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Rough Day- Need to change and deal.

Apr 13, 2013 - 1 comments
Tags:

rough day

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changes

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stress

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Period

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needs

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deal



I woke up in an absolutely dandy mood, but then when I had had a shower and got ready for some reason the other half got set off, and to my almost disbelief expressed how he thought the relationship was going, which in my eyes was not how I believed it was going. He expressed how he thought I was getting boring, moody and horrible. How he thought I had nasty swipes and put him down. Myself I haven't realised this happening myself but I can in fact see where his coming from. At the time I didn't know what to say or how to respond, or even make him feel better or reassure him, which in hind sight is the wrong thing, but it couldn't be helped. Now after time to reflect I can totally see his point, and even though I have no excuse for the behavior that makes him feel that way, I personally believe it's due to a lot of stress on my behalf, making me behave in ways I wouldn't normally. It all started when I found out about my Auntie having terminal cancer, which obviously is very stressful to any member of the family, and even though I have, or at least seemed to have moved past the most grieving part of things, and have settled into the news, it's obviously still a stressful time for me. Then there's the fact that I feel like I'm stuck in a dead end part time job, that only pays me enough to scrap through and nothing else. which over time has had a very gradual stress build up for me, but I'm hoping to resolve this by looking at going to uni for midwifery, which can take me into an actual career. Then there's the fact that I miss my female friends and I'm craving it. friends are benificial to my relationship too, because I can get things out and they don't clench up and explode in the actual relationship, so having friends straight off the bat de-sensitizes stress and bad behavior within the relationship itself. But because I keep trying to get in touch with friends and have no luck, I'm not getting this release and I'm getting frustrated which is in return causing a stress and uptight atmosphere. And just to top it all off I've had my first period in ages, and all the hormone have come rushing back, causing frustration and irritability. Ideally I need advice and support on the best thing to do, and how to better manage myself.

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BLAHH To That Time

Apr 10, 2013 - 0 comments
Tags:

Period

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cramps

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pill



Well, other than waking up with yet another hangover, I also was suffering with cramps, and generally feeling horrible, and apart from suffering from pregnancy like symptoms for about 2 weeks, I have finally had my first period, since deciding the pill has been messing me around. God I do not miss this. At least I haven't had PMS on the lead up to it, Instead I'm just suffering with major cramping and head aches. Instead  I've been quite the opposite to PMS, where I've been feeling extremely loving. Guess it's a positive PMS. But whey, hopefully my body gets back in tune with itself now.

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Hit the Downer

Apr 07, 2013 - 2 comments
Tags:

downers

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pressure

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strains

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Relationships



Since last night the other half has been reflecting his self confidence issues on me. His see's it as a jokey thing that I won't take it to heart, but after so many "fat" and "ugly" 'jokes' it starts to put a downer on things, and even worse it starts to put a resentment there, keeping a firm distance between us, which is not good at all. I know it's his insecurities because of certain behaviors and tell tell signs. To top it off, I'm now worrying about work and money, and frustrated that I haven't had a reply about seeing my aunt. All of this building up and causing pressure. But I've not took it out on anyone so That's a good thing, instead I'm loosing interest in everything.

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Happy days

Apr 06, 2013 - 0 comments
Tags:

happy

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Exercise



Rather the Happy Person the last few days, and to top it off, off the 5htp. Exercise is good I think, keeps me happy, and the fact that I'm exploring different means of exercise, keeps it refreshing and interesting, and something to work towards.
Feeling very good in myself lately so hopefully it keeps up, juts have to maintain the lifestyle, and/or pin point what part of the lifestyle is having such a good effect on my mood.  

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