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No one is talking to me

Apr 07, 2013 - 2 comments

I posted my question about my son and no one has responded yet, which usually means that they are not going to.  All of the "friends" I used to message are not responding to me either.  This site is starting to have a negative impact instead of positive.  Maybe that is why I am missing days.  Why come on if it is just ganna make me feel more alone?

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Friend's gma's funeral

Apr 06, 2013 - 0 comments
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So, the friend that I haven't talked to in a while who I recently went to the wedding of had her grandma's funeral today.  I have known her grandma since I was 14.  I think she liked me in spite of all the times me and my friend got in trouble growing up.  The older I got I think the more she liked me.  This was a friend who was my best friend twice in life, once as teenagers and then again when we got back together in our mid twenties.  Then she left me again for a better friend I guess, I didn't think so, but whatever.  She told me she was not talking to her anymore either but it seems she is always still there and she still assumes that she has a special place to sit where family is supposed to sit.  I sat behind my friend and her brother and comforted them a few times with holding and rubbing backs.  I have always been there for her and her family and I do not know why she is the one always there in my way.  Everytime my friend and I parted it was because of her.  I had a baby, and she didn't like it or whatever and she stopped calling me.  Then she got back together with a man who abused and cheated on her and I made my point known and she stopped talking to me.  Then she moved an hour away and didn't let me know where or anything.  Then, she got this new friend.  It seems I am always the one getting hurt.  I don't even know if I want to be friends with her again.  This new friend is also like her moms best friend too, so how can I compete with that.  Also though, she is a party animal, alcoholic.  Now, I don't think that is a good thing for my friend, but obviously she likes that more then sober.  So, I don't know what will happen, but I don't want to be hurt again, I know that much.

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Finances suck

Apr 05, 2013 - 0 comments
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So, at 12am I decided to look at my check books and my bills.  Well, I did this because I need a new cell phone because mine got soda in the battery.  So, unhappiness starts there.  I found out that with all my spending sprees lately, I have no money.  Like litterally $50 to my name.  I have a $180 energy bill due the 9th.  $29 and $37 phone bills due the 9th, $132 water bill overdue by a few days already and now this.  So, I was crying my eyes out.  I could not believe it and started going through my reciepts to see what I could return.  It turned out nothing.  I took the tags off and have worn and used everything that I bought over the past few weeks.  So, then I started thinking about when I will get money which is between the 9th and 12th.  I am going to have barely any money to buy food because just about all my money will have to go to my bills that I have not paid.  Then, today I did have to return the two shirts I had got my dad for his birthday because they didn't fit.  So, that was $25 in my pocket until I get out to replace them.  My sons melatonin was not covered and that was $10, but when you have o money, that is a lot.  Also, my son didn't want to stay with his sister while I stood in line for the return, so they were going at it when I got out to the car.  She was all upset and so was he and the hating and I know and all that was driving me nuts.  Now, I have to clean up because my cousin Jake is coming to watch my son for me to go to my friends gma's funeral tomm.  I also have to pick out clothes for that still.  Anyway.  Sucked from 12am on.

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Not to much going on

Apr 03, 2013 - 0 comments
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good



Slept a lot of the morning because I forgot to take my morning meds.  Woke up with a headache and grogginess but went away after I took the meds.  Everyone was pretty peaceful today, no real big fights or anything.  Didn't come on last night because I was so tired and my hip was hurting from an injection I had yesterday.  So, hopefully back for good now for at least a while.

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