well last night we had our first snow of the season. it has been a long time since we got a measurably snow so early, afraid thats a bad oman for what is ahead for us. everyone says oh how pretty and fun the snow is,m well i find it depressing, knowing how cold and windy it wwill be for the next 5 months.. it is a cold lonely winter in western maryland , and i hate it. so we have cabin fever, head colds, sky high heating bills, and 5 months of being in the house. now doesnt that sound prett and fun?? think i would rather have teeth pulled with our novicain

today is going to be a very long and bad day.. if my youngest would have lived she would have been 18 today.. katie lynn pased away on feb 24 1991, she was 4 months old to the day she died.. she was a victim of SIDS.. i can rememebr that day like it was yesterday.. and at times it really haunts me i was the last one to feewd her and put hewr to bed the nighjt before... god i wouldnt wish that on my worst enemy no parent shoulkd have to bury a child.. i losy my mom this last past feb.. not a good month in my life but i know they are waithing for me and mom is taking care of katie and one day we will walk the streets of glory together hand in hand  i love you katie and mom

as u all could tell if u red any my journels i have been depressed,, had many ppl around me pass away to the better life,, hgi mom , i will be there noe day take care of katie till i get there. anyways this is where i thnk many of u all will probbly say ur messed up.. my two oldest kids have moved away, one with her husband and family and my son off to college in slippery rock pa.. which is why we raise them to be in depedent and grown, my youngest is still finding herself, and at 19 i understand that,, i always tell her she was born 20 yrs too late....hipppie at heartr.. but she will be fine.. now i dont want scolding or ******* letters to this respose, but i told all my kids if they ever wanted to try pot to come to me and well they did.. my oldest gets it honestly shes like me ..loves it, my son hates whcich for him thaqt is great and my youngest is a wild chil so nomore be said...maybe i am a bad dad but when they heed advice or comfort they call or come and seee me...anuyways got of track, i stopped listening to music and now i started again and feeling like a human being again dont know what it is about music, i mostly listen to clssic rock . southern rock and jimmy buffett....what a mix but works for me.. hope i did t offend anyone with thid entry wasnt meant too just had to get it off my chest and if you all hate.. weell rememebr what Jimmy Morrison said " lets get our kicks before the whole **** houe gose up in flames"....lmfao      brian

hope everyone has a good day i am off to dialysis here in about 15 minutes, will be there to about 10;30 then sleeep most of the day ... wonderfull day huh????