what lesson do we learn from loss?? That's what I can't seem to understand....and we get so much of it!! Am I to gain something now that I have lost something? Or did I just lose something just to remember I don't have it anymore?
I just wasn't ready to lose my best buddy yet...not like this! That's life for you! Give me all I can't handle and then some more.
I hope he is in a good place now. And I hope this time will pass quickly.

I decided to journal today. I have had alot on my mind lately. Resulting in restlessness with the occasional spell of insomina! So maybe I can relive my little mind by expressing it....never hurts to try!!!

I have become so overwhelmed with joe's whole condition....I am so tired of the constant feeling of being helpless, what can I do ? I know he is in constant pain and all I can do is watch! I need a day when he can just suck it up, just one day as a special presant to me. I have asked him to please give me one day, but I guess he just can't...and I know it's not his fault. what can i do? I guess that's more of a retorical question than anything!LOL. I't Just gets old..like anything else I suppose!    He is so worth it though.... X 1 million billion!!

Work is getting to be stressful...although I don't let that worry me, It to just gets old! I am over qualifyed for my job, yet I stay for the fact that it's close...for the most part comfortable....and I love the Owner so much...and most of my co- workers..lol!  I am just ready I guess to to go back to school and do something I am good at!  I have decided that psyoanalyis is my correct place in this world.....Now I must go register @ the collage.

I am ready to go to see my family in TX! Looking foward to the trip. I need to do some swimming and my mom has an awesome pool...plus we are going to search for treasure!!!!! Going to the old volcano gonna get me some incendary basalt.. full of ovaline plus I know I could find all kinds of awesome minerals all over that place!!! SUPER EXCITED!

Now I feel a little better!!! Expressing some of what's on mind did help!!

THE SUN IS SHINING TODAY!!! WHAT A WELCOME CHANGE, AND I DON'T HAVE A HEAD ACHE!!!  SO IT'S A GOOD DAY.

ENDO VISIT WENT REAL GOOD!!  GLAD TO BE FEELING NORMAL, I FORGOT WHAT IT WAS LIKE HOPEFULLY I'LL BE FEELING GOOD FROM NOW ON!! I DO , HOWEVER HAVE A CONSTANT MIAGRAINE OR HOW EVER IT'S SPELLED! BUT I CAN LIVE WITH IT ( AS LONG AS I HAVE THE MEDICINE )  BUT ALL IS WELL AND I GO BACK TO THE ENDO ON OCT. 7th.