Apr 19, 2014
Why my journal is entitled what it is, is because off days truly are like a mirror where you look in it and there could be multiple "reflections" or faces that show themselves many emotions that you go through many mood phases that you can't control or stop that surface. Lately I have had the mirror many reflections effect happening to me. I have been in this major funk that I can't shake and I am not sure how to get through it other then just go with it and hope it goes away. Since I have multiple disorders sometimes some of them overlap with the symptoms but this time around with my schizoaffective disorder that being bipolar and schizophrenia combined I experienced that pieces of bipolar disorder, the stuff that I despise about it not knowing which way I am going to go until I am there. This time around I have been in a mixed mood state some symptoms being disorganized thinking, staying up until all hours of the night and not being able to sleep, irritable, some anger, some speech issues, get annoyed real fast, mania as well has always caused me to get my ideas wanting to get them organized early on and be prepared way ahead of time. Depression is setting in as well ive been sad much of the time, putting off tasks as the same time, feel worried and kinda hopeless about my future, feel worried and I don't know why. Then on top of it Im suffering on the schizo side of thing I have been suspicious and cautious of others real leary thinking others hate me even if they don't know me are talking about me, ill have hallucinations and delusions, hear voices.
I just want to the madness to stop because when I go through these funks I never know when it will go away. I am on day 5 of my funk and am hoping it goes away soon.