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Moody mood swings

Nov 03, 2012 - 0 comments
Tags:

mood swings

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Alcohol

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mood tracker



I suppose alcohol does not help when am feeling like this, but it's only a few units...with all my meds...trying to sleep through things again...doesn't always work...nah not working..

Mood Tracker

Personal Update

Jul 18, 2012 - 0 comments
Tags:

despair

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clean

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God

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harm reduction



It is always far too long before i decide to check in with Med Help. This place is fantastic and has helped me out so much. However long term abuse of pharmacological substances unfortunately has many severe side effect, like memory and mood. I keep findig sites about harm reduction, I am really just using them to see how high I can get, got not much interest in safe usage. That said however, just recently I have had the desire (strong desire), not just a fleeting desire because of the guilt trip of going on a huge crack ad tablet binge leaving me more or less bankcrupt.

I am now, slowly and surely getting thorugh the viscious circle of addiction and having prioritised money and made absolutely sure that as soon as i am paid, rent is the first thing. i still have a roof over my head thanks to God for that. My faith is getting stronger and my belief in a miracle not to far in the distant future. The desire to be clean is now there. A big step or what, once the desire is there, things are a little easier, even if i go hungry for a few days, i still have my home. Small victories, still strugling with the secondary priorities, like gas/electricity and finally food. These last 3 are the toughest. I t means that once these priorities are adhered to, there is not enough money left to go on a bender, which are now few and far between.

Recently I have just closed myself off from the world, falling in to an ever deepening state of despair and depression. I should be happy. This is the very nature of addiction, more downs than ups, gradually though as i reduce and stay clean for longer periods I now have reason to rejoice and who knows in a month or two i will be in a better placedespair

Fobbed off by GP

Jul 18, 2012 - 0 comments
Tags:

Lower leg nerve pain

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nerve pain

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Severe nerve pain after removi

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specialist recommenation

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nerve pain relieved



It is now becoming the final straw where I have had it with my local GP. Eight years I have been shoved from pillar to post with the pains i suffer with between the knee and ankle in both legs.

No specialist help has been forthcoming, only once when i insisted on a MRI or some other scan to properly diagnose he symptoms. So when I ask for what I know works (OxyNorm - Oxycodone), I get labelled as a drug seeker.

The closest I ever got to a test was an x-ray of both legs, which even the guy running the x-ray told me it was a waste of time and money. Well eight years on and still being ignored. I am sure the cost to the taxpayer after all these years of being fobbed has cost way more than a thorough set of tests and a proper examination by a specialist.

After being see by a no NHS pain specialist (which I has high hopes for) was a shambles. I was prescibed high dose pregabalin, which severly interated with quetiapine, which am still taking. Now three years later, guess what? That's right my GP insists on trying me on pregabalin again alongside Dihydrocodeine which at 7x30mg tabs a day are no longer working unless i take a 3-4 dose, but still in excruciating nerve pain in both my legs.

I would appreciate it if anyone has this type of pain especially in their lower legs and been sucessfully treated, then please share your journey and where you got your help from

Pain Tracker

Really Down

Jul 18, 2012 - 1 comments
Tags:

emotional pain

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nerve pain

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Depression

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Insomnia

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feelings of hopelessness

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suicide thoughts

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Wanting to self harm



Am sick of these severe bouts of depression, ranging from a few hours to now - days on end of feeling that i wish i want to end it all. total hopelessness, lonliness and isolating myself. i haven't even the energy to get angry. Sleep is all over the place and nerve pains making things worse and crack usage not helping. Where is my way out???

Mood Tracker