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Right Motive and How to Determine it, Eliminating Negative Energey

Jun 26, 2009 07:46PM - 4 comments
Tags:

recovery

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Glutamate Antagonists

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Schizoaffective disorder

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Vimpat

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tardive dyskinesia

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Tardive Dystonia

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Tardive Akathesia

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Tardive Psychosis

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Tardive Dysphrenia

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Tardive Dysmentia



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  I think this photo speaks volumes. It is a photo of my grandmother in front of the Buddha statues at Bamiyan that were two decades later destroyed by the Taliban. Anyone can agree that that act was horrific and destructive. But where does that urge come from? And to a far lesser extent can we see it in ourselves? And stop it? When my grandparents visited Afghanistan as part of a global tour in 1973 it was a socialist country. If things had remained as is it might have transitioned into a democracy. But the then Soviet Union invaded and the United States counteracted by supporting the Mujahadeen who became the Taliban years later. We would have agreed at the time we had to stop the Soviet Union from taking over. But look what happened after. The aftershocks of the cold war created what although in some ways confined to the mideast is now a world war and a very real one.
   We can look back and see what might have gone wrong. But we did not anticipate it. But with every judgment we make we must. Even in every day life. The concept of "right motive" is Buddhist. But it applies to every religion or belief system I would think. We do not seek to inflict upon our enemies what they did to us. We seek justice. So there was the Nuremburg trial for the Nazis and other criminals of World War II. One could say they didn't deserve a trial but that proved they were wrong. They had no ability to say so otherwise because they had been given a fair trial. I can support the defense of the United States and certainly support the troops in the current war. I know that sometimes war is necessary as well. But "defense" is not the same as "retaliation". I do, however, think our motives have been clear and in the right but it is something to keep in mind at all times. Any country worth speaking such as the United States does as does any leader.
  But for all of us at all times, the essential thing to do is look back and see if we can think of our motives in what we do. Not whether it is within the law because I am sure we respect the law. But what is the reason for it? And why? I've had a chance to do that as I adjusted treatment because it does seem to serve as a mood stabilizer and that helps adjust thinking. But for people without a psychiatric disability people can still act out of hatred. And yet the act could be right. How can we eliminate hatred as a motive in our life? Anger is a normal emotion. To act on it, especially on a higher level as a motive is wrong. I had to think about that myself with some ongoing legal issues (which I cannot discuss but are rational and more importantly are not contesting the medical or mental health system) as to motive. And now that things have improved I do see the right motive but I can continue to approach them with that mindset. And then its far more likely the results will be helpful to others. The reason I think of the statues at Bamiyan is because I visited an exhibit at the Metropolitan Museum of Art today. Its good to get out and about but regardless of traveling by Access A Ride my physical disability is still severe and it doesn't appear physical but a person is not rational during a seizure either. That is physical. The Vimpat is a good medication for tardive dyskinesia and what they are identifying as tardive psychosis, tardive dysphrenia and tardive dysmentia. I want to be helped. I want to recover. I want others to. That is the right motive. Sadly (and by no means to agree, just to know how the other side thinks) I was reading some anti-psychiatry books. Their descriptions of these conditions were similar to what I experience but their motive was wrong, which is to stop people from getting help. By using adverse side effects to say medication is wrong.  And yet not to speak of treatments in study such as the glutamate antagonist antipsychotics that can't cause them and worse yet not to even advocate for treatments for tardive dyskinesia. One can see clearly their motive is wrong. But I need my neurological disability defined for myself to receive the accomodations I need and also for these treatments to potentially be used in others. And for my safety in the meantime, I have been involved in some legal issues, certainly never to seek compensation but for my safety and welfare and for those of others. I am not sure if my motive was right at certain times but now that I can define it now I know it is. If you want to know how to stop adverse or negative or hateful thinking you can easily find it in others. But can you find it in yourself? And eliminate it? Because if we all did that would be one step further for humanity..

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by LetaB, Jun 26, 2009 09:04PM
Amazing photo. I think of that sad, childish destruction every once in a while and feel frustrated with humanity. i deal (or don't deal) withy such overwhelming bitterness over what has happened to me and can testify that it's purest poison. However I have no clue how to surface from it. So glad you are fighting the good fight and getting out to take advantage of all the amazing things to see where you are. Jealousy is another of my ugliest sins. Sigh.

by ILADVOCATE, Jun 26, 2009 10:15PM
Yes well one thing that made me think about it is I had a near death experience the other day. I waited a bit too long to take that new medication (Lacosomide) and I went into a dissociative state and started experiencing dysphagic choking spasms (but when I took it, it brought it to a complete stop so I would think my neurologist who is a movement disorders specialist will find the results favorable and that visit is Monday) It was terrifying but it reminded me of how important life is and how it can go any second and how we should value it in ourselves and others. I am watching to see if I start to experience depression from that medication (a side effect that it states to watch out for) but it has been only a minor problem that has slowly improved over time and as the dosage increased so has the control over the dystonic spasms and I actually do feel I am enjoying life more now. Even if my specific recovery is (for now) unique I don't want to feel alone in the world but yet I want to feel I gained any stability in my life through uniting not creating divisiveness among people  I know and it is always something to look back and consider at moments of judgment over what we do and what are the potential consequences.

by LetaB, Jun 27, 2009 02:49AM
Hmmm...but what if we were ALL peacemakers? Although unpopular I believe the nay sayers, the oppositional, and the zealous are all catalysts in our world. Necessary if uncomfortable. My hope is that I can effect some change in the world - preferably for my children, or at least similar children that come after them.
Your symptoms sound so various it is hard for me to wrap my mind around them. So glad you are finding continues success with your current meds. Have you got some consistant help to come in for you? Do you tour the museums alone?

by ILADVOCATE, Jun 27, 2009 11:23AM
   The new medication is just adjusting and it will take some time. Results seem good so far. A family member went with me to the museum. Sometimes other people I know go with me. I am appealing home attendant coverage and when I get that I will travel with a home attendant but without coverage they are too expensive. As for my symptoms that I described as you know I have schizoaffective disorder which I have made a good recovery from and advanced tardive dyskinesia which I am in the recovery process for as well as those 3 variants (tardive psychosis, tardive dypshrenia, tardive dysmentia) under clinical study. I can't give you accurate sources to look those up except perhaps Wikipedia and those just summarize tentative clinical findings. The rest is anti-psychiatry blatant misinformation which in itself is antagonistic and hateful. My case study will be a literal first. And when one googles tardive dyskinesia the first results that appear speak of lawsuits. I do believe more treatments should be studied as well as preventative means and new treatments that don't cause my disability but lawsuits waste money that go straight to a lawyer. And that money could be used to help develop new treatments. It is an antagonistic action without merit.
  As for what you say I do speak out against many forms of oppression and of course there is emotional intensity around that. I would not want a life devoid of human emotions. Its just to take a common example when one looks at the 60's one sees the civil rights movement and what it accomplished and the more hate fueled protests at the end of the era and how they destroyed a lot of what was done. Before I acquired my physical disability I did go to a few protests (nothing controversial, one in Washington D.C. about the Olmstead Decision that the Supreme Court sided with and allowed people with disabilities to live in the "least restrictive setting") But it was an act of civil disobediance that created Access A Ride to begin with. Google "Adapt.org". There are people who speak out against injustice and tyranny. I was reading a book contrasting the lives of Frederick Douglas and Abraham Lincoln. Both were powerful speakers and certainly were oppositional to what was occuring then which was slavery and of course it took the Civil War to end it. But neither spoke out of hatred which as a motive destroys not only who you are opposing but oneself as well.

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