Well, won't lose today, but shouldn't gain unless from salt.  Ate out with Uncle Bobby who I haven't seen in sooooo many years.  Miss him and shared slides from Grandma from 1960's!   Took dinner to sick cousin and took a nap .. didn't sleep well last night ... not sure why.

Better choices on tap for tomorrow ... making homemade beef and barley soup.

Food Diary

When you stumble and fall or are fighting health and/or emotional issues, we stumble and fall .. we are human.  We have to summon those who can help us and get the care we need and then come back and pick up where we left off.  

I am feeling better emotionally and physically and have been taking care of myself; my health demanded it.  I am now functioning better and am happy .. have uncovered some long forgotten feelings, acknowledged them and worked through them ... and like the other part of my journey I am continuing to learn and move forward.

Here I am ... back with with what I know works .. doing a food diary, and using my trackers to help me and my other supportive friends keep me on my journey.  I will be the best me I can be and honor the body the Good Lord has entrusted to me.

Food Diary

The holidays are a glorious time of relaxation and get-togethers; a time for celebration and remembrance of our freedom and the cost of it.  However, holidays can also be a time of severe loneliness for those who have no one around them.  Today I am feeling such loneliness and, despite all I've learned, I am truly struggling today.  

Normally, this could trigger a binge, however, today I can not eat.  The one item I have eaten so far, is not on my list of foods I should be consuming.  

My refrigerator stopped working at a time when it was FULL of food and despite our best efforts, it is not repairable.  The refrigerator is 55 degrees, the freezer food has thawed and I must simply wait until Tuesday evening to put it out in the garbage bins.  

Am normally most resilient and find positive thoughts in everything .. am simply overwhelmed with this latest event and my 30-year shingles (about 10 years old) are cracking into little pieces and falling to the deck and sidewalk.  If not repaired soon .. at least by fall .. it will affect the structure and the house will be lost.  Being unemployed there is simply no money for repairs.  It is hard to see your last asset disintegrating with no means to stop it.  

And, by the way, the stimulus package passed by the government to be of assistance to struggling home owners .. is only eligible if you've had a decrease in "wages" ... not if your "wages" have been decreased to unemployment.  If you've lost your job and are on unemployment .. you are on your own!

Normally shiny me hesitates to be this honest and admit this much sorrow .. but to fail to do so would not be sharing the truth.  The truth is .. I will feel this and survive somehow .. and will work again to count my blessings.

1.  My granddaughter is in remission.
2.  My mom is still alive.
3.  My heart still has the capacity to love and to hurt.



Food Diary

Great party with many friends.  Celebrating a small organizational effort that began around a kitchen table at my sister's house 5 years ago.  They have met, talked, argued, and worked for the good of childcare and childcare providers.  They organized a grass roots effort a couple years ago called EEBA (Early Education Benefits Association and sought to interview and align with a union.  They believed in their cause, campaigned, knocked on doors, organized and attended statewide meetings in kitchens, libraries and churches and found other like-minded people.  Today they have a union, and just had their second election of officers.  My sister, Terry LaBelle, initially held a Vice President role and was just elected to a 2-year-term as President.  I am soooo proud of her and the wonderful, excited, determined and caring people that are serving in all capacities of this effort.  They have done the hard work and are living their dream!  We could all use their tenacity and "can do" attitudes to see what can be done when you put in the effort, the hard work and never, ever quit!

NOTES TO SELF:  (1) Complete Food Diary BEFORE you eat a little of everything; you might change your mind on the number of foods you try when you have to enter them OR when you see the calorie content.  (2)  Just because you HAVE the calories, doesn't mean you need to EAT them.  

Am not disappointed in myself; it was a CHOICE.  Still learning ... it is a process .. and stayed pretty close to targeted calories for the day.  

I am too full, uncomfortably so ... but the food tasted great and I ate even when I was full.  Bad habit!  Will plan better for next time.  


Food Diary