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not too bad

Jun 24, 2013 - 0 comments
Tags:

marriage

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Relationships

,

Medical conditions



Husband and I are at an uneasy truce. If I try harder to get **** done, he'll try harder to avoid giving unsolicited advice. Will it work? Who knows? All I know is that I was having a hard time not smacking him senseless last week. Had an earnest talk that seemed to make things more doable. Day to day... day to day...

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Uuuuuuuuuuup! Dooowwwwwnnnn! Uuuuuppp!

Apr 29, 2013 - 0 comments
Tags:

Relationships

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Bipolar

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Hope

,

Moods



Last weekend was fantastic. Went to my kid's school's family weekend and all got along really well.
The previous weekend, I went to visit my Dad and step-mom. Stayed from Friday until Monday. Sweet break from reality. Walked on the beach, went through old pictures... it was great.
I have been off Lamictal for the past few days. The dr hasn't refilled it. Let's hope I don't get cuckoo...
We worked out in the yard yesterday. Today, I am faced with chores that I don't want to do. But oh well....
Fingers crossed-- I hope things continue to go OK.
I hope everyone else out there has a good one today!

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eek

Apr 18, 2013 - 0 comments
Tags:

relationship

,

Bipolar

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Addiction

,

couple's counseling



Things have gotten bad with the hubby. Have gone to several doctors for a myriad of physical issues that are clearly based on stress... specifically from his constant yelling and berating. He thinks that I am somehow brainwashing several different professionals who are telling me that I need some time away to work on getting better. Husband says that I am "running away" and that I am perpetuating a fantasy that he is a bad person. He's been my best friend for 23 years, so it's hard to take his emotional abuse. He finally agreed to see a couple's counselor "if only to show me that he is correct and that I am delusional". I may be smart but I am certainly not capable of brainwashing 5 or more doctors and therapists into believing he is emotionally abusive. These are people who, for the most part, don't even know each other. And 99% of them are telling me that for my health and self-preservation that I must leave. Finding this too hard to do. I don't want to upset my daughter and I certainly don't want to leave her with him.
So today has been all about shaking off the screaming and insults he hurled at me this morning before he left for work. Been contacting couple's counselors, dancing around the house while I clean, and doing what I do best-- writing erotica for a new anthology. My thought is that I can't let him wreck the day I have to myself. Learning that I am indeed worth having a decent day! I've decided to tell myself over and over that I ROCK! And so do you, m'friends! Namaste, y'all.

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hrumph

Apr 09, 2013 - 0 comments
Tags:

marriage issues

,

Bipolar

,

sanity



Just woke up from the best nap I have had in a long time. Still groggy, so maybe that's why I feel a bit peaceful... that, and I don't have TV or music or such on, just a slightly open window and a sweet spring breeze. Taking advantage of the moment before I get anxious again. (I get Seasonal Affective Disorder during the transition from winter to spring.)
   Talked to the hubby last night about the possibility of a separation. He got quite angry. Apparently, all of the issues we have are because I am delusional and he isn't remotely cruel or abusive. Ugh. He thinks that I would just be "running away" and that I should simply "cut the crap and start living again."
So, I reckon I shall have to plot an escape for when the time comes. Discussing it calmly seems to be a no-go.
Funny thing is that he keeps talking about how if this psych or that doc doesn't "do things right", hubby is going to "yank me out of there so fast..." He keeps forgetting that he has no legal right to that.
Ahhh, it keeps getting stranger.

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