It was when I woke up, and it is now. I kept waking up and the silence sounded like music to my ears. A sad, sickening music. I had to get up and investigate. My parents were missing. Out shopping, actually. I fed myself and read and sent pictures off my phone. They came home and stuff and then I had to keep sending for what felt like forever, not finishing till we were literally arriving at the mall. My mom's car seems to be croaking again. I am worried for her. I got a new phone. I balked at the last moment and went with the NV3. Not the touch. I'm fragile. Oh, I didn't mention my mom weighed me today. I have this odd feeling it'll become a normal ritual, here. I may start carrying rocks around or something off. It's just awkward. Clocked in at 112, though.

Christmas shopping. Steve got an incense burner, a Wii golf thingy, and got me an ocarina =D. I failed at shopping. I love my ocarina though. Mom got us drinks. Mine was sour, but I liked it anyways. We ate steak, and it was really good. My stomach has a wierd feeling like always after steak, but I really like it. And it was good. My parents started fighting after, and I just pretend I don't hear it, when I'm in the next room with no door. Steve too. Jon always did. What are we gonna do? I don't know. We watched 50 First Dates. My ferrets played. It was a productive day, in my book.

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Not during the night though. I woke up many times and my mom said there were potatoe squares for breakfast and I couldn't keep myself sleeping when I knew they were getting cold. I had that french toast, too.

I read, and then Steve came over! It was a very long day, but I didn't mind. I didn't drive, and I guess I'm glad. I know I have to, but I don't want to think about it for the next nine days.

I took a nap and dreamed that I was running around outside of course and then I saw Luke and then a guy picked him up like a baby and shot him a bunch of times in the stomach. And I got scared. and like freakin usual, I had some odd key in my pocket. Left pocket. Really now, if there's any symbolism there, I would love to know it. My dreams all become eerily similar. Then I got trapped in some sort of gang war and didn't get shot. The girl, the italian named 15 year old, whom killed a 9 year old? She was there, sortof. And everyone seemed to be shooting at her, but I was right next to her, and didn't die. It was strange. I was really scared.
Then again, Steve was playing MW2 right next to me, maybe the reason for the guns. I then dreamed I woke up, and had red lipstick that I tried to put on, but the texture wasn't quite right and it just kept mooshing and looked bad. Steve was trying to convince me to get an account on a skype-like site, which is very unlike him. And Jon was laughing. Like usual. I then woke up for real, confused why Steve was not on the computer, and I was not holding any lipstick. I was warm because when I have nightmares, I  get warm. And though this was a bit ridiculous of a nightmare, I guess I'm just a tad dramatic. Steve commented that Luke had asked where I was when I was absent, and he made it kinda funny because it was completely random obviously that Luke was in my dream and he probably only asked because I'm usually hovering behind Steve, all the time. My absence is almost always noted.

I've been coughing today. My throat has no soreness, just a persistant tickle. All day, and not in a row. Just annoying, really. I feel contaminated.

We played MW2. And I killed more Juggernauts than I bet you've ever seen! No, I'm kidding, I suck. But I did try. We ate thick spaghetti for dinner. Yummu yummy yummy. I love spaghetti. I didn't have any chicken. I feel bad. I made rice krispie treats, and they came out good. I also made popcorn, and it didn't come out that great. I dunno why. Watched Harry Potter.

I need to get off the computer maybe, and read. Or atleast finally clean the ferret cage. I'm such a dipwad.

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I seem to be the only one who saw that coming. It wasn't for failing to park correctly, or not looking at my signs. It was because I drove too slow, and stopped to soon. Which, I acknowledge, aren't good habits, but I figured they would be better off than driving too fast, or not stopping. You know? I mean whatever, I'm going back in ten days. And I did have one horrid turn, but one. I know it all. I didn't think I did that bad. I don't want to go back. I don't. Not ever. I don't want to drive enough to set myself up for that kind of disapointment, and I don't want to tell everyone about it on Monday. I more or less hyperventilated the whole way home, Steve pointed out that it was ok that I failed, I could go back in a couple weeks, but everything felt like critisizm. I obviously knew it wasn't, I cried anyways. For a long time. I'm just scared. Which was the other reason I failed. While be judged on my driving, in a car, with a police officer, on a street I've never been on, in a town I don't live on, I'm not supposed to be nervous at all. That OBVIOUSLY means I'm not comfortable behind the wheel and I OBVIOUSLY didn't complete my 40 hours like the paper said. Even though I more or less did. More than anyone else has.

Doesn't matter. Oh well. Nothing I can do about it now. It's 1:30 in the morning and I'm up eating walnuts and jello. I'm a little stressed out. I have so much school work. Projects, and absent work, and whatever. I hate being penalized for being sick. Why?  Oh, and I had to leave early again to get to the DMV to be told that I sucked at driving and I should actually try practicing before coming back in 10 days.

It was a long day. I counted cookies all morning, and I was so  nervous I would screw up. I hate counting.

I was at Steve's all night and I guess there would have been less upset about having to leave if I had been driving my own car home. Hadn't had to be picked up. And then sit through the uncomfortable drive home while my dad glances at me, disapointed. Great. What fun.

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Last night? And how I passed out and mashed myself on the head with the TV?

I slept horrible due to the fact that I constantly woke up becuase I'd rolled over and was ON the huge bump on my head. 6 AM and there was no way I was getting out of that bed. I felt like ****, my throat burned, and my lip was swollen (?), I was talking gibberish, and my nose was running. I tried to get up and just didn't. I didn't go to school. I would hate to be wrong about it, but I slept till 2. As in, right through the whole school day. I shutter to think of what would have happened if I'd gone. I only got up becuase my mouth was filling with drool and I couldn't swallow.

I laid on the couch all day and read Uglies. Made jello, and felt some better around 5. Mom finally came home and stuff, and we ate turkey pot pie. I liked it. We went out to practice back in driving. I am now ridiculously nervous about tomarrow. Fabulous.

My throat still hurts, and my head...hurts. I no longer have a headache, but whenever I move my head the bit bump aches.

Also, the rash is on the right side of my face today. JUST as the left side was mostly healed. It never left all over my neck though. I hate this.  

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