May 05, 2008 04:47PM
- comments
I can finally say I feel fat again. Its crazy to think that I've gained 17 pounds since I've finished meds. I can't wear my skinny jeans any more and any tops that I've bought this past year are pretty tight. Even though I was really skinny I still had a little bit of a pouch and now it seems a lot of my weight gain is settling around there. My thighs are large again and my booty has almost inflated back to its old size. I read about this weight gain being normal when treatment ends. I've never had to go on any strict diets before but I think its time I kick my comfort food habits from treatment. I've let myself continue to indulge in a high carb diet and 3 months later I finally see the results. I still don't eat enough vegetables but I'm trying to eat 1-2 salads daily and a full glass of v8 fusion. My 2 week trip to Amsterdam and Paris is coming up soon and I need to take some longer walks to work up to full days of trekking around Europe. Thankfully I do feel A LOT OF STRENGTH. Its amazing to feel muscle in my arms and not have trouble carrying the trash down the stairs. I can pick up multiple bags of groceries now and all I can say is its empowering to have the ability to do things for myself again. I still haven't adjusted socially back to where I was before. I do feel a lot less awkward around groups of people because I'm less foggy and I can process conversation much better. Deep muscle/joint pain is still random but much less frequent. I still haven't cut my hair since a few months before treatment begain and I think I'm ready for a new style. Scraggly chemo hair just isn't cool anymore and I'm sick of pulling it back all of the time. My skin is going a little crazy...acne real bad just in time for my 24th birthday. It seems to be clearing up a little but looks nothing like it did while I was on treatment. The color of my skin was of course super pale with really dark purple under eyes and lips, but the texture was pretty nice. My skin was really clear and only slightly dry overall. So having acne again is a real disappointment but I think a major change in my diet may balance things out.