PACT part 2

So I'm still getting inducted into PACT.  I have a case manager now who I have to see for one hour every week.  They were talking about getting me on social security and they're going to get me rides to go grocery shop and get me into eye doctors and stuff.  I went to a co-occuring substance abuse thing there since I have a drinking problem and I quit drinking but I still really really miss drinking and they wanted me to keep coming but I don't see how it was supposed to help because they don't tell you things like why you shouldn't drink and such.  I found out my diagnosis is specifically Paranoid Schizophrenia and PTSD.  I'm ok with having the latter but I'm still trying to come to terms with having the former since I lost some things inside of me thanks to it and it's part of the reason my relationship is falling apart and I'm so nuts off medication to where I have trouble distinguishing between my thoughts and what's going on around me among many other things.  For the past seven or eight years I thought I probably had both most of my life but everyone told me oh no you can't possibly have those.  Well I guess I'm always right in the end as a trained professional told me this.  I've been depressed since yesterday because Louise's paranoid psychotic abusive episodes are really starting to get to me and I'm so burnt out from them.  I still hallucinate on meds a little.  Yesterday I saw a HUGE hissing cockroach on the wall that disappeared and a few days before that my cat ran into a box next to my desk and I grabbed her tail and when I got on the floor to mess with her and reached in she wasn't there.  I looked up and she was actually on the other side of the room the whole time.