I decided to switch OBGYN's bc I was not comfortable with my last one. He did not engage me in conversation like I needed. I'm happy with the new one she explained my choices to me and has decided to keep me on the metformin and up the dosage to 2000mg a day (1000mg every 12hrs with food) Decided that I will start on 50mg of clomid and use ovulation kits when ready to conceive. Also talked about my spotting and chalked it up 2 hormones bc thats what we're messing around with. She said give the metformin time to do it's job.

Big O

Ok apparently AF visits every 2 weeks now and I know that is not suppose 2 happen. At first I thought I was just spotting mid cycle but now it seems as if it is a light flow. This just started in May and seems like I'm destined to make up for the periods I skipped as a teenager. Last month I did not have mid cycyle spotting just some mild cramping around cd 16-18 which is usually when I have the spotting. I'm confused don't know if this is a period or spotting. If AF comes in 30 days than it is a period but if she shows up in 2 weeks I have no clue. I'm on metformin and sometimes I forget to take it maybe thats why the bleeding occurs bc my hormones are off track.

Big O

Last night I cried for so long praying to God that he will fix me. It seems like everyone around me is getting their gifts but me. I feel less than a woman because of my infertility and it makes me question myself. I feel inadaquate and that I just have femine features but in actuallity I am something else. I guess I just feel hopeless and I don't want to give up on having a child. I know it can be a slow and long process but I'm almost 30 and everyone keep asking me when will I have a family. I'm to chicken to tell them that I have a problem conciving I don't want them to pity me. I'm not sure what else I can do I try not to think about and that works for a couple of months until one of my friends tell me their expectating. I'm happy for them but sad for me. Maybe it's just not my time. Paitence is a Virtue.

Today is a sad day for my sister. She had her 2nd ultrasound and they told her that there was no heart beat. She is so crushed but has not given up they will try again so I said I want twin newphews. She was ~ 10-11 weeks when the loss occured. She says that she has to go in for a D & C in two weeks.