Mar 05, 2009
Today is March 4, 2009. I am logging this entry to mention a little about the pain I am having. It is unlike anything I have ever felt before. I comes on almost without provocation and in an instant is gone. The intensity is off the chart. I have not shed a tear since I was about 6 years old, but have wanted to several times with this pain. The odd thing is that I can have nearly a whole day without pain, and then may have intense pain sensations every 30 seconds for 2 hours or more. Some days I have these spuratic episodes at random intervals all day long and may have 200 or more. Other days, I may have only 10 or so episodes all day. This is the exception though. Before the Neurontin, these pains would wake me up from a deep sleep. Now I usually sleep through the night with the meds, but every morning is unbearable. Its like the muscles and tendons on the plantar portion of the foot are all cramping tightly at the same time, but they aren't. There is tightness in the Achilles at first, but from all I have read, it is common for there to be stiffness in the injured area in the mornings for about the first year or so, so that part doesn't concern me. What does concern me is the loss of sensation in the first two toes, and a large portion of the top of my foot. Then further, the heightened sensitivity of the plantar portion of the foot. EX: My PT was trying to massage the plantar portion of the foot and the sensation was unbearable. Just the touch on the bare sole of my foot was like a painful tickle, pins and needles, burning, and itching ALL at the exact same time, but with 100 times the intensity of what I feel on the other foot. THIS IS NOT PAIN. But the sensation is unbearable. It weird, because if it were just pain I could handle that long enough to get the massage. But this is like my brain is getting a sensory overload of the foot and my emotional response is undescribable. It almost like my brain is confused about what to feel, and for that instance I am totally insane and cannot focus on anything. I can't focus on the tickling because I can't focus on the pins and needles because I can't focus on the burning because I can't focus on the itching, all in one cycle that repeats itself 1000 times per second. Most of this may not make sense to anyone else but me, but it is the only way I can think to describe it. It is driving me crazy. I almost believe that I would volunteer to, no, request to have the foot amputated below the knee if the docs determine I am stuck this way for the rest of my life. As an otherwise healthy, athletic, father of 2 tots, that is saying a lot.