My Recovery Tracker Journals
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Mistakes = Acceptance

Feb 05, 2013 - 0 comments

Ok, so I drank alcohol again, I blackout again, and I remember disrespecting myself again.
I am deeply a shame of what I remember I said and done while in my addiction. But I have finally accepted that I just can't drink. I am tired of the same action and reaction. I need to change or I will end up in a nut house. The depression is due to my drinking and blackouts. always praying to change and hoping my boyfriend won't hear of anything I've done or said.
This addiction has replayed itself the same over and over again. I just don't want to fall into the same hole on the sidewalk again. I have to learn to take a different road, a safer road where every step will be safe for me.

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Can't deal.

Jan 05, 2013 - 3 comments

It was saturday. the weekend, and I'm very shaky plus craving. And it happened I had two drinks before dinner.
  I felt so weak that day and couldn't stop thinking about having a drink. I just couldn't help myself :(

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Still Sober :)

Jan 02, 2013 - 1 comments

Still sober but, still craving. I think about drinking again but I try to remember what drinking does for me. It's hard and lots of times I hate myself for being a alcoholic. I don't understand how I could want something that breaks me down so bad.
It really angers me.

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CRAVINGS & New Years Eve :-/

Dec 30, 2012 - 0 comments

I feel the strong urge creeping in. The cravings to be out doing thing other people are going to be doing this Monday. I'm weak and the thought of celebration  is entertaining my mind.
Though fighting to keep that thought away. Hoping I can stay sober this NYE.

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