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Is it normal to wanna be a mom?

Jul 07, 2009 - 15 comments
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normal

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mom

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virgin

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experience

,

pregnant



I'm only 14 and I'm still a virgin. I watch a lot of shows like "The Secret Life of the American Teenager" and "16 and Pregnant". I see all the trouble those teen moms go through, but I still wanna experience pregnancy and being a mom. I know how I should just worry about getting good grades and getting a good job, and I wanna try to do the best I can throughout high school, college, and my job. I wanna be an ultrasound technician when I grow up. But how can I get over this desperate need to be a teen mom?

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by Britt_Armonii, Jul 07, 2009
to answer ur question, it is VERY normal to WANT to be a mom, but there far more IMPORTANT things that u have to take care of in this stage in ur life b4 u take that plunge. trust me, i'm onli 18 n i understand how u want to grow up so fast and be a mother to someone, but i juss..KNOW there are things i have to do to get comfortable w/ taking on a BIG RESPONSIBILITY like that. it speaks volumes that u decided to ask the opinion of others b4 risking it all and going for it..and it also shows that u have some doubts. 9 times out of 10 if ur asking about it or unsure in ANY way, ur not ready. ur very young, and unlike some ppl you have a LOONG time to become a mother. a lot of ppl can't say that. i kno me, i'm a very selfish person [like most teens are]..and that's juss ONE thing out of many i have to work on b4 i try being TOTALLY RESPONIBLE for another human being. although there are many joys to being a mommy, there is also A LOT of sacrifice and hard work. so do this..since u KNOW already u should be concerned with getting good grades and getting a job..DO IT. now's the time for you to learn how to earn money and spend it on things you want w/o depending on someone else. you'll know when the time comes for a child of ur own. for now, juss have fun babysitting little cousins or something lol you'll make it when ur really ready hunn !! :]

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by sandee1818, Jul 08, 2009
I will tell you a VERY good way to suppress that feeling for awhile. Keep a baby or toddler for a few days. Maybe you have a family member who has a child. Then you have to be totally responsible for the child for three days and wake up to feed them and clean them entertain them and soooooo many other things. Cleaning up too is part of being a mom so you have to do all the household chores too! No dates and phone calls to your friends as you will not have time:)

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by sandee1818, Jul 08, 2009
Honey please listen to me. You have your entire life ahead of you and plenty of time to be a mom. Do not rush it because your just not ready for motherhood at 14! You need to worry about school and having fun with your friends and such and not worrying at this age about being a mom. it is normal to have these feelings but I assure you it will pass with time and then when the right time comes you will be ready.

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by Cherie762, Jul 09, 2009
oh yes its normal, I dreamed of it at your age, Please listen to all of us, you sound smart and kind. be a mom when your older, for now enjoy school, get your education so you can be a good provider adn role model for your babies, Do things in whats considered a traditional manner, you dont have to particularly be married to have a baby now adays but honey please, dont get pregnant now, It is not as easy for most as you think. I lost one baby to miscarriage and one to premature birth, i have three healthy sons...my oldest boy just turned 18, at 17 he got his gf pg, she is 16 her life and his are now hard, she is 51/2 months pg and even with supportive parents, they both must work, her continuing her senior year at high school is now impossible as there are no family members to babysit on a regular basis, she must be home schooled next year, her step mom and I will help,,everyone will be working full time,,,yes babies are cute and a blessing,,reality they cry often , need to be feed often, they vomit, poop all over the place, it is very hard work very hard..wait please please wait.

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by teko, Jul 09, 2009
Take up babysitting for some extra money. Get someone with a two-4 year old. That will change your mind for awhile.

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by teko, Jul 09, 2009
When my daughter was in high school, they had a program in school where they issued dolls with a carseat and diaper bag. The doll was compute run and would log all the activities. It was programmed to cry at inoptertune times. You had to change her when she cried or feed her or rock her. They had to keep the baby with them at all times. This went on for two weeks. It would cry all hours of the night and in the car, where ever and you had to tend to them till they stopped. Results of it. 99% of the girls failed the test and no longer wanted to even think about carrying that doll around anymore! lol  It was funny!

