I is sad....

I decided to push myself....see if my illness is just a lame excuse for not trying hard to be normal. I drove 30 minutes along a single lane highway notorious for accidents and deaths.caught the train for a 42 minute journey to my sister's home. Met up with my mother and assorted family members for a Mother's Day lunch at a rather overly noisy and packed restaurant/pub. I was lucky and got a mini bottle of champagne to keep, as I am a mother, and that was a gift of the hotel.Eat, eat, chat chat, yatta, yatta....I asked my new sister-in-law (she married my brother on 26th March this year) how she was coping since her total thyroidectomy, which was a year ago. (Silly girl decided since she had Grave's disease and is a vegetarian that she wouldn't take the replacement thyroxine and go 'healthy' instead.Needless to say the doctor went bananas and told her she had all but killed her thyroid and it had to come out!)
My lovely Japanese sister-in-law who has a great Aussie accent told me, "OH, great! Only a minute change in dose. I do feel the cold terribly but otherwise, yeah, really good!" I held my knife in my hand and willed it not to lash out and create yet another scar for my dear relative.....I glanced around the table...had anyone noticed the evil glint in my eye? No! Knife was placed delicately to the side of my plate....."Oh, you are so lucky. You look great, by the way."
   Later on the train home I paused to think of the days events and all that had transpired.......my fatigue levels had started to kick in only an hour after I had arrived, my brain fog started to meld my brain to my cranium....and my sister-in-law, brother-in -arms so to speak who has had a TT too, tells me she feels wonderful! Aaaaaaaaaaaaaargh!
   I drove home in full peak Mother's Day traffic...(where I live Sunday is High Day Tripper Traffic anyway!)..I staggered into my home, collapsed on the couch, and vagued out for hours...by nights end I wondered was it all worth the self-imposed challenge.. Probably not.
   So, why on earth do I not feel better? Why is it that someone else can feel 100% after having their thyroid removed and I feel, hmmmmmmm....proverbially icky! I'm a medical freak? I am attention seeking? No, I think the answer lies in the fact that I need to collapse in a heap before anyone realises I have something else other than thyroid going on....but how does one prove that something is wrong without becoming histrionic and labelled 'psychotic'.....Bah...I'm going to bed!