Sometimes I feel all alone in my battle.  I get on the pity, poor me pot, you all ever been there??? LOL...and then I come here and ask for friends and what a reaction!  WOW....I promise to get back to you all, it just will take some time....I have great ideas and intentions, I just move slowly now.

I have found that dealing with this virus is a daily battle, it does so much more than just hang out inside of me and silently destroy my body, it rears it's ugly head and makes me so tired that I do not want to get out of bed, hurt so bad, I do not want to get out of bed (you see a pattern here???)  I get frustrated by all the mixed information from the medical profession, why won't they admit they do not know for sure?  

I have learned that this is my body, my virus, and I have to gather information and learn by searching, asking others, and doing what is best for me.  My liver tells me when I have eaten something it doesn't like, so I am listening to my body.

I eat raw, frozen, nuts, beans, no chemicals, no additives, no preservatives 99% of the time.  When I eat too much protein, iron, or sugar, my liver screams at me.  I use no chemicals in my house...we mix vinegar and baking soda to clean with...use no chemicals on my body, remembering that it goes into my system.  So, my hair is turning grey now and my nails are a mess...but I am stable....not better....not worse.  I can deal with that.

I waited almost a year to get disability, we lost everything we had, but now I have disability.  So, one step forward.  Now, I have to wait until 2011 to get medicade because I make to much on my disability!  I might lose my county medical, have an appointment next month to determine my eligibility.  Then, I won't have medical help if they take that from me.  So, two steps back.  All I can do is laugh and wait, and get determined....I won't die until they do something...there has got to be someplace, someone who will say enough is enough.

This is a journey into the wilderness...I am so glad that I have others with me.  We that are infected are the voices and until we stand up and make a noise, not a lot will happen.

Stay healthy....Stay positive...Slay the Dragon

Are you 12?  Did you know that one in every 12 people are infected???

Hugs
Kat

Two years ago I came here and was so overwhelmed at the time that I wrote the last entry.  I had always worked, been healthy, positive and all of a sudden was hit by numerous health issues.  They didn't creep up on me, instead they jumped me from behind and knocked me out.  I lost my job, home, all possessions and waited for disability.  I had to go on food stamps, get free county medical help and live in a studio with 5 cats and my husband and 27 year old son.  The treatment didn't work and physically I am in worse shape.....but.....I still have my family, the cats and a roof over my head, disability was approved although they have cut off my food stamps and I won't get medical until 2011!!  It is funny, go one step forward and two back.

I have learned that I cannot hide my head under the covers and pretend that this is not happening.  I have to reach out and care for others, letting people know about this virus and giving them hope, while they give me hope.  I need the community of others to share and cry with, to laugh and give hope to.

I cannot walk this path alone.  Not only am I dealing with death and poor health, but am also trying to prepare my son and husband for the future.  I do not want to do it with a lot of negative energy, but with laughter and love.

I am so glad that this site is here and I sincerely hope to get to know all the people here and to share and grow.

Together, we can slay the dragon and have a future!

I just faced reality today...2 years or less to live and it bites...I guess I have been living in a dream world, where it would all go away...****.

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