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by Destinysjoy, Jul 09, 2009
My sister-in-law has seven kids.  Her first one was born when she was 14.  Today she is 36 years old and believe me when I tell you, she acts just like a kid.  Even the decisions she make is not of a mature adult women.  The family thinks this is because she had no childhood.  Out of all of her kids (mostly different fathers) only the two youngest one's have anything to do with her.  They are just 13 and 11.  Please live your life.  There will always be time for kids.

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by boldsojah4christ, Jul 09, 2009
Amen!! I know that it's a fad 2 have a baby @ a young age these days!! But don't rush finish school if possible go 2 college get a degree & ask God 2 find u a job!! Trust me those 16 yr olds that u see on MTV don't have it easy!! Dropping out of school! No job! Bad boy friend!! Staying @ home with moms & dad!! All becouse they made a wrong choice n life!! I here young girls say all the time only if could do it all over again!! Sis don't be 2 quick 2 grow up!! Get married 1st & ask God 2 send you a good husband!! ((((B.O.L.D.))))

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by peggy64, Jul 09, 2009
These are all some fine ideas, and I will add something that I have not see, to give you a different perspective, this is just ONE mind you. There are many many on this subject.

Having a baby is more than just cuddling and rocking and the sweet smell of johnsons baby lotion. It takes LOTS and LOTs of money. So start there, where would you get the money? See before being a parent a person needs to be self sufficient. If not, who pays?   Someone has to pay.  Where would you get the money? How would you pay for diapers, and doctor visits, and the hospital charge when it comes time for delivery? and how would you get to the dr?

See, you need to be married and self sufficient with your husband, before a baby comes into your life. Go out and price baby items like diapers, and lotion, and car seats, and baby bed, and diapers, and wipes, and diapers. Then think about it.

But really, that should not be the main reason you choose not to have a baby right now.


You are to be applauded that you are still a virgin, and I encourage you to continue on that path, until you are married. I know, that is not politically correct, but it is still the best way.



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by peggy64, Jul 09, 2009
And I would think about stop watching those shows that are influencing you in this manner.

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by margypops, Jul 09, 2009
Plenty of great shows on the discovery channel and lots of better things for you to watch as they are influencing you, trust me you are not ready yet , in a few years it will be a wonderful experience, get some baby sitting and then you will be with children, it is a wonderful experience and you can bond with other peoples kids I have done it, focus on what you have coming up ahead, motherhood isnt far away ..time goes by pretty fast..good luck you will be a great Mom when the time is right...

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by sandee1818, Jul 09, 2009
Yes, these shows are just not reality. They only show you an hour and then you do not know what really goes on!

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by Tuckamore, Jul 09, 2009
You have no idea what you will miss and how your life will change if you become a teen mom. Many have been there and it is no picnic. The media does not show you the true challenges a teen mom faces. Grandma's should not have ro care for the grandchildren, but that would happen if you had a baby now.Your friends stop coming because they have fun things to do. When your friends are going places, dating or having sleep overs you may well be walking the floor with a sick baby or going through the pain of teething with your baby. Who will babysit when you want to go out or cram for an exam? That baby deserves a solid, stable home with two mature parents that can support it. If you cannot provide that for a baby it is not fair to them to bring them into the world until you can.
I think you will make a wonderful mother when the time is right. But at 14 the time is never right. Take it from someone who has been there. Please WAIT!

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by NautyOne, Jul 09, 2009
You just said it yourself.........you made the statement "when I grow-up"  that speaks mountains.  Really think about that statement, and If you were a mother and your daughter said that to you.

Dig deep into why you want to make such an adult choice that you know you will regret.  You stated  what U want to do when you grow up.  It will be very difficult to reach your goals if you make a poor choice.

Dig deep, hun......really think hard about this............I am truly worried about you.

Luv,
Nauty.................



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by 12sobieralskib, Jul 09, 2009
there is no way you will want a child at 14. I baby-sit my neighbors 10 month old that ive watched since he was 6months and you will be exhausted for a long time.  Now that im doing volleyball and i watch him i get very exhausted and strugle...

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