Jun 28, 2009
Well I am 192 days free of all mind alterin substances. My drug of choice for many years was heroin, tho this was only after abusing, cannabis, ecstasy, cocaine then latterly crack, just the usual addicts journey I imagine!!
I have come on this site to post because I am strugglin with my feelins of boredom & depression & loneliness and also I want to talk to others in the same position as myself and get their feddback & support as well.
I have been feelin really low lately, bordeom & loneliness being my main factors. I struggle financially which limits what I can do in my free time. I work part time in the afternoons (A job given to me by my sis in law) for which I am eternally grateful as she knew the boredom was killin me and they have seen me get clean b4 & relapse thru the boredom as well as the people, places, things (ie startin to contact old using "friends" thru bordeom/loneliness). So at least I am busy for a good part of the day now.
Howeva its always the wknds that I struggle, tho once again my sis in law tells me to come see them rather than sit on my own, but I dont want to be a burden. Tho in my heart of hearts I know Im not as my family are just happy to see me getn on with my life and staying clean. The hard part is that none of them understand what Im goin through and to be honest I wouldnt want to burden them with my troubles anyway as it would only make them worry, which in turn makes them more protective, which in turn drives me nuts!!! Ha Ha
I just wanted to get my feelins down on paper/cyber paper and see what happens.
Im gona keep up this journal malarkey and track my progress ;o) xx