So yeah we're doubling my Ambien dose. Today was day 2 of VBS. Just like day one, a lot. The ferret's reak of poop. I swear they fart. My feet smell. I should probably change my socks today or tomarrow. I want to write, but I am so very tired. I'm not sure what's wrong- I'm really scared I'm getting anemic again. You know, it doesn't seem like such a big deal, I mean, whatever, a bit low on iron, but I get so tired, so fast. Within two days I need to rest after walking up the stairs. It makes me feel very pathetic. i've been eating meat- hell, I've been eating TOO MUCH. I had my second pizza today, I'm such a fatass. Tomarrow I will get my act together. Otherwise...I will not fill out this journal, I will not be allowed o nthe computer! That's it, if I get less than a B- tomarrow, no computer for me! I need to go up soon, hopefully I will get a good nights sleep tonight. And this VBS has thrown off my showering pattern. I'm up too early in the morning, and go to sleep too late at night. I'm going to MAKE TIME!
I started driver's ed tonight. My class is very quiet, but a lot of the kids are quiet. A lot of them smoke, I found out during break. Made me wish I had gotten a pack instead of using my logic =[ I can hear family guy in the other room. I watched Benny and Joon, it was really good. Better than I thought it would be, especially for a 16 year old movie. We got a lot of manuels and **** at driver's ed, and filled out a lot of forms. My first driving hour is monday. I'm really scared, what if they kick me out if I crash? What if I DO crash? Plus it's two and a half hours long, makes my bottom hurt. I SWEAR I'll take my meds tonight. My other meds, I mean. I have this bad habit of dumping out my pill container into my pocket because I just don't want to take them =[ I keep...getting them stuck in my throat, and then the anxiety of thinking it will happen, makes it happen. It really scares me, and I usually consider myself a pill popping monster (should tell you something about my self evaluations, haha). My babies need their shots next month, they're going to a special "ferret doctor" and they need their nails clipped. Badly. Also, I need to get Ham's systems checked out. He seems to have an incontenence problem =[ And a lot of trouble gaining and keeping weight. Tator's weight fluctuates something nasty, and I think in all honestly my mother should stop spoiling them so much with dog food and make it a reward. I feel very nauseus, I've been overeating. I RSVP'd to steve maconi's going away party. He's going to swedin (I believe) for a school year. It will be very different without him and his silly gay antics around. He makes me smile. I hope I may attend his party. I am a bit disturbed by the fact that I will probably never see Willy again, even though we swear we'll meet again one day. Wouldn't that be something. Ok I should stop talking.