Those Wacky Hormones

I feel like a lunatic.  I was just in the bathroom and reached for the toilet paper to dry my hands!  I can't keep a thought in my head.  I am having horrible cramps, Headache & brain fuzz.  Right now I feel like rolling into a little ball & giving up.  I've had problems with hormone related issues (what my doctor calls them, I call them hormone hell) all my life.  I used to miss at least 4 days of school a month because of the painful cramps & headaches I got when I first started my menstrual cycle.  I have even passed out from the pain on occasion. I told my doctor about it at the time it started (I was 12) & she told me to toughen up it was part of being a women.  The same doctor told me I didn't have any problems when I asked for a referral for therapy at 13 just because I wouldn’t tell her why I thought I was depressed.  I have had & still have bouts of insomnia, depression, migraines, & I had some kind of hormone driven epilepsy through puberty.  My doctor once put me on BC to level things out & I went crazy.  I began to spontaneously lactate (that freaked me out).   I became severely depressed, attempted suicide & was hospitalized.  I have essential tremors that these cycles bring out in full force.  I really hate myself like this.  My mood swings are out of the park.  I go from having zero energy to buzzing around the house or office at 100 mph. I don't even recognize the person I am.  It's like being on the outside looking at a complete stranger.

I'm thinking of trying VITEX again. It seemed to help the last time I tookit, but I stopped when I got pregnant.  I truly believe it is the only reason I was able to get pregnant with my daughter.  When I'm pregnant my hormones seem to level out, but what am I going to do have a baby every two years for the rest of my childbearing life?  I am trying to get through it.  I have a doctor's appt the middle of July & don't want to do anything to throw off the labs but if something doesn't give I don't know what to do.

My mantra today:  "This will pass, I just wish it would hurry the h*ll up."