All Journal Entries Journals
Sort By:  

help cousinly love & sexual abuse

Sep 11, 2008 - 1 comments
Tags:

Sexual

,

sexual problems

,

cousin

,

Love

,

abuse

,

sick

,

help



When I was 12 I went to see my cousin get married in another state. On my mother's side alone I have about 100 first cousin's. I met one of my cousin's whom was also 12 that my parent's were going to adopt due to the fact that my aunt was unstable. They never did adopt him though b/c she wouldn't stop coming around, he was the closest thing to a brother that I've ever had. I felt a physical attraction to my cousin when I was there & I believe we touched each other but I do not remember. I hadn't had any contact with him until recently & we are both now 18, & those feelings are coming back. I think I love him & I have been having sexual dreams about him. I want to ask him if he remembers but I'm afraid he will say no & think I'm wierd or will say yes & he feels the same. I don't want to love him in that way. I am currently dating someone whom I have been with for 2 years. Even though I have not told anybody how I feel, I told my boyfriend about the thing when we were 12, but he's mean about it & calls me incest. When I was 7 I also rubbed up against my three best friends that were also females, but I thought it was because I was confused b/c my mom is bi. Maybe there's something wrong with me i don't know. HELP!   =[