Jan 20, 2013
have been going to a methadone clinic since I found out I was pregnant in August. I had been told that this was the only option if I wanted to keep the baby, as detox was not an option and the clinic informed me I would have a miscarriage if I didn't get in and stay in the program. So I did what I though was best for the baby, and started attending the clinic.
I am 28 weeks along and have only met with the clinic physician on 2 different occasions even though I have had many problems and concerns I just seem to get put off every time...
I don't know if my dose is where is should be I swear I'm doing all the treatment on my own from the counselors job to the doctors...as they have no input on my dose I guess??? If I say I don't feel good, and wonder if my dose should be raised they just raise it. They have a newer nurse and she has made mistakes several times...the protocol states during pregnancy to only raise 10mg per day...I'm on a split dose...she raised both am & pm dose giving me 20 mg increase. I didn't realize this of coarse until after dosing I felt very sedated and began to worry,..I had looked at the bottle and seen the mistake I had no idea it was my job to double check the nurses. Now I check every time...
To this day I still do not have a treatment plan...I have been through 6 counselors since I started in August...that's an average of 1 a month...the latest counselor is no longer with the clinic because she is dating a patient.
There was an incident the day before thanksgiving, the slowest most hectic day since I began at the clinic...I had checked in at 5:30AM...sat down waited very patiently it was after 8:00AM when I finally got to the dosing room where I was told I was a liar and they refused to dose me...they said I was on hold to see the doctor...no one told me this....somehow I was put on hold in between checking in at front desk and waiting to dose...which is against the policy...I said that was fine I will see the doc but asked for my am dose as I was feeling very sick and starting to withdrawal at this point I am used to doing at 5:30-6am...he said no because I need to wait my turn since he said I lied and never checked in at all...which the receptionist later confirmed that yes I did check in and no I didn't have a hold when she checked me in...the receptionist talked with a counselor and they directed the nurses to administer my am dose it's protocol cause I'm pregnant...I waited another 15-20 mins they called my # and it was the female nurse this time...she also refused to dose me started yelling that i was lying and to wait my turn...very frustrated at this point I wanted to leave...the receptionist went in the dosing room told me to stay there she ran to check me back in I was being yelled at the entire time I might add...I finally was given my 1st dose...then I waited to see the doc...told him what had happened and seemed he didn't care too much....later that day after I had called my OB doc told her what happened...she wrote a letter to the clinic for me to be fast tracked for the rest of the pregnancy...this meant I would no longer have to wait the receptionist would call back to the dose room and they would call me immediately I had thought this would be helpful...it was.
I was grabbed by some creep outside the clinic early one morning after being fast tracked I went to wait in the car for my fiancé to get done dosing...he was not fast tracked...this really scared me...I had informed counselors and dosing nurses they didn't seem to care about the incident...since I was scared from that point on I would not walk to the car on my own in the dark...I would simply wait for my fiancé to dose and we would leave together...
We began to get harassed by staff claiming I was hanging out at the clinic...this happened several times...even though they knew why I began to wait for him...my counselor came up with a "solution" she said to call her on our way there and she would check him in then I could check in once I got there with him that way we would be done at same time...also they took me off early am dosing idk why I need to dose this early so I can avoid starting withdrawal...they started making me go at that time now they change???
Back to the solution...so first day I called 3-4 times no answer...just voicemail...went in to dose and it was a mad house...we told the front desk what the counselor had set up...and she was furious...she lied saying she never said that...stating she said to us only call in advance when the clinic is busy.,.how are we to know from home if its busy??? So we waited a long time...patiently I might add...and of causes I was yelled at again for "hanging out"....the counselor finally said to one of the dosing nurses to go ahead and fast track my fiancé too from that day forward...we thought it was taken care of...boy were we wrong...now even though I have a doc note on file stating I medically need fast track somehow it was erased from the computer...and when the counselor went to grab my physical file it was locked up in a different counselors office???? When I finally went into the dosing room, I asked the dosing nurse why she didn't fast track me. She Said "I don't know why...but one of the counselors said not to fast track anymore" Since when does a drug & alcohol counselor override a doctors orders??? Upon leaving the clinic the counselor I had spoke with that day, she had told me the new director was working on it and will fix it..we'll see on Monday morning? I really have a fear that they are going to start messing with me more...I am already throwing up all of the time cause I'm so upset by all of this...whats next? I hear horror stories people saying the get popped with a dirty Urine test...when they really didn't use...I wonder if I should have my PCP, drug test me on a regular basis so if they try this I can prove them wrong???
I have never felt so wronged or defeated in my life...I mind my own business...don't get dirty ua's...go to group i am 100% compliant with treatment...still no treatment plan...and had earned some take home doses but the paperwork wasn't filed...
I'm really sick of dealing with this I don't feel that I should have to, I just want to get my medicine and go home..that's what I try to do...I don't feel it is fair for them to do this to me at all but really a pregnant woman...DON'T MAKE AN INNOCENT UNBORN BABY SUFFER, ITS NOT FAIR AND WRONG IN EVERY WAY.
I really want to get off the methadone, I wish I could just walk away but I'm afraid of what will happen to my baby.