Well, it's been a while since I updated my journal, something which I use to update quite frequently in May, June & some of July. Then there was the shock of a 3rd missed m/c, and the D&E in the middle of July. DH & I decided to take some time off from the TTC journey, but I kept on w/ my "cocktail" of meds, baby aspirin, prenatal, folbic tablet, and an extra mg of folic acid.

So a week ago Sun, after realizing AF was 7days late, I decided to do an EPT, only because I wanted to rule out preg, cuz there was NOWAY I could be prego. I figured since it was only the 2nd AF since the D&E, that it was just going to be weird, and come whenever it wanted. And being DH & I might have BD maybe 4x all month, I just didn't think I could be prego. So I do the test, and low & behold, a complete shocker, a BFP!

This will be our 4th preg in 15 months. We're are CAUTIOUSLY happy. I've done 2 betas, had good numbers that doubled in 2 days, BUT ultimately an u/s will tell us what we need to know.  I've been offered to do an u/s this Wed, where i'll be 6W5D, but I'm REALLY scared. Getting the great betas took a really heavy weight of my shoulders, but the u/s will tell me the real truth. I do have a different outlook on things these days. I left everything in God's hands, and I got prego. If this baby isn't in his plan, then I can accept it.

I'm praying my cocktail of meds is doing the job. Still contemplating the u/s this wed, I suppose I should just get things over w/ to see if we're going to get good news.

I was a Feb09 mommy, and I miss all the mommies on the site. Seeing all the progressing u/s pics and adorable belly pics always pick me up! You all helped me thru a really hard time!

I'm praying that i end up a May 09 mommy!

I haven't been on the site in a while, not really for any reason but been trying to keep myself busy. I think about all the mommy's & get on to check on ya guys. It's been a good month & a half since the D&E, and AF just came & went. I was suprised it came so quick. I was expecting it to take at least 2 months since last 2 m/c's took 2months+ to get AF. So as unpleasant as having a D&E is, it was a pretty easy procedure all around.

I tested + for alpha thalasemia. All I know about it is, my red blood cells aren't producing or carrying enough oxygen to my body. So if DH tests + for it, it would be the reason I'm miscarrying. Don't know what treatment is. DH & I are going thru genetic counseling in the next couple wks, meaning my DR's are giving both of us every test under the sun. Until I have every test back, we're not going near TTC. I refuse to get thru a 4th m/c, but it is in God's hands, so whatever his plan is, is his plan.  So, I've got the MTHFR prob, now this alpha-thalasemia thing, I suppose I'm just glad DR's are finding things, instead of finding nothing, and having no reasons behind the m/c's.

I'm still staying +, with little bouts of depression, when I think about it, but overall I'm making it. I believe in God's plan, and I know THINGS HAPPEN FOR A REASON.

So I haven't really been on Med Help in a while. If I see I have an email I've checked it & got signed right off. I guess in the past couple months I've been so immersed in TTC, I just figured after the D&E, it was time to take a break. My DH&I are still BDing, we're just not doing OPT's and all that jazz. I figure if it happens, it happens, and it was meant to be. No more trying to make it happen. I think I'm on the right meds & vitamins to help the next pregnancy, at least according to the DR's I am, so we'll see what happens! I suppose I'm half TTC to conceive, and half not...LOL. I never miss a dose of my baby aspirin, or my crazy dose of vitamins & folic acid. It's unbelievable how much i'm taking!

I suppose after the 3rd m/c, it gets a LITTLE easier to accept...i think. I've put the m/c in the back of my mind, but sometimes it rears it's ugly head and I get sad, but I know things happen for a reason, and I'm still "the glass is half full" girl that I've always been.

I know it will happens for me, and the rest of us out there who pray everynight for a lil one!

I LOVE seeing everyone' s belly pics and sono pics! Believe it or not, they pick me up!

Thank you SO MUCH for your notes, and thinking about me! Everything seems to have went well. It was a little scary at first, when the DR was going over all the risks....puncturing something in my uterus or abdomen, scar tissue forming and not being able to get prego again. Obviously nothing was punctured, but we won't know about the scar tissue, unless I have probs getting prego. We shall see.

I'm pretty amazed that I've used a total of 1 pad since yesterday, and only had a little bit of cramping yesterday, which went away with Motrin. My DR gave me Lortab, which I was dreading cuz I don't do well with painpills, so thank God I didn't have to. I hate to admit this, but this D&E was a breeze compared to miscarrying naturally. I was even asleep before I was given the general anestitia! Then I woke up in recovery feeling good, crazily enough.

As easy as this whole event was, I pray to God I don't have to go thru it again. I hope I'm done with miscarriages, and my DR's have found the right "cocktail" to give my DH his first, and maybe only, child.

All you ladies on Med Help are WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONDERFUL!!!!!!!!!!!!!