Posted by Sandra_G, Nov 07, 2009

Hi all....This is an upbeat letter to all of you who suffer the heartache & constant worry of a sick pet, and/or the loss of  your precious fur baby.

I watched an adorable video tonight of a tiny puppy "falling in love" with the family cat. It was mutual love.
It made me think of my Poodle Julie, when she was a puppy & how lucky I am to have had the pleasure of experiencing her adorable, fun & loving life, , from a puppy to now, at 10 yrs. old.
She is my first dog as a adult. When I look back at the 10 years that I have had with Julie, I say thank you God for giving her to us.  Julie is a loving learning experience...every day is different. She is a child to us.
Julie traveled with us everywhere we went, every Hotel, Motel, Holiday Inn, around the USA & Canada.
She is a pleasure to take anywhere.  When I look at her & start to cry, knowing that I am losing her, I try to think of the fun times with her, & she still is fun, it helps a bit.

It took me a long time to believe that I am losing Julie. In my crazy mind, I couldn't comprehend that I'd lose her. I felt that people were wrong,   NOT MY DOG, I thought. How WRONG I was.
I spent mega bucks to "save Julie & to try to make her better". Thats short lived. Something always happens again & again.

I lose my precious Mom one year ago. She & I both went thru the the Five Stages Of Dying & I now realize thats what I am going through with my Julie..... (sadly, my Mom never came to Acceptance.)

They are...1. Denial, 2. Anger, 3. Barganing with God, 4. Depression, & 5. Acceptance.
Acceptance is NOT doing nothing, defeat, resignation or submission.
Acceptance IS coming to terms with reality.  Death is after all, a part of LIFE.

I wrote alot on Cushings in the past & when other people in the forum said what a awful disease it is & most dogs don't live too long, I knew she was very sick yet I cringed & thought of how wrong they are.  My baby will NOT die, I will get her cured.
How wrong was I??? I was so very WRONG. I was in Denial & Anger. Than I Bargained with God, every day.
Right now, I am somewhere between Depression & Acceptance, as best that I can handle it, because I have no other choice.
Whats was so hard to accept is the LIMITED years that we have with our precious Pets. After all, I had my Mom for 81 years, (although thats never enough).  This is what I am starting to accept about Julie.

This is not meant to be depressing, I am telling all of you my learning experiences with Julie. There is so much more good to tell, but I will stop now, because I am hoping that you will all think of the great times with your own pets, past & present.  My heart goes out to everyone. Keep your spirit up & your pet will live in it.

Just to update you.... with all the problems my poor Julie has, now something else cropped up..totally unrelated to Julie's Cushings, Pancreatitis, Heart disease, Kidneys, spots on lungs & gall bladder....was I ever shocked to find this.
Last week Julie had Laser surgery on a huge mass in back & under her tongue, on the left side & on the right side too. Thats small though..like a pea.  We were scared to do this but had no choice. The Vet told me that they use this newer anesthesia...used for infants in hospitals, & now being used on dogs. She said that it is so safe. I let her do it.
Julie came out of it like a trooper!  I was called at 3 pm to come get her..she was supposed to stay there for 2 days.
She was doing so good that they felt that keeping her there, would stress her out. I was prepared for the worst but she survived &  I took her home that same day & she did great. She is still good & healing.
This anesthesia is so encouraging for pets with compromised immune systems.

As far as food goes, I feed her Hills I/D can food & add fat free chicken broth to soften it. She likes it.
For dry food I gave her Hills K/D. She did like it at first, than tasted Purina One lamb & rice & loves this one.
So I gave in & give Julie Purina One Dry food. So what I thought. I just want her to eat. I tell her it's her treat & she eats it thinking thats her treat. lol  I also give her Yams..I cook & mash them, with her pills.  She loves it.
I now give her thin sliced carrots, cooked well, also as treats. Maybe once a week I give her rice & chicken that I cook for her. I did give her a taste of roast beef tonight...very little.  I have virtually stopped giving Julie all table food.
By my doing this, no pancreatitis attacks in 2 months...knock on wood.

Thank you to those of you who made me realize to STOP giving her table food. I have prolonged her life by doing this.

I urge everyone to try to get your dog VPI Pet Insurance or any Pet Insurance.. This saved her life many times. Without it, her treatments & Meds & many days & nights at Vets, would have been way too expensive.

I just thank God for every day that Julie is with us. She is happy, she eats to kill & drinks tons of water. She also sleeps alot too. She pee's alot & poops alot...outside. No diarreah nor vomiting..for now.  We never leave her alone.
Her back legs are weak at times. Is that from her severe arthritis or her Cushings?? No-one knows for sure but for now, she never falls down. After reading many of your posts, I am trying to prepare for any of the many awful things that can happen to her, at moments notice.  My heart goes out to all of you with a sick dog.
Feel free to contact me for any info that you need. I will do my best to help.
If anyone has suggestions for me, I'd be glad to hear them.

Julie had another Pancreatitis attack...she had diarreah & vomiting.  I was prepared this time...I was scared but it was either me treating her or the ER Vet for 4 days again.  I came to terms with my decision to treat her at home.

I called my Vet & he said to give her the Flagyl that he gave me 2 wks. ago...just in case this attack happened again.
I did & It worked after 1 day but I kept her on it all week.  Thank you God for giving me & Julie the stregnth to get through this awful time.

Today is 9/13/09 & Julie is much much better & I am sticking to the Hills I/d can food & the K/d dry food. I must give her mashed Yams...a teaspoon full with her pills in the AM.  She is back on Trilostane 22.5 mg. 1 X daily.
She has to go off of it for a week each time she gets pancreatitis.  
Julie is not great by any means. She still has excessive thirst, ravenous appetite, a pot belly yet much smaller, excellive urination...outside, thank God. She breathes hard at times...not always.  She gets lethargic at times & I call her to get her back to earth.  She has a heart murmur but I am leaving that be for now.  She is also quite happy every day...than gets very tired at night. (There are lots of people in & out of here all day & she has to greet them all lol) Isn't that called nosey? lol

Because of Cushings, Julie's liver is extremely large. She doesn't seem to be suffering, the vet told me that the liver is pushing against her gall bladder but it is not painful.  (the Vet tested her for pain..none at all)  And because the liver is crowding everything, she sometimes has a hard time trying to have a bowel movement.  

All I can do is hope & pray for my baby doll.

My little Poodle Julie just had her 3rd attack of Pancreatitis...all within 7 mos. time. Each time it was back to the Vets for 4 day stay there & IV treatments.
It gets outrageous on what I am charged each time. This time, they said her attack wasn't as severe as the others & I took her home tonight..after her being there for 27 hours, I was outrageously charged $1,036.25. I took her home with amoxicillin only..7 tablets for 25.00. I truly want to treat my dog, but they are making it so hard with what they charge. It's the same all over here in N.Y.. I have paid out over $6,000.00 so far.
Julie is still sick & hopefully she'll get better with her pill that they sold me.

I want to tell you this...most Pancreatitis attacks are brought on by giving the dog HUMAN foods. I was alot better with her diet, but I did give her starches which I was told is okay.  Than everyone else let her taste this n that & it all built up in her Pancreas..over the course of 6 weeks (since her last attack)..called SLUDGE...it built up in her...which my poor baby couldn't digest...& had another attack.
Fatty foods cause attacks.  

I am given strict rules to give her nothing but Hills I/P or I/D...whatever.
I have to do this for her..ro give her a chance. She hates not getting her healthy treats.
This is hard on us both.  I pray that I don't give in to my baby wanting people food.