Feb 17, 2014
Alright! so after 9 months of the most recent scare here i am again writing up an incident that happened on the 15th of February,
This time I'm not scared of what can happen I am more scared of how my relationship will be. When we do it we know the consequences , but why do we do it when we know we can't wrap our heads around the idea of unplanned pregnancy. I'm so ridiculous for giving in to my sexual desires.
I would have been on birth control pills but I knew that our relationship was not the same as before anymore. the more that we prolonged it the colder he gets and the more upset i feel. He's not sure of how he feels about me and I can't force him to love me back if he can't.
I'm just hopelessly in love with him. I'd say yes if he's ask me to spend the day with him. I won't even think twice to ignore his messages. I'd do anything to be with him. And that ended with this incident that happened on the 15th of feb. I'm not blaming him nor is he blaming me. We both knew that we were both responsible. we both knew we can't handle it. So we bought an emergency contraceptive pill (plan b) about an hour after the mishap. That made me feel better. the fact that he was wearing condoms and we only had a problem that it slipped with the rib hanging out was more comforting to me. because it didnt spill in me. but my concern was that i wiped down there and it smelled like ***. I try not to stress out but being alone is the worst feeling. He works fulltime and I'm a student. My head hurts and i get nauseous a lot. eating to much makes my stomach turn.