I am very suicidal

There are support groups for that. I had a family member go through that and it can be very traumatic. Perhaps that's something you'd want to look into.

I'm so very sorry for your loss. I can only imagine how very difficult this is for you. I hope you find the strength to pull through this loss, after giving yourself time to deal with the pain... it's only been a week, be patient with yourself. Then, when you can, try doing something good for you... a night away... something that gives you a chance to focus on something other than the very justified sadness you are dealing with now... build some happy memories. A friend of mine miscarried a few months back... she had a tough time, just as you are, but emailed me today to say she is focusing on fun for a change. What can you do, for yourself, to help? Please know you are in my thoughts. Don't give up.