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Update on what's kept me from visiting you all here...

Jun 24, 2009 11:10AM - 8 comments

I'm sorry that I have not been visiting the forum on a regular basis. I further apologize for leaving you to wonder what was going on with me.

Life has been...well pretty tough, to say the least. ...As you may recall, I had an appt with my Cardiologist on April 29th...I am not sure what I had hoped to gain from this appt. but there were no "magic" answers or suggestions. At this point I am status quo with the Tikosyn. Since this is, the very last resort in the lines of medication, there is no other drug for me to consider. As for any further ablative procedures...He was not hopeful that going in for a 6th procedure would be of much benefit. Finally, he asked if I was willing  to give this medication a little longer before deciding to call it a day and go in for the full blown AV-Node ablation and pacemaker implant. I agreed and said that I didn't want to give up yet but my patience was extremely thin. So that was that. Following the appt. I sat in my car and just sobbed. I felt like I was finally reaching a point of despair with no hope, no plan, no nothing! I then did what I said I'd never do, I shut myself off to the forum, friends etc. I felt that if I was so filled with despair,  how on earth was I then going to be able to offer all of you here "the brighter side" of things...the silver lining so to speak?  

If things weren't already weighing me down, on May 10th (Mother's Day) an old friend of mine from nursing school, mother of 5 children (Michael 15, Shannon 12, Kelly 9, twins Morgan&Madison 7) was found early that morning, by her son Michael, stabbed to death in her bedroom!!!!:((( THis took place in Wolfeboro NH. She was a BEAUTIFUL woman inside and out! She lit up the darkest of rooms upon entering them! It is a TRAGIC, HORRIFIC LOSS for her children, her mother, sister&brother...as well as all of us, her dear friends! This event sent me into a tailspin for which I am now finally starting to come out of.

Just when I thought things were going to turn around, my daughter was diagnosed with Swine Flu! I know that they say God never burdens those with more than they can handle...Well, I truly feel that I have reached my quota and can be burdened with no more.

Just when I thought there was no hope for me to ever think of having any kind of quality in my life...I was given the name of a Dr. who might be the answer to my prayers....My silver lining! The following quote is his mission statement:

"I am dedicated to my profession. I believe it is my mission in life. I give all of myself to make sure my patient’s heart does what it’s supposed to do." ~Andrea Natale, M.D. <~~~This is the Dr. for me, my last ray of hope! Texas Cardiac Arrhythmia Institute here I come!

This Dr has been mentioned to me in the past...At the time, I was convinced that I was where I needed to be, that I would be "fixed" and seeking a cure elsewhere wasn't neccessary. I guess it came down to this...How many times do you get hauled into the EP lab, have catheters snaked into your heart looking for that "hot spot" only to find out, it ... didn't work. Med change after med change, none that do what they are supposed to do but make you feel like a walking zombie. I've lost count of the medications I've been given, not to mention the countless admissions through the ER, I've been cardioverted, been through the EP lab 6 times (I think they should name a revolving door after me!) I'm done playing around or letting them play around with me like I'm some kind of guinea pig! Time to pack up my toys and move on.

When my journey toward a cure started about 3 yrs ago, I never, ever, imagined that I'd still be here waiting for a miracle! This has impacted me and the lives of my family in ways that I never thought possible...Living with multiple arrhythmias has forced me to sit back and watch life go on for those around me...all the while, my life has been put on hold....it's much like somebody with TV remote in hand, points it at you and hits "PAUSE!" Now is the time for me to take control of the situation and do whatever I have to do to start living again!

Again, thank you to those who have continued to send notes and messages of encouragement...for the countless prayers all that I don't know what I'd do without. Today, my friends, is the first day of the rest of my life! I will keep you posted as this plan unfolds:)

~God Bless you all!
Adrienne

Comments
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by ireneo, Jun 24, 2009 11:59AM
I can understand your frustration and despair. So many doctors poking around and making promises only to have everything fall flat on its face. The idea of having a pacemaker is rather uncomfortable but it's so little and does so much. I had the same reaction you did when my EP mentioned a pacemaker. I just glared at him and shook my head no. But I know folks that had that reaction, finally ended up with one and now are so excited to have their energy and life back. It is a good thing.

Have you scheduled your appointment yet to meet with this EP cardio? I would love to hear how it all turns out. It's a big step but it's better than living life in the "pause" mode as you mentioned. I'll be watching and wishing you a happy heart.

irene

ps no, I never got a pacemaker. Had 3 ablations, that's enough for me. I figure as long as I don't pass out, I'm doing OK. Nothing as serious as what you're going through.

by kane3, Jun 25, 2009 11:23AM
You are a very smart, caring and kind individual. Do what's best for you and don't hold back on anything that you think you need to say or do. Your the stongest person Ive ever met and your courage to come help us while your stuggling just shows your personality at it's best. Spend time for yourself, get better and we will all continue to pray for some relief in your life. Keep on battling, as I know you will.

by mabebesc, Jun 28, 2009 08:28PM
I am so happy you have found your silver lining.  I will be thinking of you as you begin your new journey and I wish you all the best of luck.  Please keep all of us posted as there are so many who truly care about you.
Betty

by Wisconsin2007, Jul 04, 2009 12:01AM
In my research his name has come up over and over - he's been called a rock star in the field of cardiology and specifically electrophysiology.  I hope you're able to see him and he's able to put his considerable expertise to work for your benefit.

You're such a good person - you deserve this.

by SassyLassie, Jul 28, 2009 01:16PM
You will be in my prayers, I am very happy that you have found a caring doctor, yes, this does seem like the silver lining you are needing. You have been through so much, you deserve some pampering and healing, and I know our Lord WILL heal you and continue to give you strength.

Hugs
Susie
(SassyLassie)

by LindaTX, Aug 09, 2009 04:20PM
Brooke, please keep in touch. I have an appt to see Dr Natale in Austin on Sept 20. I know he's supposed to be the best. I just don't know if I'm ready to follow through. Good luck to you and God Bless.

by hipperticker, Aug 16, 2009 02:23AM
I wish you all the luck in the whole world. I do hope that everything works out for you. You should be comended for being such a strong woman. Healing Energies and Bright Light to you, my friend.

by bthenurse, Oct 26, 2009 05:11PM
im 24 and new to all this. I just saw an EP for the first time today. scheduling to have my ablation in a week. im scared too. But i look up to you for being so strong. i hope everything works out for you! you know they say the best hearts flutter!
~brandy

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