This is the "perfect" example of what the "pills" would help me get through.  I knew last friday that my job was laying people off soon and i was told last week it was not me but did not know who it would be. Well today the hammer fell and the closest coworker i have got laid off along w/ others! I feel sick inside and not long ago i would have come home  and downed 10-12 pills and (what is the word i`m looking for) "endured" my way through this!
Now i`m here just feeling ill about the people who lost their jobs and who i will never work w/ again. I guess i just wanted to write this down and am in no way going to take anything but thought in my mind how theses pills did creap into every part of my life.

I can`t believe i have not entered here since day 9. It`s day 43 now. Time does help heal but more than that the people here on this forum make the everyday things easier. I have met many true and caring people in the last 43 days.They are from all over and have sent so many good wishes and prayers my way. My life has changed so much in the last forty days I guess the best way to describe it mite be the word "clean". No more counting pills,calling the pharmacy or planning my day or weekend around pills. I still get the craves and sometimes they get strong but i do not ever want to  be controlled by anything like that again.
I guess i want to say thank you to everyone who has helped me along. I was so confused and scared the first day on this site and a special few walked me through and totally helped-To you I give a heart filled thank you so so much! I will never forget that.
I know the journey continues everyday and i just want to say thanks  

Today is my day 9 and i`m feeling somewhat better. The sleeping thing isn`t all that great but that seems normal for this deal.Even though i HATE bananas i eat one a day i don`t know if that helps or not but you guys said it did so i`m scarfing them down. i think i`m slowly getting back on track. i keep feeling the bottom is going to drop sometime....

This was a wierd sunday,first i had a terrible morning help some family move and i was a total idiot to them and most everyone around me. They do not know anything of my problem and they did not deserve it. So as i sat stewing on my back deck i watched in amazment as two wild rabbits eyed up my pameranian  and proceded to slowy chase him around the back yard. My dog had know idea what to do! It only lastd a couple seconds but was good for a need laugh. Feels good to write that................