Mood Tracker Journals
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102 lbs

Oct 10, 2010 - 0 comments
Tags:

Weight

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apple pie

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daddy's junky music

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phase

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violin

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12 string guitar

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twinkle twinkle

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jon

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idiot

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Alcohol

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billy

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shei

,

voice

,

caelan

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Crying

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steve

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Headache

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TIRED

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sleep

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Work

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senior year

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Ridiculous



Getting nauseas when I eat again. I just haven't got the longing to eat most things, really. It's just another one of those phases. It'll pass.

I started an apple pie. I was frusterated. Went to a Daddy's Warehouse Sale and I BOUGHT A VIOLIN. Steve got a 12 string guitar. My violin's name is Bertie. His guitars name is Lucy. (Aubert and Lucida)  I can play twinkle twinkle on the violin, which I thought was pretty damn fantastic since the first time I ever touched a violin was this afternoon. Even if it is still a bit squeaky.

Jon's an idiot.

We went to billys and steve got a headache and hes so  tiered, and so am i, but I just don't know what to say anymore. Senior year is kicking our butts.

My voice makes infants cry.

Oh, I took the SATS a couple days ago.

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I truly tried to watch Fahrenheit 451

Oct 06, 2010 - 0 comments
Tags:

Fahrenheit 451

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brain

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sleep

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french accent

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blonde combover

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focus

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Democracy essay

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MLA format

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house fire

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creative writing

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second person

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psychology

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personality

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erik erikson

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stupid giggling girls

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culinary

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sean cul

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daniella cul

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chef

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pass out

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sick ginger

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voc student

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wheelchair

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lime juice

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juicing

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effort

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strained muscles

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Pain

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shaking

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Culinary institue of america

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new england culinary institute

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recomendations

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jen CM

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alumni

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college essays

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kitchen experience



I did. But my brain simply couldn't. So I fell asleep.  The french accents were so thick I couldn't understand  them anyways, and everyone had the same blonde combover. I was so comfused. Ugh. I will try harder tomarrow to follow. I need to write my Democracy essay. Yuck. Not yuck to democracy, yuck to mandatory opinion essays in MLA format.

I was just on fire today, otherwise. I pounded out a sick essay about a house burning down for my 2nd person narrative. I really like it, which is odd for me.

Almost finished 50 questions for Psych. I went from 17 for 41 in not much time- it was so much easier to concentrate without stupid giggling girls sitting next to me.

Culinary was alright. Sean sits down. Chef yells at him to get up and help clean. He says no, he doesn't feel well. Daniella is getting him a glass of water. Chef tells him drink the water and help. About 30 seconds pass and I hear "Chef....Sean just passed out." He literally just toppled out of his chair and hit the cement. Huge red spot on his forhead. He's a ginger, but he was a sick shade of white. Like ten nurse type people came in cause he's a voc student I guess, and took all these tests and took him away in a wheelchair. I felt bad. He hit the ground pretty hard.

Then I kept juicing about 30 limes. Have you ever juiced a lime? The friction rubbed the skin on my hands raw, which then stung in the juice. My muscles strained with the effort of jamming a dull wooden thing into the middle of a healthy lime. Oh dear, I was so tired after I was shaking. People kept shooting me looks, afraid I was going to pass out too. It was embarassing.

The CIA guy is coming in tomarrow! I need to write my essay, and my NECI essay, and **** there's just so much I need to do. I applied to  both schools already, technically, though. Ok. I can do this. Jen at work said she'd write me a letter of recomendation and I can definetly put her down as my boss for my cul experience. Yay. I have her for a NECI alumni, and chef for a CIA alumni, I can do this. This is all within reach. I just need to stay focused. And get some sleep.

Mood Tracker

College fair today

Oct 05, 2010 - 0 comments
Tags:

college fair

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culinary

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college apps

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lunch

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nap

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reading

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alone

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lonely

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shei

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billy

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steve

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nails

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baby caelan

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parents

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friends

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scared

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cigarette

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Baby

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mom

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TIRED

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sleep

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bad story teller

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Love

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cook

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over

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smoke

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Cleaning

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locked oven

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hungry

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rice

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hot water dispenser

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kiss

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confusion



It was kinda fun. I was lonely, yes, but whatever. I had a nice nap on the way there and ate a happy little lunch. I can be content alone. You know?

I was supposed to go with Shei and Billy to get our nails done, but his mom came home and freaked out because I was there. Not at me, but because I was there. I felt horrible. I'm really sorry. I won't go back to his house. Not for a while. I was scared. Shei gave me a cigarette cause I was wide eyed and near tears, shaking. I can't handle that tone of voice, the yelling, any of it. I crumble. I'm a big baby.

We went back to shei's house and I fed  the infant that isn't an infant anymore. Steve got there when we did and we all hung out. He was with Isaac before he came with us. Good for him. He's so smart.

And we came home early because i was very tired and steve wanted to leave and I had a mini tantrum and left without saying bye to them. I felt bad, I just was so irrritable for no reason. All of a sudden.

I got home and tried to tell my mom about my day and geez, I know I'm no story teller but she fell asleep while I talked. Wow mom. Nice to know you care. Nah I'm kidding, I love my mom. I woke her up to tell her.
She was trying to cook something today and when she opened the oven smoke came out and so she was cleaning it and when it does that it always locks up so I got home, starving, with a stomach ache, grumpy, it was locked. I couldn't cook anything. I made instant rice in a bowl on the counter with the hot water dispenser. I LOVE that thing.

And I finally asked Shei, I asked why did she kiss me. Because it's driving me up the wall and she says she likes me and I know it must just be me making these things up that I think. I wonder if things will be different now.

Mood Tracker

I slept till

Oct 03, 2010 - 0 comments
Tags:

apple picking

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sleep

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steve

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billy

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shei

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caelan



1 in the afternoon. I got up and read and got steve and we went to billys and we all went apple picking. It was a lot of fun. I'm so tired though. I could sleep for years, easily.

Mood Tracker